Inherent Vice Review

The MacGuffin is the MacGuffin (maybe)---Joaquin Phoenix as a drugged out detective tracking down his ex-girlfriend in Inherent Vice
                                People familiar with world renowned film critic Gene Siskel will probably always remember his test of "Is this film as interesting as a documentary of the same actors having lunch?". This test is particularly worth mentioning in a review of Paul Thomas Anderson's comedy (?) Inherent Vice, a deadly dull and thoroughly unpleasant film that uses the idea of confusing the audience to no end as an excuse for bad screenwriting. Sure, it's based on a book by infamous/praised author Thomas Pynchon but Anderson's adaptation does it no favors by being way too faithful to the original material. If it's not meant to be turned into a film, it shouldn't even be attempted--simple as that. It's also weird to know that this is supposed to be a stoner comedy a la The Big Lebowski (The Coen Brothers could easily win in a court of law against Anderson over plagiarism for the style he uses here) but feels like a chore to sit through. Stoner comedies can be many things---painful to sit through should not be one of them.

                                  The film follows Doc (Joaquin Phoenix,) a drugged out detective whose presence feels like The Dude meets Phillip Marlowe, which may sound like a compliment but only serves to remind the audience how much better both The Big Lebowski and The Long Goodbye are. He gets a visit from Shasta (Katherine Waterson,) an ex-girlfriend of his who is involved in a plot involving an affair, a wealthy man (Eric Roberts) and a mental institution. She asks him to help and Doc reluctantly says yes. Before long, Shasta is gone and Doc enlists the help of Bigfoot (Josh Brolin, getting the only two grins in the film,) a hot headed detective with dreams of becoming an actor and Sauncho (Benicio Del Toro,) a lawyer with an uncanny knack for getting people out of things. The plot also involves a missing man who has joined a cult (Owen Wilson,) a sketchy nightclub with an employee (Hong Chau) who helps Doc and a crazy dentist (Martin Short.)

                                 The whole not making sense and throwing curve balls every few seconds at the audience thing may have worked had Anderson done anything to insert any life into the picture. However, he constantly seems content on just letting the cameras roll and watching the actors work. With a cast this great, that seems like a good method but they don't seem to have any clue what to do with the script they just read. There are many moments in which everyone seems to just be trying to say the lines fed to them. This is especially disappointing since everyone gives an excellent performance in theory. For such thinly drawn and one note characters, the actors work really hard to make something out of them but they all end up being dragged down by the pretentious and genuinely inept script. Short, an incredibly talented comic, especially ends up getting stuck with a scene that feels like the random thoughts of a five year old.

                                      Phoenix and Brolin try as hard as possible and I can safely say they're good in the film even if the screenplay doesn't let most people in the audience see that. However, Inherent Vice is an unfunny so-called comedy that commits its biggest sin by being extremely boring. Writer-director Anderson is obviously more than competent at making a film. However, this way too long two and a half hour disaster is not the way to prove it.
(1 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated R for drug use throughout, sexual content, graphic nudity, language and some violence)

                             

We'll Never Have Paris Review

Well, it could be worse---Simon Helberg as a man encouraged by himself and his wealthy buddy (Zachary Quinto) to chase down the one that got away in We'll Never Have Paris
                   The opening title of We'll Never Have Paris claims that the film is "unfortunately based on a true story." This is ironic since every moment of this comedy rings completely false. This is not to say there isn't a good film here. In fact, I enjoyed watching this story of a man's life slowly crumbling to pieces with awful decision after awful decision adding to the doom. However, considering that this is the passion project of Simon Helberg, a very talented man who is probably best known for his supporting role as awkward scientist Howard on "The Big Bang Theory," it seems to be lacking any sort of depth or reason. Helberg has said in numerous interviews that this was based on his real life story. The film is co-directed and co-produced by his wife, Jocelyn Towne but neither person seems to have any real emotional attachment to the story. Once again, however, I must say that this film did entertain me, which may just be enough to forgive most of its flaws.

                    The film follows Quinn (Helberg,) a man who has been with only one woman in his life--Devon (Melanie Lynskey,) a sweet and sympathetic professor. Upon being told by his co-worker Kelsey (Maggie Grace) that she's in love with him, he ditches the former in an attempt to make it work with the latter. However, he discovers Kelsey is too bubbly and controlling for his taste. Encouraged by his overly wealthy best friend, Jameson (Zachary Quinto in a scene stealing role,) he flies out to Paris to make things right with Devon.

