The 10 Worst Films Of 2011

I'd like to start with the worst list so, in case you get bored with my writing (which I truly hope you don't,) you can avoid these movies as much as possible. These films are on this list primarily because I had minimal to maximum hope and everywhere in between for all of them. This is also why films like Jack And Jill and The Twilight Saga Breaking Dawn Part 1 did not make the list. So without further ado..here are the 10 biggest stinkers of 2011..(10) Mr. Popper's Penguins-I think Jim Carrey can be a tremendously funny guy (just take Liar Liar or The Mask) and a really solid actor (take The Truman Show or Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind) and I like the supporting cast in this film including Carla Gugino and Phillip Baker Hall. Also, I read the best selling book on which this film was based upon over and over again as a kid and I still love the book to this day. With all this being said, I did not get the nostalgic funny film I wanted but rather a bunch of penguins pooping and Jim Carrey being Robin Williams annoying. This film is only at number 10 because I watched it with a big crowd and all the kids in the crowd seemed to enjoy it, but then again one of the kids in the crowd also picked his nose and ate it, so I don't know who this movie appeals to. (9) Killer Elite-I had high hopes for this one as it's a classic line up of actors-Jason Statham, Clive Owen and Robert De Niro. However, this film was not very good. This film proves that Statham was born to play the same role a thousand times, that Owen is not fit for a hardcore action film, and that De Niro will do anything for a paycheck now a days (see #7 for another example of De Niro's desperation).Killer Elite is a boring action film that goes nowhere with its plot, is way too long and wastes the talents of 3 excellent actors. Killer Elite is also a rather cliched action film, going everywhere you expect it to go, and nowhere else. This film is a perfect example of wasted talent. Sure, all the other films on this list waste their talented actors as well, but this is by far the most dull film of 2011 as well, which is why it's on this list.(8) I Don't Know How She Does It-Although this film, even before I saw it, had the most accurate title of any film this year due to the fact that I don't know how Sarah Jessica Parker gets to play the same character in every movie, I still thought this could be entertaining. A talented supporting cast including Kelsey Grammer, Greg Kinnear, Pierce Brosnan, and Seth Meyers was here to back Parker up. However, this film, even with that supporting cast was really bad. It reminded me of a bad relationship..you don't like the person you're dealing with, and you just want it to end. While I did not want to gouge my eyes out during this film, I did want to put earplugs in because of Sarah Jessica Parker's constant yapping about nothing. Also, all of the supporting cast is taking a real back seat to Parker, and get hardly any screen time, and when they do, they get tossed lame things to say. I Don't Know How She Does It is a film that is not made for anyone. It is a weird potpourri of chick flick antics, sitcom going ons, and humor that is presumably intended for men but doesn't work, and that is why it's on this list. (7) New Year's Eve-With too many plots to explain, this is the surprisingly 2nd Robert De Niro film to pop up on this not so prestigious list. New Year's Eve is a super waste of talent, with everyone from Jon Bon Jovi to Halle Berry to Josh Duhamel phoning it in and hoping that this will be their last desperate paycheck. Nothing's more depressing than seeing a whole slew of talented actors making a mess out of their careers, and a talented director like Garry Marshall supporting them. There are also a few surprise cameos from talented people that are just downright lame. New Year's Eve is a follow up to Valentine's Day which makes me wondering if Marshall will waste more talented faces in Memorial Day. (6) The First Movie-One of the most boring and messy films I've ever seen, this is a film that should be interesting and well made because it's about the magic of movies, something everyone loves. This film is 70 minutes of pure torture, with a wanna be Werner Herzog named Mark Cousins. I will confess, this film came out in 2009, but I did not see it until 2011 at a film festival, so I'm putting it on this list. I mention that I saw it at a film festival because every one of the 15 films I saw at this film festival got at least a little round of applause at the end, except for this film, proving how undeniably boring this film is. (5) Red Riding Hood-Red Riding Hood is a film that ruins a classic fairy tale by pulling Twilight into the mix. It is a film that tries to be something fresh and cool, but it just ends up being a typical film that also happens to ruin something great. Amanda Seyfried is horrible, as is the rest of the very talented cast. It is a film in which nothing happens and no demographic is appealed to. There is also a laughably bad scene in which they recite the "better to eat you with my dear" back and forth from the Little Red Riding Hood story. That point is when I said this is horrible, and almost left the theater. I actually would have had their not been only about 30 minutes left in the film. (4) Creature-Sid Haig is a creepy dude, and by that I mean Sid Haig is one of the creepiest actors I've ever seen. The fact that he was starring in Creature gave me hope. Just like my #3 pic, the star of the film was the only reason I wanted to see it. Creature, however, is a humilatingly awful film that tries for b-movie horror fun mixed with stupid teenagers horror fun, but does not get anywhere close to either. This film literally just sits in its own pile of filth hoping that some miracle will come along and improve it. That miracle sadly does not come along. While Sid Haig is enormously creepy most of the time, in this film he's laughably corny as is the rest of the cast. (3) Bucky Larson Born To Be A Star-I had barely any hope when I heard they were making yet another comedy about the porn industry. The only hope I had was in the talented cast, including the very funny Nick Swarsdon, the talented Stephen Dorff, and the adorable Christina Ricci. With that being said, this film is atrocious. This film, while supposedly trying to be a comedy, scores zero laughs. It is a lifeless film that no one should pay to see. There are no redeeming qualities to this film, which is why I say throwing your money down the drain is a significantly smarter idea then paying to see this film. Bucky Larson Born To Be A Star should be shipped off to the moon because no one here on earth should see this film. (2) The Tree Of Life-What do I say about a film so lifeless, so soulless, so unwatchable, so badly acted, so everything that makes a film terrible? I understand that a lot of people like, hell, even love this film, but I must ask why? The Tree Of Life is a film that goes on for two and a half hours and shows the creation of the world, as well as a boring family drama. While this film had a lot of potential, it missed the mark in every way possible. The Tree Of Life is badly acted by its talented cast, and bored the living hell out of me. In the theater in which I saw The Tree Of Life, a couple walked out an hour into the film, and I was jealous of them. When a film makes me want to walk out of the theater with other people, you know it's bad. (1) The Darkest Hour-Emile Hirsch and Olivia Thirbly star in this film, which should be a metaphor of the ultimate downfall of Hollywood. When two very talented young actors like these are in a film like this, it shows what movies have come to. The Darkest Hour is only about 80 minutes long, but it feels like a full day. It is god-awful in its acting, plot, execution, directing, and everything else. It is as boring of a film you can get while being completely over the top, and it is also as cliche a film as you can get while being shockingly bad. Everything about The Darkest Hour is horrible, and makes me want to vomit. The 3D, as well, is really bad in that you can't see what's going on in the film with the 3D. I did not see this film in 2D, so it might just be the film, but either way never see this film. It's not just the worst movie of 2011, but of 2000-2011.