Cosmopolis Review

  Total eclipse of the art-Robert Pattinson and Sarah Gadon in the new David Croneberg drama Cosmopolis
             Cosmopolis is definitely one of the weirder films I have seen this year. This is not to say that it is a bad thing. This is not to say that this is a good thing either. This film is both a blessing and a curse. It's kind of like wanting an I-Pad for your birthday and getting a Nook. By this I mean that there is still plenty to like but it could have been so much better.

             Robert Pattinson stars as Eric Packer-a billionaire playboy who is trying to get across town. Upon doing so he runs into an ensemble of wacky people (none of whom are in the film for any more than 10 minutes.) That is about all I got from the plot. Yes-I know people are going to tell me there's much more to the plot but the film itself is done in a very odd manner. It is done so oddly, in fact that you begin to wonder if director David Cronenberg was trying to make a drama or a comedy or even a mix of both. However...I can finally say Pattinson sells it in a role. He is actually very good here. As with Bel Ami...it did bother me that he's a jerk who can get any woman he wants but he actually has some life to him in this film-so it's fine here.

             The film veers off into weird places such as a scene involving a mentally unstable man who is played by one of my favorite actors. For the sake of some people not being aware of this surprise cameo...I will choose not to reveal who that person is. That scene comes in the last ten minutes and the film ends with that scene. It is a strange scene for sure.

              Also...the film is very uneven in its tone. It switches from funny to dark to just plain weird. It seems as if Cronenberg was trying to make a film that appealed to all genre lovers. In this-he succeeds to a certain degree. I can't say that Cosmopolis is a great film. It has mostly left my mind since I saw it a couple days back. However...Cronenberg has some cool stuff to offer in his newest exploration of humanity. I would say to see it at a matinee...you'll feel as if you paid just the right amount.
(3 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated R for some strong sexual content including graphic nudity, violence and language)

Red Hook Summer Review

   Oh lord-Clark Peters, Jules Brown and Toni Lysaith in Spike Lee's newest slice of life Red Hook Summer
                       Let me start this review by pointing out that Red Hook Summer was filmed in three weeks on  an incredibly low budget. Let me also point out that this does not excuse this film's execution. Spike Lee-one of the most influential filmmakers of all time has made quite possibly the most boring film by a great director. Yes-I remember Gus Van Sant's Psycho and 1941 by Steven Spielberg and I even recall David Lynch's Dune. It is far from the level of awfulness of the three I just mentioned have but at least those films have life. Psycho, 1941 and Dune at least had something in them..a scene or two of excitement. Red Hook Summer feels more like a lecture by a really boring professor who tries to hammer the idea into your head as hard as possible.

                      That is actually my biggest problem with the film. Lee gets way too preachy with the God babble only to turn to unneeded violence and a subplot that comes in halfway through the film that is not only cliche but appallingly done. By appallingly done I do not mean it was so badly done that I was appalled by the low quality of it (although it is very poorly done). By this I mean that it is done is such a way that you may have to hold back your lunch after seeing one scene in which they confirm that the subplot is accurate. Also..the two kid actors...Jules Brown as Flik and Toni Lysaith as Chazz are awful.  Apparently they went to the same junior high that Lee went to but that does not excuse them from having no energy whatsoever. As well...Flik and Chazz are both poorly written characters. They cause trouble for no reason multiple times in the film and in the end we're supposed to care about them, but we simply don't. In fact..there was no single character in this film that I could tolerate.

                       Furthermore...Red Hook Summer goes for the easy shots throughout. As I said...it turns violent at the end for no reason but then quickly throws on a sappy, obvious ending. Some of the film is shot via Flik's I-Pad 2. This really separates the audience from the film. Rather than giving us a fascinating look at these people as this technique could have and should have done....it just makes it so that we don't get enough of these characters.

                        The film is also entirely too long. At exactly two hours the film feels like it got its point across way too much by the end. The film also features some entirely too obvious gospel music choices from Lee. Finally...this feels like everyone other film by Lee except this one, unlike most of his is poorly made.

