Bitter Harvest Review

Starving for something----Max Irons as a young man who falls in love and fights again Stalin's rule in Bitter Harvest
                 I knew I was in trouble when five minutes into Bitter Harvest, about the mass starvation of many innocent citizens, I thought "at least it looks like a movie." This is a case of an amazing, powerful story being turned into mush by a script so poorly constructed and director so incompetent that it often borders on parody. The appearance of such actors as Barry Pepper and Terrence Stamp, who seem to be in that part of their career where they will take on literally any project, does not help.

                   The film follows Yuri (Max Irons,) a young gent who falls for Natalka (Samantha Barks) amidst the powerful rule of Joseph Stalin (Gary Oliver, in a performance that recalls Jerry Haleva's impersonation of Saddam Hussein in Hot Shots Part Deux.) When Stalin's reign falls into Yuri's beloved country of Yugoslavia, he takes it upon himself to stop this. Meanwhile, many innocent citizens are being deprived of any food, which really happened but never mind that---it's nothing compared to the bland, lifeless chemistry between Irons and Barks as they play out a love story so dull that those who criticized the Twilight films should take a good, hard look at what no chemistry REALLY looks like.

                     Irons can be a decent actor given the right material. Alas, Bitter Harvest provides him with absolutely nothing worthwhile. Meanwhile, Pepper and Stamp, as Yuri's father and grandfather, get to sport haircuts so bad they make Max Landis's rat heap look amazing in comparison. The slight streak on top, surrounded by a big balding spot, is hideous. Pepper and Stamp, talented actors that they are, can't overcome the awfulness of those haircuts or the way their characters are written. These barely feel like people, which makes it even less impactful when (SPOILER) Yaroslav (Pepper) unexpectedly dies in the first act.

                      The film is directed and co-written by George Mendeluk, who did the 80's comedies Doin' Time and Meatballs III, neither of which are exactly great resume boosters and has gone on to be a connoisseur of mediocre Hallmark holiday films. This perhaps explains why the film looks  as if it belongs on basic cable at 3 AM. That does not explain, however, how Mendeluk and Richard Bachynsky Hoover could screw up the screenplay so bad. Stalin is little more than a cartoon character while everyone else barely registers, if at all. This story should have inherently been powerful, exciting and sad. With the people they had at the helm, however, you'd be better off watching The History Channel for your lessons, even if "Ice Road Truckers" is on.
(1/2 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated R for violence and disturbing images)

                     

Ten Worst Films Of 2016!!!!

Arguably, having to sit through these films was not the worst thing to happen to me in 2016. However, this was a truly dreadful year for film in a lot of ways. Films that didn't even make the cut include Shut In, Warcraft, American Pastoral, Masterminds and Blair Witch among others. The only reason there aren't more dishonorable mentions is because I took  a bit back for myself this year. I managed to skip Allegiant, Independence Day Resurgence and Alice Through The Looking Glass among others. So without further ado, here are the worst of the worst of 2016.

(10) Man Down

Doing a PTSD war drama is admittedly a good and well intentioned idea and casting Shia LaBeouf as the lead was a surprisingly good choice. However, Man Down was lame and boring in more ways than I could count. It's not as cynical as most on this list, which is why it's only at 10 but it was too dull not to put on.

(9) The Choice

I have defended Nicholas Sparks adaptations time and time again but The Choice bored me to tears. That's saying something when there's both Alexandra Daddario and Teresa Palmer to look at on screen.

(8) London Has Fallen

The most morally reprehensible film of the year, London Has Fallen should have never been made and I'm already done talking about this despicable piece of trash.

(7) The Boy

One of many pathetic (but not the most) attempts at horror from this year, The Boy bored me to tears. That's saying something when there's Lauren Cohen to look at on screen.

(6) Ben Hur

Upon leaving the theater after seeing this disaster, I told a buddy of mine that it was barely even a movie. I stick by that. This is a sad attempt to remake an all-time classic that was itself a remake of an all-time classic and it deservedly flopped hard.

(5) Bad Santa 2 

The first Bad Santa is a brilliant Christmas comedy but its sequel is a lazy film that tries way too hard to be as filthy as possible. If there were even 2 or 3 laughs in it, I would be willing to forgive it more. However, I think I let out a soft chuckle once and that was just because I was so desperate to find something remotely funny.

