Elsa & Fred Review

Love at last sight----Shirley MacLaine and Christopher Plummer as aging neighbors who fall in love in Elsa & Fred
                                 Elsa & Fred is a syrupy, cutesy comedy bolstered by people who clearly know what they're doing. I'm not exactly rocking anyone's world by stating that Shirley MacLaine and Christopher Plummer are excellent, legendary actors and they make not so solid material work brilliantly. It's that rarest and most delightful of films that is completely saved by the performances. Both Oscar winners, these two have no trouble carrying this film all the way through and making it one of the best surprises in recent memory.

                                  Plummer plays Fred, a bitter old man who sulks in bed about his recently deceased wife much to the chagrin of his daughter (Marcia Gay Harden) and her husband (Chris Noth,) who have even hired a caretaker (Erika Alexander) to make sure that he is doing everything he needs to. When he moves in across the hall from Elsa (MacLaine,) an equally bitter senior citizen whose son (Scott Bakula) only means to help but only seems to make things worse, they find a connection after a disastrous night in the kitchen for Fred. Thing is Fred has already experienced a film romance while Elsa has always wanted to know what that feels like. Soon enough, Fred is intent on giving Elsa that feeling but problems arise that prevent him from going through with it.


                                 Instantly, Plummer and MacLaine find sparkling, palpable chemistry with one another. These are two actors who love their craft and do it so well that the audience never once sees through them. There's nothing quite as enjoyable as watching two incredible pros build an on screen relationship with one another. The other trick that Plummer and MacLaine miraculously pull is not making their characters bland archetypes. These are two complex people with great depth and meaning to them. Both are bombarded by their offspring about how they need to just take it is. As much as both seem to appreciate their intentions, they want to live the remaining parts of their lives as they please. This is certainly not an uncommon idea in real life and director Michael Radford (who co-wrote the script with Anna Pavignano) shows both sides of the coin.

                               There is also a wonderfully intimate feeling this film uses. As Elsa and Fred fall in love, the viewer feels right there with them, which makes how likable they are shine through even more. The audience realizes just how wonderful being in the presence of these two would be. They are flawed people to be sure but also significantly more full of life and charisma than most people who are half or even a third their age. Now I'm not saying that this is a perfect film. It is too precious and has too much of a soft heart in certain spots and even at 95 minutes, there is some lagging as the inevitable "break up, forgiveness" aspect comes into play. What makes them break it off temporarily is only in the film because it's needed. There is no sense to anything that makes them not want to see one another. Watching the film, it seems to be reasonable at first sight but it's so much of a plot point and not an actual event that it took me out of the film. However, the wonderful end scenes between Elsa and Fred as well as the downright heartbreaking final scene are all enough to overcome its flaws.

                              Plummer and MacLaine shine with a great supporting cast in Harden, Noth and Bakula playing their parts with more sparkle than imaginable. This is far from a perfect film but it is a film with near perfect performances that elevate my rating of the film to very, very good and make it so that I think anyone can thoroughly enjoy this film.
(4 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated PG-13 for brief strong language)

Fifty Shades Of Grey Review

Kinky kinks---Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson as two people engaging in a purely carnal relationship in Fifty Shades Of Grey
                                    Here it is---the first film I literally needed to take a shower directly after seeing. Fifty Shades Of Grey also gets the highest of dishonors---being the most genuinely unpleasant film I have ever sat through in my decade and a half of watching movies obsessively. This is a disgusting, painful, grotesque, labored, tedious, cruel "film" that has not an ounce of humanity to it. How does something like this get green lit when there are genuinely talented filmmakers with good films getting denied into independent film festivals? I have a policy to always (and I mean always) stick it out to the bitter end when it comes to film. I regret having that policy sitting through such an extravagantly gross watch. I know making a film is a long and difficult (this film doesn't even deserve a pun like "long and hard') process but why not give some damn effort in that case? I understand everyone involved in the making of this film was doing their jobs and in theory I shouldn't attack them but everyone who even visited the set of this crap should be ashamed of themselves.

                                     I usually write a plot synopsis but taking the time to try and find a story here would be giving this garbage much more credit than it deserves. The closest thing to a plot that I can come up with is that Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson play two people with absolutely no chemistry (in fact, they have so little chemistry that on a scale of 1 to 10, their chemistry ranks at a -10,000) who have sex a couple of times and babel in between those times.

                                        The big selling point of this film is the sex. To that I say "phony!!!!!" The sex is non-existent for most of the film and when it does happen, Anastasia (Johnson) is so clearly not into it that the film ends up feeling like a found footage rape.

                                         That brings me to my other big problem---the misogyny. For a film directed and written by women (Sam Taylor Johnson and Kelly Marcel, from EL James's novel, respectively,) this is an incredibly misogynistic film. I would go so far as to say this is the most hateful film I have ever seen when it comes to opinions toward women. The film's message reads "if you're an adult female, the only way to be happy is to be a sex slave." What  a positive message for females to spread to other females! This is especially depressing since screenwriter Marcel co-wrote 2013's wonderful Saving Mr. Banks, which had an incredibly strong female character in Emma Thompson. Oh how she (Marcel) has fallen.

                                           I'm not going to waste anymore time writing about this film. All you need to know is Dornan and Johnson are awful, the film is abysmal and the message is grossly offensive, even from a male perspective. I have never read James's novels but if they're even 1% as mind numbing as the piece of trash that has come from the first one, I don't know how they could have been the phenomenon they were. I beg of anyone anywhere reading this review--spend your two plus hours doing something more productive, like getting dental surgery. Also, if you're planning on spending money on this film---throw your cash down the sewer instead. At least then a rat might get some nutrition out of it and thus it would have been way more justifiably spent.
(0 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated R for strong sexual content including dialogue, some unusual behavior and graphic nudity, and for language)