                        I can not say that I hated Red Hook Summer entirely but I can say it is a fairly pathetic attempt at some kind of observation-both moral and critical. Lee has made a bad film here. In fact..he's made his worst since Bamboozled. However...while this film is bad in many more ways than one...I can not say it is particularly dreadful. Sure it's boring but I respect how Lee made this film with so little and some of what he's trying to say. However....I can not recommend this out of the good of my heart because Lee made too many mistakes and never seemed to be able to get his feet off of the ground.
(1 and 1/2 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated R for brief violence, language and a disturbing situation)

Hit And Run Review

  Speed zone-Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell as a couple who are on the run in the new comedy Hit And Run
             Hit And Run takes an awful premise, a leading actor I am not usually a fan of and a potentially cutesy real life couple. Now...a huge confession....I really liked Hit And Run. Yes...this film is much better than a film with all these aspects have any right to be. It has many nice touches in fact. Shepard makes an appealing leading man, him and Bell work well together and the supporting cast including Tom Arnold, Bradley Cooper and Michael Rosenbaum are all fantastic.

             The film follows Charlie Bronson (yes...Charlie Bronson) (Shepard) and his girlfriend Annie (Bell). When Annie is forced to go to an interview in LA by her boss (Kristen Chenoweth)....Charlie decides to take her even though it's the last place he wants to go. When Annie's ex-boyfriend Gil (Rosenbaum) tells Charlie's nemesis Alex (Cooper) about his trip to LA....Alex tries to chase him down. All the while...Charlie's incompetent witness protection agent Randy (Arnold) is trying to help him out.

              Besides being very funny...the film has excellent car chases and a very nice romance. In other words...it has something for everyone. Hit And Run not only offers something for everyone but makes it so that action fans will most likely get into the romance and vice versa.

              There are flaws with the film...don't get me wrong. The film does slow down a bit towards the end and never adds up to much. However...Hit And Run has a good script, superb casting and surprisingly good direction. There are worst things you could see this weekend.
(3 and 1/2 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated R for pervasive language including sexual references, graphic nudity, some violence and drug content)

Compliance Review

Dial T for theft-Dreama Walker as a woman said to have stolen money by an unknown caller in Compliance

                   Compliance is the creepiest film-horror or non horror I have ever seen. It is a thrilling experience that picks you up and shakes you around from the first second and never lets go. This is mainly due to how the actors perform. Everyone in the film gives an Oscar-caliber performance. However...the stand out performance in the film is from its star..the incredibly beautiful and extremely talented Dreama Walker. You may have seen her on the ABC show Don't Trust The B---- In Apartment 23. That show is a tasteless, very funny comedy and Walker proves herself by stepping into a role that would be uncomfortable for most to do. If she doesn't end up with at the very least an Oscar nomination..then the Academy will have some explaining to do.

                     The film starts out with Becky (Walker)-a fast food employee who is just living her life day to day. When a mysterious man who claims to be Officer Daniels calls claiming that innocent Becky stole money...her boss, Sandra (Ann Dowd) immediately follows every direction. The truly disturbing thing about this situation is not that we-the audience do not know whether or not the caller is a real cop or not. The truly disturbing part is that the audience never knows what the caller's going to request next.

                      The caller requests some extremely weird stuff therefore making the film uncomfortable to watch at many points. This is not the film you should see if you want to have fun. You've got many movies out there for that purpose. I mean this in the nicest way possible. Compliance packs a punch that those "fun" films can not. It is a film that is not easy to watch but that is also impossible to take your eyes off of.

                       Did I like Compliance? Certainly not-I loved it. It is a truly unforgettable experiences that never peters out and leaves you biting your nails the whole way through. There is no other film like it out right now. So go see it if you want to see film making at its finest.