(4) Nerve

I'll give Nerve this---it has a great concept. Perhaps this makes it even more disappointing when the film is simply boring and awkward and goes absolutely nowhere with its idea.

(3) Swiss Army Man

The fact that the senior citizens filled theater I saw Swiss Army Man included people laughing genuinely concerned me for the fate of humanity. Perhaps the fact that people, even older ones, would like this disgusting, puerile, unbearable comedy explains why we have the president-elect that we do.

(2) The Neon Demon

I've always found Nicolas Winding Refn to be a pretentious filmmaker who is all style and no substance. If ever there was a film to prove that, it would be The Neon Demon. This is an unbelievably pretentious, ugly, mean spirited pile of trash with not a single worthwhile moment in it. It made no money in its opening weekend (in wide release, mind you,) proving that sometimes moviegoers are smart enough to know when to stay away.

And the worst film of 2016 is......

(1) The Forest

The Forest takes real life tragedy and turns it into a cheap, boring horror film. This makes the film not only terrible but incredibly offensive. It also doesn't help that leads Natalie Dormer and Taylor Kitsch give two of the worst, most lifeless performances I have ever had the displeasure of seeing. Don't even get me started on the ending, too. What a massive heap of junk this film is. Everyone involved in the making of it should be ashamed of themselves!

Silence Review

A mission and a prayer----Andrew Garfield as a priest who goes looking for his mentor (Liam Neeson) in Silence
                   Silence is an incredibly well directed, excellently acted, beautiful looking film. So, why then, did I find it such a slog to sit through? I don't think I have ever turned from excited to see a movie to antsy for it to be over so quickly. I doubt it's the fact that I, as an atheist, had trouble buying into a film all about the power of faith. I have enjoyed films like this before, after all. Nor do I think that it is because this kind of story goes over my head. Rather, I think it is because of the way in which the film presents its ideas. It is way too long (this is coming from the one person who thought Martin Scorcese's last film, The Wolf of Wall Street was a perfect length) and ends up at a conclusion that could be seen coming from the very beginning.

                    The film stars Andrew Garfield and Adam Driver as Rodrigues and Garrpe, two priests who decide to travel to Japan after a Father (Ciaran Hinds) tell them that their mentor (Liam Neeson) has inexplicably given up all faith in God. Once in Japan, they encounter religious persecution that tests their willingness to God.

                     Scorcese and cinematographer Rodrigo Prieto shoot the film beautifully. Every shot is breathtaking and, even though the film is at least forty minutes too long, the shots themselves never feel wasted. As well, individual moments are undeniably riveting. The idea that these priests may ultimately have to accept God different from how they see him creates some fascinating moments. One moment in particular where Rodrigues yells at a group of people as they are getting ready to die is powerful.

                       However, the screenplay by Scorcese and Jay Cocks (based on a novel by Shusaka Endo) is fairly weak. It makes the same point over and over and over again and features far too many scenes of people getting tortured for their beliefs. Persecution is a powerful concept but the film goes too far in telling the audience that. In fact, the second half of the film is almost entirely Rodrigues and others getting tortured. Why not use some of that time to explore the reason why the Inoue (Issie Ogata) feels the need to make those who do not agree with him suffer? Some may argue no answer is more powerful. To that I would say that torture without context is meaningless.

                         Also, Garfield is out of place here. He's a great actor and his performance is never anything but well done. However, he looks too modern, too handsome, too neat to be playing a 17th century priest. Driver looks more the role, which is why it's so disappointing that his role is more of a supporting one.

                           I can not at all call Silence a bad film. It would be hard to find a film that is better looking and Scorcese continues to show that he has more energy than directors half his age behind the camera. However, by the time the film wraps up, the point has been made and it  was all too obvious all along what that is. Perhaps you should see Silence for yourself. I can't say that it wouldn't be right up your alley. I, however, found it mostly redundant and dull.
(2 and 1/2 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated R for some disturbing violent content.)

The Best Movies Of 2016!!!!

Here they are---the best films of 2016. These are the films that reminded me why I love going to the theater so much. For such a terrible year in so many ways, these films provided a great escape for me. Before I get into the meat of the list, here are a few honorable mentions----White Girl, Almost Christmas, Don't Think Twice, Sing Street, Arrival, Deadpool, Nocturnal Animals, American Honey, The Edge Of Seventeen and Best Worst Thing That Ever Could Have Happened.

