Transcendence Review

Potential hazardous---Johnny Depp as a man who is forced to put his brain inside of a computer system in Transcendence
                                         Transcendence stars an abundance of extremely talented actors, is directed by magnificent cinematographer and first time director Wally Pfister and is written by first time writer Jack Paglen. This is a film that seemed to have enormous potential from the start and had everything going for it. This is why I'm sad to report that this is one of the most deadly dull, blandest films I have ever seen in my life. It's not surprising that Pfister has been a long time cinematographer for Christopher Nolan because this is obviously striving to be the next Inception. However, this more ends up feeling like the next Armageddon. This is a science fiction thriller with no thrills, no heart and an attempt to say something timely about the society we're living in that never actually makes a point.

                                          In the film, Johnny Depp plays Will Caster, a brilliant scientist (although the audience is never given any reason to believe this) who is attacked by a terrorist group and injected with a bullet that gives him a short time to stay alive with no chance of recovery. Will finds that an experiment in which a monkey's brain was linked to a computer was pulled off successfully so with the help of wife Evelyn (Rebecca Hall) and buddy Max (Paul Bettany), Will decides to try this on himself. However, two agents or whatever they are, it's never really explained (Cillian Murphy and Morgan Freeman) are investigating as to whether or not this experiment will end up being beneficial and if Will can retain his humanity.

                                           This is the type of film that thinks it's being clever simply by bringing up issues that are present today but never actually proposing how to resolve them. The problem with this is not that it can't be clever just to bring up issues currently affecting society. The problem is that screenwriter Paglen can't even get the issue right. Yes...over reliance on technology is an issue affecting society today but the issue is brought up in such an over the top and unrealistic manner that it makes clear that this film would have worked better were it not science fiction. No one is really good here. Depp is purposely wooden in his mostly speaking role and given 20 more of these Depp performances or two more performers like The Lone Ranger and Alice In Wonderland...I would take the 20. He doesn't really bring anything to the table, though. Hall, Murphy and Freeman are all clearly just going through the motions and trying to collect their paycheck. Bettany is the only thing close to worth watching here. He's the only actor in this thing who gives his character any real humanity or growth. Every other actor is just a blank slate.
 
                                            Also, it doesn't help that a lot of the film depends on caring about Will and Evelyn's relationship when the audience is given no reason to care about either of them. However, by far the worst aspect of this film is how many directions it *tries* to go in. It gets to the point where nothing makes sense but there's no purpose to the confusion.

                                             Pfister and Paglen were obviously attempting to make a film that will be thought about for decades to come. While they may have accomplished that, they accomplished this task in the wrong way. They have made a film that people will keep thinking about and in doing so, will find more and more flaws with and will realize just how boring this whole experience truly is.
(1/2 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated PG-13 for sci-fi action and violence, some bloody images, brief strong language and sensuality)

The Raid 2 Review

Just shoot me---Julie Estelle as one of the many murderers who get caught up in a corruptive police plot in The Raid 2
                           Gareth Evans's 2011 action film The Raid: Redemption was, in my eyes, the greatest action film ever made. Evans has outdone himself with The Raid 2, however, bumping his own first film down to the second greatest action film ever made. It's one of the few sequels that works even better than the original, like Wayne's World 2. This is an extremely brutal kill first and ask questions later action film. People get their ankles cut, faces get shot off and arms get cut off. Did I mention that's only the first 20 minutes of the film? However, this is also the type of action film that is not at all mindlessly violent. Every piece of violence in here serves a purpose and is also strangely visually pleasing to the eye. Also, this is an intriguing maze of a plot that is likely to completely engage any fan of trust no one thrillers, even taking out the excellent action.

                            The sequel once again stars Iko Uwais as Rama, who is hired to purposely land himself in jail to uncover a corruption among the police. This is literally the only description of the plot I can give because saying anything else about the plot would no doubt ruin the fantastic surprises that are presented in this film.

                             Uwais, a real life martial arts champion once again proves himself to be an incredible action star who is more than capable of doing his own stunts. Evans's direction is fantastic, not relying on any of the overly used action shots that are so commonplace in film today. However, Evans also provides an amazing screenplay, full of great dialogue and incredibly intriguing conversations that keeps the audience engaged even when the action isn't taking place. This is no doubt the definitive example of a film that should be shown to high school and college students who aspire to one day make films of their own. Every shot, piece of dialogue, background noise, ETC are used to such perfection that it starts to sneak up on the audience that this is the type of film that the phrase "the magic of movies" is referring to. Although this film will obviously not be to everyone's liking, this is to an action film fan what The Wizard Of Oz is to a lot of people. In other words, action film fans 75 years from now will be looking at this and seeing just how timeless it is.