(4 and 1/2 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated R for language and sexual content/nudity) 

Dark Horse Review

       Welcome to the action figure house-Jordan Gelber and Selma Blair as a potential couple in Dark Horse
                  Dark Horse follows Abe (Jordan Gelber)...a socially awkward thirty-something who still lives with his parents (the lovely Mia Farrow and the always reliable Christopher Walken.) When Abe meets Miranda (Selma Blair) at a wedding...it's love at first sight (at least for Abe.) They are both pathetic people so it makes sense that one may fall in love with the other. The film is directed by Todd Solondz, who despite an excellent cast and solid direction is too weird for his own good.

                   Solondz has made two of my favorite films-Welcome To The Dollhouse and Happiness. Here..I started to wonder how long Solondz can do the pathetic loser story without being completely unoriginal. There is still some originality left in Dark Horse. This is mostly due to Walken who steals every scene he's in as a father who wants what's best for his son but doesn't know how to express it. The main problem with the film is Abe. He is such an unappealing, lonely man that you begin to wonder why we are watching him and more importantly..why we should care.

                     The film kind of resembles a male version of Welcome To The Dollhouse. We have the inattentive parents, the awkward person dealing with insecurities and the plain weirdness and loneliness of the character. There is also an overlong take on It's A Wonderful Life in which Abe is shown his life through other people's eyes.

                     Being my favorite actor...I was glad to see Walken get a good amount of screen time and I enjoyed seeing Farrow on the big screen again. However...Dark Horse is the same old song and dance from Solondz. Soon...I would like to see something much different from this fine director.
(2 and 1/2 out of 5 Stars, The film is Not Rated)

Killer Joe Review

      Psycho killer-Matthew McConaughey as assassin Joe Cooper and Juno Temple as Dottie in Killer Joe
                Killer Joe is the newest film from director William Friedkin. It is disgusting, brutally violent and totally offensive. It is also by far the best film I have seen in my years of movie going. This is not to say that it is my favorite film of all time...I'll have to think that one over first. Friedkin brilliant transforms this film into a masterpiece by creating a film where every character is repugnant to the audience.

                 The film starts with Chris (Emile Hirsch)..a down on his luck young man who owes money to many dangerous people. He suggests to his father, Ansel (Thomas Haden Church) that they kill his mother. Chris's sister, Dottie (Juno Temple) quickly latches onto the idea. In comes Joe Cooper (Matthew McConaughey)...an assassin for hire who might just be more than he appears to be.

                   Killer Joe should be shown in film classes all over the world as an example of how to make a movie and also as an example of how brutality is actually a great addition to a film sometimes. Everyone's great here...Hirsch, Temple, Church, Gina Gershon as Sharla..Chris's step mom. It is McConaughey, however who steals every scene in this film. He is so good it's mind blowing. I never could have imagined that one person could be so terrific in a single performance..especially not the guy who's known for never having his shirt on. He makes Joe into both a disgusting and unpredictable character..giving him no likable qualities..which is what makes him so great.

                    The film's last half hour is the prime example of how a movie should conclude. It is more violent than Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, Natural Born Killers and Saving Private Ryan combined and much more disturbing. However..it is also unpredictable and features an ending that will keep everyone (whether they like the film or not) talking for weeks.

                      Killer Joe is all around a total success. From its eerie moments to its surprisingly funny ones..it works as both a beautifully ugly thriller and an unbelievably dark comedy. There is not a dull moment in the film. In fact...there is never a not great second in Killer Joe.
(5 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated NC-17 for graphic disturbing content involving violence and sexuality and a scene of brutality)

The Awakening Review

House of the dead-Rebecca Hall and Dominic West investigate a haunted house in The Awakening

             The Awakening is yet another haunted house film. However...this time, much of the material is elevated by the lovely Rebecca Hall. She is both charming and intriguing as Florence-a hoax hunter who goes to look at a boarding school run by Robert (Dominic West) that supposedly has the ghost of a boy who died long ago haunting it.

                    Although Hall and West are both excellent in their roles..The Awakening gets bogged down in too many ghost movie cliches and goes on for much too long. It feels as if first time director Nick Murphy took a reel of old ghost films and put different scenes from each one together and then proceeded to put Hall and West in each scene using editing software. Not to say this is a bad thing..Hall and West are great but the film lacks any bite, wit or originality.