                      Helberg is both the best and worst thing about this film. He wrote it, co-directed it and stars in it so everything is up to him. While he's extremely good in the lead (this is a representation of him back in the day, however,) Quinn is such a self-centered jerk that it's simultaneously enjoyable and completely grating to watch him. Nothing about this character can be described as charming and yet Helberg makes it work pretty well. Lynskey is good and allows the script to make her character both a victim and the main cause of Quinn's decision. There's a great scene where Quinn finally decides to confront Devon about breaking off their relationship. Devon is portrayed as being cold and rudely curt in this scene and yet Lynskey (and the script) allow the audience to sympathize with the fact that her boyfriend is a constantly displeased and egotistical jerk. Quinto is the best thing in the film, hilariously playing a man who has been consumed by his own good fortune. However, he, Alfred Molina, Judith Light and Jason Ritter all are given nothing at all to do.
                 
                     For better and for worse, We'll Never Have Paris reminded me of an old Woody Allen comedy. Close your eyes, just listen to Helberg and you picture Allen's neurotic man act. This is a well made film about a man whose unlikable instincts get in the way of a viewing experience that is fully satisfying.
(3 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated R for sexual content and language)

Mortdecai Review

Detached mustache----Johnny Depp as a goofy art expert hired to find a stolen Goya painting in Mortdecai
                         If you've ever seen a group of people having fun and have not been able to join in, you'll know my feeling while watching the caper comedy (which is being generous) Mortdecai. The cast obviously had a good time making it but it's so boring for the audience to sit through. This is a desperately unfunny, constantly grating attempt at  a more adult oriented version of The Pink Panther. While the idea of making this type of humor solely for adults is refreshing, it's simply unbearable here and that takes away any praise I can give the film for that idea. It is also necessary to note that the idea of being aimed only at adults lost a lot of points from me when I found out that Mortdecai may be the most tame R rated film ever made. This is made all the more sad by the fact that there is immense talent both in front of and behind the camera. With that being said, the most notably horrible thing about this film is the performance of Johnny Depp, who used to be a great actor (check out Ed Wood, Donnie Brasco, From Hell, What's Eating Gilbert Grape, The Ninth Gate and Dead Man for some excellent examples) but has recently been phoning it in big time. Here, he gives the most pathetic and lazy performance of his long career. The man owns his own private island on the Bahamas so I'm sure he doesn't feel the need to try at all anymore. However, looking at his career prior to the last fifteen years or so makes me sad because he obviously has talent.

                           The film follows Charlie Mortdecai (Depp,) an expert in the arts who loves his newly grown mustache (if you find his obsession with his facial hair funny, you'll be happy to know there are about 2000 jokes about just that.) Along with his sidekick, Jock Strapp (ho, ho) (Paul Bettany,) he gets hired by uptight agent Martland (Ewan McGregor) to locate a recently stolen Goya painting. By his side, Charlie has his trophy wife, Johanna (Gywenth Paltrow) who hates the addition to his upper lip and has a gag reflex about it, which causes Mortdecai's sympathetic gag reflex to go off. (This is yet another joke that is dead in the water the first time it's told but somehow gets told 1000 more times.)

                             What feels most desperate in this film is the amount of times it goes for a joke but then peters out right before it tells said joke. This whole endeavor feels like reading a book of anti-jokes. One of the most famous anti-jokes is "what did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile?..Get in the car."  That's a good idea of what this film considers a joke. Behind the camera is director David Koepp, who previously directed Stir of Echoes, Secret Window, Premium Rush, Ghost Town and The Trigger Effect, all films I loved and find criminally overlooked. Koepp also wrote some really good films such as The Paper, Apartment Zero, Carlito's Way, Death Becomes Her and Bad Influence. I can't even blame Koepp for his directing..this is obviously not the kind of film that he excels in.

                                However, writer Eric Aronson, whose only other project was the 2001 Lance Bass-Joey Fatone disaster On The Line (that should tell you something about this man's ability to write anything) is very much at blame. The script is based on one of a series of mildly successful books by Kyril Bonfiglioli but Aronson does it no favors. While I have never read any of the books, Aronson adds so much awkward, out of place humor into the mix as well as too many potential bad guys. A lot of the mystery is who the villain(s) actually are but by the time that the tenth potential bad guy rolls in 30 minutes in, I lost interest in figuring out anything about who stole the painting. Another weak aspect of this mystery is that not a single one of the potential villain(s)' motivations make any sense. By making this a flaw, Aronson has completely thrown out any legitimacy to the mystery.