                              On all levels, The Raid 2 is a masterpiece. If you can stomach a lot of brutality (I'm talking close to Saw level here), two and a half hours of subtitles and a plot that is purposely complex and confusing...this is no doubt the type of film that you will absolutely be invested in.
(5 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated R for sequences of strong, bloody violence throughout, sexuality and language)

Dom Hemingway Review

Breaking the law----Jude Law and Nathan Stewart-Jarrett as a recently released criminal and an old foe with a vengeance in Dom Hemingway
                                           The newest crime comedy written and directed by Richard Shepard, who previously did the very funny crime farces The Matador and The Hunting Party, features dynamite performances from Jude Law and Richard E Grant. Unfortunately, the film itself is a complete mess. This is simultaneously a half baked comedy in which nothing happens at all and a crime film that is completely overwhelming because too much is happening. This bizarre mixture might be best explained by the fact that Shepard is obviously struggling to make up his mind on what his intentions actually are here. By the time the end credits roll, Shepard makes it pretty clear that he still doesn't know. While letting the audience make up their minds about the title character might have worked the film is so utterly confusing to begin with, it simply can't work.

                                            The film follows title character Dom Hemingway (Law,) who has just been released from prison after twelve years. Dom reunites with his old pal, Dickie (Grant), visits his old boss Mr. Fontaine (Demian Bichir), tries to reconnect with his estranged daughter, Evelyn (Emilia Clarke) and faces a bitter old foe (Nathan Stewart Jarrett of the television superhero comedy "Misfits".) All these plots could have worked together in a more comprehensive film but Shepard makes all of them into unnecessary ideas that come and go as he pleases.

                                             Also, Dom is too much of a cartoon to make the audience believe he has any humanity to him, no matter how hard Shepard tries to convince us at the end. Law is great in the role but a lot of that is because of how unbelievably ridiculous his character is. To put some image in your mind of how dehumanized Dom is, the first scene features him describing how his private area is exactly like a Picasso painting. The second scene is Dom beating his wife's new lover almost to death directly after getting released from a long time in prison. It's alright to make a film about someone like this. However, Shepard makes the mistake of adding in forced sentimentality at the end as if he was only kidding at the beginning, which goes back to the fact that he had no way of making up his mind.

                                              If someone went up to me ten minutes after I saw Dom Hemingway and asked me to give them an in depth plot summary, I wouldn't have been able to do it. This is not only due to the fact that the film is instantly forgettable but because the film doesn't really have a plot at all. It is a serious of undemanding but massively dull scenes that are strung together for no reason. Law, Grant, Bichir, Clarke and Stewart-Jarrett have all proven to be excellent actors in far better things. As well, Shepard's two films before this displays that he's obviously an extreme talent. I only hope all of these people go onto to do much better films.
(2 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated R for sexual content, nudity, pervasive language, some violence and drug use

Alan Partridge Review

Radio host nowhere---Steve Coogan as an oblivious host of a radio show who must deal with a hostage situation in Alan Partridge
                                       It's almost as if Steve Coogan is daring me not to like him. Despite being a huge fan of Coogan's and good British comedy, I have somehow managed to avoid the hit show "I'm Alan Partridge" and its various spin offs. Thus, going into the new film, Alan Partridge was my first taste of this classic Coogan character.

                                        This is the type of film that made me have a huge smile on my face the entire time I was watching it and made me laugh out loud at least a dozen times. However, when the end credits started rolling, I was glad that the fun was over. The character that Coogan creates is such an unlikable nuisance that 90 minutes with this man is more than enough. This is not just an oblivious character a la "Mr. Bean"---this guy is a borderline psychopath.

                                          In the film, Coogan plays the title character, a mid-morning radio host who convinces the new head honchos to fire Pat Farrell (Colm Meaney) and quickly regrets it as the acts as an in between for the police when Pat takes hostages at one of the radio station's parties. Alan is so incredibly dumb that he actually treats the whole hostage situation as a silly joke. Meanwhile, the police are trying to find out Pat's motivation and stop him from holding the hostages.

                                          This is the kind of humor that shows why Brits are, a lot of the time, significantly funnier than Americans. The film has a fast paced and kinetic energy to it that delivers multiple laughs a minute. This is the type of film that's aware of just how stupid it is and would have it no other way. Also, it's hard to talk about how funny this film is without giving anything away, which is a good thing for a comedy to possess.
     
                                           Coogan is incredibly loathsome in the title role, which works for the character he is playing but would not have worked for a minute longer. Also, the way in which Meaney plays Pat as a subtle nutcase rather than a full blown, over the top whack job makes that character much funnier than he could have been.