                     The film also features a pretty cool twist but then drags it out for an unnecessary amount of time. That brings me to the question-why should we care what we are watching? Why should we want to see more if all of it drags out to an unacceptable length? Ultimately...the film is too bland for me to answer yes to either of these questions. 

                      Sure-The Awakening does features two terrific performers but is that enough for a recommendation? Perhaps in another film it would be. As it is...I have seen way too many ghost films just like this one to warrant any sort of recommendation.

(2 and 1/2 out of 5 Stars..The film is rated R for some violence and sexuality/nudity) 

Easy Money Review

    Criminal binds-Joel Kinnaman and Matias Valera are thieves on the run in the new thriller Easy Money
                Not to be confused with the Rodney Dangerfield comedy of the same name...Easy Money is a new thriller by Daniel Espinosa who previously directed Ryan Reynolds and Denzel Washington in Safe House. It follows Jorge (Matias Valera)-an escaped prisoner on the run who is being looked upon by Johan (Joel Kinniman)-a man trying to gain a little extra cash by becoming a drug runner. Meanwhile-Mrado (Dragomir Mrsic) is on the hunt for Jorge.

                 These three men get entangled in a web of lies and danger. Perhaps I shouldn't say a web...I should say a plethora. All three men do not know who to trust...they can't even trust their family. Even Lovisa (Lea Stojanov)-Mrado's 8 year old daughter is a threat simply because she's an easy target. Easy Money is similar in tone, style and quality to another foreign thriller this year-Headhunters. Both are perfectly acted, directed, written and do not rely on heavy violence at all. In Roger Ebert's review of Headhunters..he wrote "violence is boring." I could not agree more with this statement which is why I love both of these films (Ebert, I know loved Headhunters.)

                    I'm comparing too much..so back to the film at hand. The film is very slow burn in its storytelling. It takes its time and builds up to a more and more suspenseful level to the point where the audience is on the edge of their seats waiting to see what happens next. I already mentioned the perfect acting but I feel I have to point out Kinniman in particular. Sure-the other two are great in their respectful roles but Kinniman, who you may have seen on the AMC show The Killing transforms his character into both sympathetic and truly frightening. It is one of the best if not the best performance I have seen all year.

                     You may want to drink more than a few ships of coffee before seeing Easy Money. Even though I was wide awake and 100% engaged during the entire film...I even got confused at points. It is a thriller that never takes its foot off the gas even though it is awfully confusing at some points. However, even the confusing parts are impossible not to be enthralled by.
(5 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated R for strong violence, pervasive language, drug content, and some sexuality)

$upercapitalist Review

 Not worth a cent-Derek Ting and Kathy Uyen as a hedge fund trader and his love interest in Supercapitalist
              $upercapitalist is the value DVD bin version of Margin Call. Who am I kidding? $upercapitalist is the version of Margin Call that you wouldn't even watch if it were playing as a free screening. I am sad to report that having seen this in the theater...I observed that three other people at my showing paid $8 each to see this film as did I. As a warning-I will mention that when I say this film is terrible in this review...I mean that this film should be avoided by everyone like it was the plague. In its own way...it is a plague. It is one of the few films that come around that I can actually say I almost walked out on. Earlier this week..I experienced a similar experience with 5 Broken Cameras but that film is a delight compared to this one.

               $upercapitalist is actually unlike any other film I have seen before. Do not take this as a compliment. By this I mean that in literally every other film I have seen...something..anything...the most minuscule of things happens. In this film...nothing happens. Sure..people speak stupid dialogue and there are a couple of villains but there is nothing to progress the film. It feels like a mood point to even mention there are villains because they have no personality to them. Neither does the main character Connor (played simultaneously over the top and incredibly boring by Derek Ting.) Connor is such a bland guy that when Natalie (Kathy Uyen) falls for him...the audience is scratching their heads at why.