                               Depp is still the most annoying thing here. Every time he opened his mouth, I wanted to slap him across the face. This is not helped by the fact that unnecessary narration by Charlie is used in the film. This is one of those films that breaks the golden rule of making a movie--show, don't tell. The few mild chuckles this film does get come from Bettany in an overly dedicated comedic performance as Charlie's overly dedicated butler (or man servant as the script thinks it's hilarious to call him.) He's the only hint in this film of anyone trying at all to score a laugh. This is one of the most disappointing wastes of talent I can ever remember.
(1/2 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated R for some language and sexual material)

Taken 3 Review

Here I go again on my own, going down the only road I've ever known---Liam Neeson as a man on the run and framed for murder in Taken 3
                                                      Taken 3 is an alarming, depressing  experience, an action film with two great actors who seem to have given up all hope on finding decent work in Hollywood. It's sad that there are no great roles for women over 40 unless your last name is Bullock, Streep, Moore or Roberts but men have no excuse. Ever since the first Taken became a surprise hit back in 2008, Liam Neeson has been in an abundance of action films where he plays some kind of bad ass whose hands are his guns. I have admittedly mostly enjoyed this side of Neeson. Even the largely hated Taken 2 was a fun (albeit unbelievably stupid) film in my opinion.

                                                      Now comes a film that can't even muster up the courage to admit that it's a complete rip off of 1993's The Fugitive (a better film in every way possible.) Neeson once again returns as Bryan Mills who has run out of things to have taken from him. This time, his ex-wife (Famke Janssen)'s life gets taken. Framed for the murder, Bryan must go on the run and dodge a tough agent (Forest Whitaker) who invests more time in the meaning of  a bagel than most people invest in, well, anything.

                                                        If this sounds hilariously stupid, it's not. This is just an overly dull and typical action film that is ruined largely by Olivier Megaton's horrible directing. There are only about three shots in which the camera stays still on the shot for more than two seconds. The film is so disgusting to look at that it gave me the effect that a bad 3D film has on my eyes pumped up to a thousand.

                                                         The other big problem are Neeson and Whitaker. These men are terrific actors. They both have the ability to make anything believable because of how they sell it. Here, however, they are stuck with a script that gives them absolutely no opportunity to do so. The few times they get a chance to interact are the only few fun moments in the entire film. Neeson is doing the exact same thing he's been doing for years which would be alright if the script allowed him to just let loose. Meanwhile, Whitaker is playing the exact same character he played in The Last Stand (haven't heard that title in a while, have you?). Maggie Grace is also an actress that shows a lot of talent in her roles but her return as Bryan's daughter is simply so she can be a plot device.

                                                        Still, the most heartbreaking thing about this film is thinking about how much better all these actors are than this. One of the most recent reminders of that is A Walk Among The Tombstones, an excellent thriller from last year with Neeson as a former cop who now does revenge plots on the low. That film was more of a psychological thriller than a slam-bang action thriller and Neeson was terrific in it even though he barely fought anyone. Look at Whitaker as well, starring in Lee Daniels' The Butler recently and showing extreme talent by making a potentially one note character shine in the Christmas musical Black Nativity. 

                                                          Taken 3 is a most excruciating watch. It's sad to watch such talented people stoop to such epic lows. This is an action film only for people who want to take a nap in an air conditioned auditorium.
(1/2 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated PG-13 for intense sequences of violence and action, and for brief strong language)

Top 10 Films Of 2014!!!!!!!!!!!!!

        Here they are---those films that have most stuck with me and have managed to crack my top 10 list. These are those 2014 films that made me love going to the cinema and seeing the film's respective filmmakers at work with googly eyes. Please note that films such as A Most Violent Year, American Sniper, Still Alice and Inherent Vice I have yet to see so these are my top 10 of what I have seen so far. Also note that this is my personal list and thus my #2 or #3 may be something you personally don't enjoy but those are because these are my picks. Some (or a lot of) films that I loved that just missed are Cold In July, Locke, The Lego Movie, The Guest, The Babadook, Big Hero 6, The Imitation Game, 22 Jump Street, Chef, Love Is Strange, Snowpiercer, The Raid 2, They Came Together, Begin Again, Neighbors, Selma, The Theory Of Everything, Gone Girl, Wild, Unbroken, Guardians of the Galaxy, Fury, Foxcatcher, Beyond The Lights, The One I Love, John Wick, Force Majeure and The Grand Seduction. What a great year when all of those films couldn't make their way into my top 10! However, I do see around 300 films  a year in the theater so even making my top 30 is high praise. So I will finally get into these wonderful pieces of art without further ado.
(10) Whiplash

               With a menacing, lifetime performance from the always reliable JK Simmons and an amazing cast including Miles Teller, Paul Reiser and Melissa Benoist, Whiplash shows just how great it is when a film with a seemingly simple concept is made into a balls to the wall, intense drama that often becomes a thriller. This is truly one of the most engrossing films of 2014. However, it is only number 10 because it was such a great year.
(9) The Double

                   Richard Ayoade of the hilarious British sitcom "The IT Crowd" directs his second feature, The Double about two completely different men (Jesse Eisenberg, perfectly playing both roles) who could not be more different personality wise but could not be more similar looks wise. This is a film that has cult status written all over it and something that should be watched by all up and coming filmmakers on how to do everything right when it comes to writing, directing and acting. Visually stunning and entertaining every second of the way, this is as perfect a dark comedy as they come.
(8) Enemy