                                              I can't say that Alan Partridge is the type of comedy like Office Space or Shaun Of The Dead that I would love to watch over and over again. Almost everyone in the film is completely unlikable in their own way, which is funny in the context of the film but might not work all that often. However, for my first time seeing Coogan play this embezzle, I had an absolute blast with Alan Partridge and would recommend that anyone who likes good British humor go see it.
(3 and 1/2 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated R for language, brief violence and nudity)

Draft Day Review

Touchdo...not quite---Kevin Costner and Jennifer Garner as a sports manager and his co-worker girlfriend in Draft Day
                                             Draft Day is a film that so consistently insists that it works and that I wanted to like so much that it ends up being a huge bummer when the film just kind of falls flat on its face. This is not a bad film by any stretch of the imagination and consider the dread that 2014 has caused me thus far (there are some exceptions of course), this looks pretty good. However, the film too often feels like just another collection of film tropes that when it does hit the ground running, it's too little too late.

                                               The film stars Kevin Costner as Sonny Weaver, JR, the manager of the Cleveland Browns who's stressing out over this particular day because it's time for yet another NFL draft. Things go from bad to worse when Sonny trades his team's number one pick much to the chagrin of the head coach (Denis Leary) and his recently pregnant girlfriend/co-worker (Jennifer Garner.) Sonny also has to deal with his bickering mother (Ellen Burstyn) who insists on prying about his dead father at the worst time.

                                                 I can't say that there's not a lot here to like. Costner is really good, being appropriately stilted as the manager who is both intrigued and terrified as to whether his idea will backfire or not. Garner works with what she has and gives it her all as the bitter girlfriend who must still deal with Sonny on the day of the draft. Leary and Burstyn both provide excellent comic relief as the people in Sonny's life who have no fear of questioning his decisions. As well, Frank Langella shows up for a few scenes as Sonny's boss and gives the film some much needed life. Also, the last 30 minutes of the film are as exciting of a finale as a film can have.
             
                                                    However, despite solid acting and a jolting last 30 minutes, the film takes so long to get to anything even remotely exciting that by the time something mildly enjoyable happened, I was already not trying to fall asleep. The film is so insistent on setting up everything that director Ivan Reitman and writers Scott Rothman and Rajiv Joseph forget that audiences paid their hard earned money for more than just people talking about football over the phone. Also, while the last 30 minutes are exciting, the way the film plays out from beginning to end has too many plot conveniences and idealized results to warrant any realism.

                                                     While I can't dismiss the potential that Draft Day had going for it and the few tricks it had up its sleeve that the film ultimately pulled off, there's also no ignoring the fact that the film is an undemanding and pleasant but ultimately dull experience for the most part.
(2 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated PG-13 for brief strong language and sexual references)

Sabotage Review

This isn't your grandma's Arnold---Arnold Schwarzenegger and Olivia Williams as agents who must team up to stop corrupt baddies in Sabotage
                                              Sabotage is a very hard film to review. It is a huge, scathing middle finger to the film's target audience, an incredibly stupid, poorly made action film and one of the better action films in the Arnold Schwarzenegger canon all for the same reason. This reason can be summed up as the fact that this film is so brutal and gratuitous it almost makes the Saw and Hostel films look like a Pixar film. This is not the kind of film that Schwarzenegger made back in the day with such films as Kindergarten Cop or Last Action Hero. This is also not an attempt at a revival of that type of film like last year's The Last Stand was. This is a film that literally features intestines being show on screen. I can't say that this is a good film or even one I really enjoyed. However, it does have an oddly charming audacity to it.

                                            The film stars Schwarzenegger as DEA agent John 'Breacher' Warton, who upon robbing a safe house with his group of rag tag undercover agents, gets taken off the job when the money they stole mysteriously goes missing. However, he must take back his position as the leader of these low life agents to capture a mysterious figure who is killing them one by one. He must also get help from Caroline (Olivia Williams), a by the books investigator.

                                           This is the type of film where the audience can literally smell the sleaze oozing out of the screen and into the theater. There is no character in this film that any sane person can actually call likable. Every character is either a scumbag, a deceitful maniac, an embezzle but most are all three. However, it's refreshing to see Schwarzenegger getting down and dirty and the supporting cast including Sam Worthington, Mireille Enos, Terence Howard and Harold Perrineau are all believably grimy in a way that works for the film.

                                          However, the film starts to slow down significantly in the second half and the mystery lags as the already predictable reveal starts to become more and more obvious. Also...there is a final scene involving John that really makes no sense and did not to be in the film at all. This is also the type of film that's impossible to watch without losing a lot of brain cells. I even feel as if I'm getting stupider by the minute sitting here typing about this film so I'm going to have to wrap it up soon.

                                         Sabotage is really, really, really, really, indescribably bad. However, there's also a hint of potential among all the incredible tediousness and ludicrous action. I can't in all good conscious recommend ever watching this film but it has some odd potential going on. As a typical action film, this is one of the worst. As a Schwarzenegger action film, however, this is nothing to sneeze at.
(1 and 1/2 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated R for strong bloody violence, pervasive language, some sexuality/nudity and drug use)