(10) Midnight Special

An inventive, original science fiction drama that harkens back to the 1970's, Midnight Special is a blast from start to finish. It also has amazing performances all around and is directed with such flair by Jeff Nichols that you can't help but ask how he did it all.

(9) Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping

The funniest film I saw all year and quite possibly one of the funniest films I have seen period, Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping may feel like a series of "Saturday Night Live" sketches quickly glued together but it had me laughing out loud from start to finish. When 99.8% of the jokes in your film land, you know you've accomplished something.

(8) Moonlight

A powerful, immersive drama with a great storytelling structure, Moonlight hit me so emotionally that I just had to walk around for a bit thinking about it after I saw it. For a guy who sees 300+ films a year, that's an achievement worth bragging about.

(7) Born To Be Blue

Unlike its fellow jazz musician biopic, Miles Ahead, which was a total mess despite good intention, Born To Be Blue is an amazing, damn near perfect film about Chet Baker. Ethan Hawke gives a performance that is sure to be studied in acting classes for decades to come as Baker and the whole film is hypnotic as hell.

(6) Take Me To The River

Sadly under seen, Take Me To The River is not a fun film to watch. However, it is a powerful drama about how even your own family may be harboring dark secrets and what could happen if those secrets come out. I dare anyone to watch this film and not be gripped from start to finish.

(5) Manchester By The Sea

Speaking of emotional and powerful films about family, Manchester By The Sea is a drama about dealing with the loss of a beloved family member that works so well, it's impossible to imagine the film being made any better. If all is right with the world, Casey Affleck will win the Best Actor Oscar for his understated performance as Lee, a man who is completely stricken with grief while newcomer Lucas Hedges will at least get nominated for his equally strong performance as the nephew Lee must take care of.

(4) Other People 

Featuring incredible performances from Jesse Plemons and Molly Shannon, Other People is a riveting, devastating drama about a son and mother dealing with the hand they've been dealt. Written by "Saturday Night Live" writer Chris Kelly, the film also manages to find levity in the best of places. 

(3) In A Valley Of Violence

One of two incredibly badass films from this year (see #2 on my list for the other,) In A Valley Of Violence doesn't do anything new with its western premise but it lays the groundwork and builds around said groundwork so perfect, I dare call the film an amazing achievement. Director Ti West has always been one of my favorites and this film cements him as maybe the most natural at making cool, slick entertainment (sorry, Quentin Tarantino.)

(2) Hell Or High Water

The other incredibly badass film this year, Hell Or High Water features three performances that could all be nominated for Oscars. Jeff Bridges, Chris Pine and Ben Foster create three of the best characters from 2016 and the film as a whole is an unpredictable, incredibly entertaining, brilliantly old fashioned rollercoaster ride.

(1) Everybody Wants Some!!

Richard Linklater once again shows why he's the king of indie comedies. Featuring a cast of relative newcomers (Ryan Guzman from The Boy Next Door, Blake Jenner from Glee and Wyatt Russell from 22 Jump Street are the best known of the cast,) this is one awesome film. Linklater sets this comedy at the beginning of the 1980's as a baseball player (Blake Jenner) moves into college and pals around with his teammates. The film is mostly just teammates having conversations but oh how engrossing they are. Pitcher Willoughby (Russell) talks about chord progressions in song for 15 minutes and it may very well be the most engaging scene from the past five years. Everybody Wants Some!! opened in limited release around me. After catching a showing of it I had to travel an hour to see, I was quite literally itching to see it again once it expanded. If that isn't high praise, I don't know what is. 

Trash Fire Review

Tragedy redux------Adrian Grenier and Angela Trimbur as a couple going through a very weird crisis in Trash Fire
                      Richard Bates Jr's Trash Fire is just about the most screwed up romantic comedy you will ever see a film constantly subverting the expectations you have. From the first scene, which starts with Owen (Adrian Grenier) venting to his therapist and then ends with, well, see for yourself, you know this is no When Harry Met Sally or The Ugly Truth. This is a dark, disturbing film about people who are even more dark and disturbing. Somehow, though, Bates Jr is such a talented writer-director that he gets you to root for these miserably drawn characters.