              The film also features a twist that is both obvious and not fitting to the film. The film never picks up pace...even for a second and never feels like the thriller it's obviously trying too hard to be. It feels like it wants to be the new Margin Call but ends up more in the way of Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps.

               I'm done reviewing $upercapitalist...it's hard to sit here and tell my readers what I did and did not like about it because honestly..there's nothing to the film. It is a big pile of nothing that had me running out the door like my butt was on fire the second the end credits started rolling.
(0 out of 5 Stars, The film is Not Rated)

5 Broken Cameras Review

  Visually speaking-Emad Burnat documents the attack by the Israeli army on Palestine in 5 Broken Cameras
                     I have said it before and I will say it again...my number one thought process going into a documentary is whether or not I like or know anything about the subject...will it interest me? Many documentaries have shockingly passed this test over the years. The horse trainer documentary Buck and the high school documentaries Fame High and American Teen come to mind. In the near future...5 Broken Cameras will not be on that list of documentaries. It is an incredibly boring, totally dated and all too proud film in which Emad Burnat documents his life in Palestine. Mostly...it's the torture he went through with the Israeli army.

                    The cameras are supposed to tell five different parts of a story but there lies the first problem. All five stories involving the camera are told the same and feel the same in what happened and why. This is not helped by the fact that director Emad Burnat has narration that would make any yearn for the days of staring at a wall. Also..Guy Davidi co directed with Burnat who acts like he's the director of the whole film.

                      This brings me to my next issue which is that Burnat is all too proud of what he's doing. Sure...he is documenting a horrifying event but the event is so past its prime that I felt like an idiot watching this film. Also...Burnat spends way too much time on his kids. I will not even get into details about their names or back stories because trust me..you will hear plenty about those things in the film.

                      The film also doesn't go beyond the whole cliche of rightful land ownership in the protests. There is no substance to the scenes with the protests and it ends up being excruciating to watch scene after scene of this. Perhaps Burnat did his job in this way...wanting to make the film painful to watch but I hardly doubt he was going for excruciating. Finally...the fact that the cameras were broken by the same thing (which I choose not to reveal just in case some of my readers are still intrigued by this film) makes the broken cameras aspect of the film lack any real motive.

                       With all this out in the open...all I have to say is that it's your choice. You can watch this film whose subject matter is way past its due date or you can watch the news. Personally..I would go with the news....it will be more up to date and significantly less boring.
(0 out of 5 Stars, The film is Not Rated)

Hope Springs Review

        Bad lovin'-Tommy Lee Jones and Meryl Streep are a married couple in the new drama Hope Springs
                           Hope Springs starts out as a cliche romantic comedy where Kay and Arnold (Meryl Streep and Tommy Lee Jones) are going through a rough patch in their marriage. Naturally...Kay turns to Dr. Feld (Steve Carell)..a self help author who presides in a quaint little town. Arnold then disagrees with Kay on this idea but eventually tags along. There is the premise for what could have easily been the most unoriginal comedy of the past years. Instead...Hope Springs is a delightful drama that boosts excellent performances from its three leads..especially Jones.

                             I've always thought of Jones as an excellent actor but his performance is so good I can not even describe it in words. No..seriously...he is a force to be reckoned with here. Jones displays the kind of performance that Robert Downey JR displayed in Tropic Thunder. You know what I'm talking about...taking a tired idea for a character and transforming it into something magical. Streep and Carell are also excellent but Jones is the true genius behind this film.

                             The true key to a great actor is if they can get their audience engaged from the first second of the film to the very last. Jones definitely does this...giving us a fantastic character transformation. I hate to spend so much time on just one of the aspects of the film but if you are going to see this film...see it for Jones.