                   Another film about two men (Jake Gyllenhaal, amazing as ever in both roles) who couldn't be more different with personality but are eerily similar with looks, the excellent director Denis Villeneuve (Prisoners, Incendies) takes on a significantly darker and more confusing but slightly more successful film. This gritty and downright dirty drama angered  a lot of people for both its bizarre subtext and shocking twist but it is a fascinating piece of film making that is a prime example of why going to the cinema is still a very rewarding experience.
(7) The Grand Budapest Hotel

                   With a pitch perfect performance by Ralph Fiennes (very worthy of an Oscar nomination here) and laughs galore, Wes Anderson's crazy comedy The Grand Budapest Hotel is his most bizarre yet but also his funniest and by far his most visually stunning. This is a film for anyone who truly loves film as an art form. The supporting cast including all of Anderson's regulars along with Saorise Ronan, Mathieu Almaric and newcomer Tony Revolori as an eager lobby boy are all fantastic as well.
(6) Nightcrawler

                Calling Jake Gyllenhaal's performance as a mentally disturbed man who shoots crime scenes for the news in this completely engaging thriller amazing would be doing the man a disservice. He completely transforms into the character he is asked to play and never for a second did I realize I was watching someone act. Gyllenhaal completely convinced me that he WAS this insane cameraman. This film proves why he is deservedly everywhere nowadays.
(5) Blue Ruin

                An absolutely astonishing film from long time friends Macon Blair (the star, giving an outstanding performance) and Jeremy Saulnier, Blue Ruin was sadly seen by only a handful of people when it got a theatrical release. This is a film that will no doubt find a huge audience on home video and be hailed as a "legendary cult film" in a few years time. This is a revenge thriller that brilliantly satirizes the very thing it is. This is especially impressive because (A) it hilariously satirizes it without ever making the audience feel as if it's forced and (B) it manages to work as both a dark comedy and a gritty revenge film. This is a film that should be seen by anyone who wants to see how great a film made with a low budget and little resources can truly be.
(4) Pride

                           Forget the generic title---Pride is the most feel good film I saw all year. With a wonderful young lead cast including George MacKay, Ben Schnetzer and Andrew Scott among others and a fantastic older supporting cast including Bill Nighy, Imelda Staunton, Dominic West and Paddy Considine, this is a hilarious, inspiring and heart wrenching film about doing what your heart tells you is right. Sadly, Nighy will probably not get a Best Supporting Actor Oscar nomination for his brilliantly underplayed performance as a local man who's sweet and gentle but not very articulate and therefore not able to help as much as he might like. Watching this film is an absolutely delightful experience that should be had by all.
(3) Birdman (Or The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)

                               Michael Keaton knocks it out of the park with this performance as a formerly thriving actor who's trying to get his life back on track by directing and starring in his own play. Along the way, he has to deal with a talented but obnoxious and abrasive co-star (Edward Norton,) his critical daughter (Emma Stone) and wife (Amy Ryan) and the voice of his superhero alter ego that just won't leave him alone among other things. This comedy/drama is made all the more poignant and interesting by the fact that it is seemingly a semi-autobiographical tale of both Keaton and Norton's real lives. The film is also shot in one long take, which adds to the cleverness and intimacy of the production.
(2) Boyhood

                              A beautiful, astonishing and universally relate-able film shot over 12 years by director Richard Linklater and using the same actors, seeing this masterpiece is one of the most endearing experiences I've ever had at the cinema. Ellar Coltrane, a newcomer and the star of this film, has a very bright future ahead of him in Hollywood. He gives one of the best performances I have ever seen as a guy who grows up and sees the world around him through a unique lens. Boyhood is made all the better by the fact that it shows a pile of seemingly insignificant events and constructs them together to make the audience realize just how lucky each and every one of us are to be alive in this second. Linklater took a chance with this production and it paid off big time.
(1) Life Itself

                                       You can call me a biased man for putting a documentary about the man who got me into film in the first place as my favorite film of 2014. However, if this is not the most beautiful film I have ever seen, I don't know what is. The magic of this film is both how director Steve James let the story be what Roger Ebert wanted and how it's an uplifting and spellbinding documentary even for people who couldn't care less about Ebert or even film as an art form. James wonderfully tells Ebert's life tales not as simply about a man and his passion for film but as a largely universal tale of chasing one's passions and doing what matters to one's inner self. Although the MPAA shamefully slapped this film with an R rating, this documentary should no doubt be shown to high school and middle school students around the world as an inspiration to work hard and succeed in doing what you want with your life. I'll be hard pressed to find any film as moving, powerful or just plain amazing to me as this one in quite some time.

                                     There they are....the films that made my 2014 film going year a bright one. Here's hoping that 2015 turns out films that are equally as great and in even larger quantities.