                        The film (which Bates Jr has stated is only somewhat autobiographical,) follows Owen and girlfriend Isabel (Angela Trimbur,) who have had a very on again-off again relationship over the years but always manage to work it out. Owen's therapist (Sally Kirkland) isn't exactly helpful at trying to get them to solve their problems and things get weird when Owen reveals why he's been so detached all these years. All I'll say is that it involves his sister (AnnaLynne McCord) and grandmother (Fionulla Flanagan.) This is the kind of film that is much better not knowing what happens next because like I said, it is constantly going in directions you would never guess.

                            Grenier is amazing as Owen, taking a completely unlikable prick and turning him into someone you can't take your eyes off of. In the hands of a lesser actor, Owen would have had the audience running out of the theater. With Grenier, Owen is someone worth investing in and following. Trimbur provides a good foil to Owen through Isabel. She's likable only by standing next to Owen. Isabel is not any sort of a good person but you feel bad for her because she's stuck with such a dopey, cruel boyfriend.

                               As the sister and grandmother, McCord and Flanagan do an excellent job at doing what they need to. They take the way their characters are written and bring even more life to them, imbuing them with a sense of purpose and meaning that couldn't have been easy to find, seeing as these characters aren't exactly written as bright sunny people, either. Kirkland also provides some brief, but well earned comic relief.

                                Bates Jr has already proven himself to be a one of a kind filmmaker with Excision and Suburban Gothic and proves it again  here. This is an extremely stylish film but its style never sacrifices the substance. We are invested in these characters, believing who they are and wanting to see where their journeys take them. However, Bates Jr also shoots and writes the film with such flair that anyone the least bit interested in filmmaking will have a blast trying to pick out each subtle shot, shift in tone, character decision, ETC. Just like Quentin Tarantino before him, Bates Jr ends up laying out all the pieces for you by the end and it's fun to dissect how these things that you saw prior to the end were part of a bigger whole.

                                   Trash Fire may not be for everyone and it certainly will leave even the most uneasily shocked viewer with a sense of "what did I watch" but Bates Jr has written and directed a stylish, subversive, extremely well done horror film that should appeal to those looking for something a lot different.
(4 and 1/2 out of 5 Stars, The film is Rated R for some disturbing violence/behavior, strong sexuality, nudity and language.)

Masterminds Review

World's dumbest criminals?-----Kristen Wiig and Zach Galifinakis as security guards who decide to rob their company in Masterminds
                             If you enjoy the idea of Kate McKinnon farting on Zach Galifinakis or of Galifinakis pooping himself in a pool that then turns completely brown, you may enjoy Masterminds more than I. For me, I found it the sort of dumb comedy that think it's a whole lot smarter and funnier than it actually is. In fact, I found it sort of horrible. Not once did I laugh, not once did I find anything interesting and many times did I cringe at the sheer idea of this cast having to deliver the material this film provides them. Then again, the film is directed by Jared Hess, a man who has specialized in making films (Don Verdeen, Gentlemen Broncos, Nacho Libre) that seem specifically designed to annoy me over the years. This latest effort from him may be the final nail in the coffin but it's not for a lack of the cast trying. Throw writers Chris Bowman and Hubbel Palmer, director and story writer for the unbearable Sundance-y Humble Pie to take down what could have been a pretty funny script from the extremely talented Emily Spivey and you got yourself one huge, steaming mess of a so-called comedy.

                                 What's even more is the fact that this true life story could have made an interesting thriller or drama or...comedy but Hess, Bowman, Palmer and Spivey do absolutely nothing with it. The story follows David Ghantt (Galifinakis,) a vehicle driver and security personnel for Loomis-Fargo who lusts after his equally strange co-worker Kelly (Kristen Wiig) while being tortured by Jandice (McKinnon,) his creepy fiancee. When Kelly proposes to David that they rob Loomis-Fargo, an idea she comes up with courtesy of master thief Stephen (Owen Wilson, who's way too nice to convincingly play any sort of master criminal,) David immediately jumps on the chance and ends up having to flee to Mexico in one of those comedy disguises that makes you wonder who thought it was funny. If that's not bad enough, he has to change disguises again (ha, ha.)