                              Hope Springs is somewhat slow and I feel as if you have to be married (or have been married previously) to get some of the stuff the film is trying to convey. It also brings nothing new to the table to say about marriage, sex or anything along those lines. However...you will never see performances like that of Jones, Streep and Carell for quite some time.
(3 and 1/2 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated PG-13 for mature thematic content involving sexuality)

The Expendables 2 Review

   I want action-Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham and Terry Crews star in the action film The Expendables 2
                      Yes...we did not need this film to be made. We also didn't need 21 Jump Street (the movie) to be made. I'm not saying this is as good as that..I'm just saying look what that ended up being like. The Expendables 2 features nostalgic faces-both old and new and scattered humor (most of which fails.) We get Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham and Terry Crews among others returning but then we get Jean Claude Van Damme, Nan Yu, and Chuck Norris returning.

                       As it is..I have to discuss all three of these people. First..Van Damme who makes a fantastic villain and proves he's actually a pretty good actor steals every scene he's in. Next...Yu fits in surprisingly well considering this is her first American action film. And finally...Mr. Cool himself Norris returns to the big screen for one last action film. His cameo would have been so much better, however if they had not shown it in the trailer. I was almost tempted not to mention him just in case there was one person who had not seen the trailer who is reading this. As it is, though.....Norris kills it like always.

                      The film does feature many self-referential jokes that we, as an audience understand. However...none of these jokes are funny. There is an exchange between Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis in which one repeats the other's trademark line. It wasn't funny...it was just dumb. I even know it was meant to be funny because there was a pause between that and the next action scene clearly meant for people to laugh. Also...there are multiple scenes in which someone makes a bad joke and everyone starts laughing. The audience is supposed to join in this laugh but we just can't.

                        As it is..I can not quite recommend The Expendables 2. Almost all of the action is cool and Van Damme is deliciously evil as the bad guy but the sixty percent of the film that is dialogue based just does not work. Wait for it on Netflix or Redbox...you'll be much safer that way.
(2 and 1/2 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated R for strong bloody violence throughout)

Nitro Circus: The Movie 3D Review

A dangerous method-one of many incredibly life threatening stunts performed in Nitro Circus: The Movie 3D
                         Nitro Circus is a group of guys (and 1 woman) who just want to have fun. When I went into Nitro Circus: The Movie 3D....I was hoping they would spread their wealth of fun. The first time I saw it...I sat in an non-air conditioned theater and, naturally, I stayed being the film buff that I am. However...it did not give me a clear perspective of how much fun these guys were. Yes...I went back and saw it a second time and managed to make out that this was actually a pretty fun film.

                         The Nitro Circus crew isn't quite Johnny Knoxville, Steve-O, Chris Pontius, ETC but they are good at what they do. What they do is similar to that of the Jackass crew. However..these people perform make it or you die stunts while the guys from Jackass perform don't make it and you may be hurt but certainly not dead stunts. The film is in 3D which is almost unnecessary because it's set up like a documentary (and a good one at that) that you feel as if you're just watching a regular screen. However..when the stunts start getting under way..that's when you get your extra bucks worth.

                          The film features interviews from Rob Dyrdek, Johnny Knoxville, Jeff Tremaine and yes..Channing Tatum. Although these do not seem like the ideal people to be talking about Nitro Circus bar Knoxville and maybe Tremaine....the interviews are actually pretty good. It all builds up to a live show at the MGM grand and yes...even Tatum has some interesting things to say about these group of people.

                          Although some may argue that this pales in comparison to Jackass....Nitro Circus: The Movie 3D stands on its own ground as a fun filled evening at the movies. Also...if you like Jackass so much that you're comparing it to the crew of Nitro Circus...this will be the closest thing to Jackass you will ever get to see the theater again. So go see Nitro Circus...these are definitely people you won't regret spending 90 minutes with.
(3 out of 5 Stars....The film is rated PG-13 for depiction of extreme and dangerous stunts throughout and for language)

The Imposter Review

 What a guy-Frederic Bourdin commits a crime of horrific proportions in the documentary/noir The Imposter
                Frederic Bourdin is a truly evil man. He is also a truly sympathetic man. As a boy....he obviously had a terrible childhood and has lived a terrible live. Still...what is explored in the new mix of documentary and film noir The Imposter is unforgivable.

