Rock Of Ages is one of the worst films I have ever seen. I usually do not start off with such a huge statement in a review but I just had to get it off my chest. Director Adam Shankman and the whole cast and rest of the crew including writers Justin Theroux, Chris D'Arienzo, and Allan Loeb should be ashamed of themselves. Theroux wrote the hilarious Wanderlust from February of this year, and now him, along with the other people mentioned have ruined some of the greatest rock songs known to man. I have to give them credit, however. To ruin such great and beloved songs as Sister Christian, I Want To Know What Love Is and Pour Some Sugar On Me is quite honestly..impressive. It also takes some guts. Still..this movie is just awful.
The film stars two of the blandest performers known to man...Julianne Hough and Deigo Boneta. It figures because Hough came from Dancing With The Stars and Boneta is probably best known for being in five episodes of Pretty Little Liars. I have seen Hough on Dancing With The Stars. She is undeniably gorgeous and can burn up a dance floor like nobody's business but she can not act or sing. Also...the more well known supporting cast including but not limited to Paul Giamatti, Russell Brand, Bryan Cranston and Alec Baldwin are all wasted. These are talented people who are stuck in awful roles in which they have to belch out cringe-inducing retreads of classic songs.
Where Rock Of Ages succeeds is that it is funny. I mean this as not a compliment but an observation. By this I mean that if you ever have to sit through a film this awful...you can't help but laugh at how bad it is. There are no likable characters and all the plots are terrible and then forced to connect in one final group song.
Rock Of Ages will only be enjoyed by the most impressionable. To quote one song that was played in this film "in my life there's been heartache and pain." In watching this film...I have indeed experienced both of these things.
(0 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated PG-13 for sexual content, suggestive dancing, some heavy drinking and language)
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