                                      However, things get way too complicated and Stephen hires a hitman (Jason Sudekis, the one half-way decent part of the film) to take down David. This results in one of the most unpleasant films I have seen all year, one that gets the displeasure of hating its characters even more than another thoroughly unpleasant 2016 comedy, The Bronze. This movie asks the audience to root for David and Kelly while absolutely taking anything potentially likable about them and throwing it out the window. This makes the film not only a sad and offensive attempt at manipulating its audience but also a complete cop-out when it tries to pull one last desperate attempt at the end. Spoiler alert! This is when it shows what has happened to the real life people and tries to go "see...they're good, smart people" after having just gone "ha, ha, ha...look at how stupid these people are." Say what you will about something like Pain and Gain but at least it was consistent in its meanness. Masterminds is uneven in what it wants us to think, which just makes it uncomfortable to sit through.

                                             If I took the likes of Galifinakis, Wiig, Wilson, McKinnon, Leslie Jones, Jon Daly (Jones and Daly play two FBI agents hot on David's trail,) Sudekis, Ken Marino and Mary Elizabeth Ellis, I could have made a significantly funnier film than Masterminds. It's hard to imagine someone screwing up this bad with such an incredible cast but leave it to Hess. He's been taking great casts and wasting them in these awful comedies for years now. It seems appropriate that a lot of these people are or were on Saturday Night Live and Spivey is a longtime SNL writer (she left last year after 14 years there) because all this film feels like is a really bad sketch stretched to an unbearable length.
(1/2 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated PG-13 for crude and sexual humor, some language and violence.)

Other People Review

Life as we know it-----Jesse Plemons as a struggling comedian who must come home to his dying mother (Molly Shannon) in Other People
                                   Chris Kelly's Other People is a brilliant film---a meditative comedy-drama that reminds everyone in the audience of why we go to the movies. This is what every film about a young man who must go home and deal with his dying family member should be. At times it's  a hoot before making you bawl your eyes out in an equally effective manner. This is helped by the fact that leads Jesse Plemons and Molly Shannon, as well as the wonderful supporting cast know how to anchor Kelly's terrific script. There is a realness to the whole production that makes this film all the more effective and relatable.

                                       The film stars Jesse Plemons as David, a struggling comedian who has recently broken up with his long time boyfriend Paul (Zach Woods) and has now found out that his mother, Joanne (Molly Shannon) has terminal cancer. He goes back home to his small town, where old family issues reignite and he pals around with Gabe (John Early, a total scene stealer,) an old high school friend. Among family problems are his caring father (Bradley Whitford,) who still has trouble accepting his son's life decision and his sisters (Madisen Beaty and Maude Apatow,) who resent David for leaving them to a certain degree.

                                          Plemons is terrific, especially considering that his character is a fairly emotionless person, so he has to imbue this guy with sympathy and heart without ever outright doing anything, save for a scene or two where his emotions get the best of him. As for Shannon, she must get an Oscar nomination this year. As someone who has never been her biggest fan, I can say she is absolutely brilliant here. Her role is as tough as Plemons' since her character wants absolutely no sympathy from anyone. She is fine with her disease because she is happy with the life she has lived thus far. Shannon has to make a sympathetic character out of one who doesn't want anyone's sympathy, a difficult task if there ever was one. One scene where she has to go back to her old school to pass on her teaching skills to her co-workers is especially powerful and is Shannon's ultimate Oscar clip moment. These two performances elevate what is already excellent writing and direction from Kelly, the head writer on "Saturday Night Live," which mysteriously got excellent for the last few years and now I can identify one of the reasons why.

                                          Kelly himself has stated this is a very personal story and it shows here. Every scene is grounded in complete realism. Even the wacky grandparents (June Squibb and Paul Dooley) feel like real people that exist somewhere in the world. Also, look out for the brilliant use of a song that I personally love.

                                          Comedy-dramas about a young guy who has to go back to his small town to face tragedy are a dime a dozen (Garden State, This Is Where I Leave You, etc) but Other People completely elevates this material, making it a film that everyone absolutely must see. Whether or not you have experienced this type of situation before, this film will be completely relatable while you are watching it and will only go up in your mind as you think about it.
(5 out of 5 Stars, The film is Not Rated.)