               Due to the title and the fact that what I am about to reveal was revealed in the first five minutes..I do not count my plot summary as a spoiler. Bourdin is a man who pretends to be the lost child Nicholas Barclay and tells Barclay's family that he (as Nicholas) has found them. It is then that the family is so happy to see their long lost child that they believe it is Nicholas although every one else is suspicious.


               Without further ado I have to say that The Imposter is one of the best films I have seen all year. It is a truly thrilling and surprisingly touching documentary that plays out more like a thriller than that of a documentary. All the interviews are compelling even those with Bourdin himself and there are countless twists that no one in the audience will see coming. Also...the film is beautiful in its storytelling even with such a horrific event centering around it.

                 At times...the audience will forget that The Imposter is even a documentary. This is not an insulting to either the audience nor the film. Rather...this is a compliment to the complexity of the film. The Imposter is the kind of film we need. It is the kind of film that if we make more if...we will know how to fix the society we live in. I won't say the film is for everyone but I will say it is so important that everyone should see it at least once.
(5 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated R for language)

Celeste And Jesse Forever Review

      This could work-Rashida Jones and Andy Samberg as  best friends in Celeste And Jesse Forever
                    Romantic comedies have become so predictable in today's society. You know exactly what is going to happen and when it is going to happen. That is why I am happy to report that the newest seemingly romantic comedy Celeste And Jesse Forever breaks that mold. It goes to unexpected places in unexpected ways and works mainly to the charm of its two stars-Saturday Night Live veteran Andy Samberg and Parks And Recreation's Rashida Jones. These are both comedic actors who give two of the best dramatic performances that are likely to come out this year.

                    In the film Jones plays Celeste and Samberg plays Jesse. They are a divorced couple who are still best friends even in the process of their divorce. In an early scene-their best friends Tucker and Beth (Eric Christian Olsen and Ari Graynor) tell them how weird it is that they still have inside jokes and do everything together. As they are saying this-the audience starts to agree with them except the audience is enjoying the weirdness while it's just making Tucker and Beth uncomfortable. They then decide to see other people. Celeste gets hit on at yoga by a businessman named Paul (the always reliable Chris Messina) while Jesse meets up with an old girlfriend named Veronica (Rebecca Dayan.) As they try to live their lives separately-we, the audience realize they can never truly be apart.

                     One of my favorite things about the film is that there is no monumental change by either of the characters. We see changes by both Celeste and Jesse but neither of them are significant. Naturally-they both are better people by the end but for reasons that are not expected.

                      When it comes down to it-Celeste And Jesse Forever is one of the best films of the year. With excellent performances all around (and especially by its two stars) and a wonderfully unconventional method of storytelling...it's a different kind of drama that should be enjoyed by the masses.
(5 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated R for language, sexual content and drug use)

Diary Of A Wimpy Kid Dog Days Review

Dear diary-Steve Zahn, Zachary Gordon, Robert Capron and Frank C Turner in Diary Of A Wimpy Kid 3
                   Ever since the first Diary Of A Wimpy Kid...I have been trying to boycott these films. However...I feel obliged to my readers to see just about everything I can see. Although I hate to admit it..I am kind of glad that I saw Diary Of A Wimpy Kid Dog Days. Now..before you go getting all defensive on me...I will say I think the movie is still awful but it made me have a realization. This realization is that talented people are involved in the making of this film but somehow they get stuck in these same old roles. In the film...Steve Zahn and Rachael Harris play Greg (Zachary Gordon)'s parents and Devon Bostick plays Rodrick...Greg's carefree, lazy brother.

                   I have seen Zahn and Harris in countless things and I have seen them both be good actors. Bostick was in Atom Egoyan's thriller Adoration of which I was not a fan but I though Bostick's performance in that was one of the best performances I had seen in a while. However...they all keep signing up to the Diary Of A Wimpy Kid films. Sure..it's an easy paycheck for all involved but I hope this does not spoil any of these peoples' careers. Even Gordon is obviously a very good actor but he has got to get out of this role.

                  My main problem with the film is that every scene feels like a set up for another stupid, gross out joke. Yes..I know that argument can made for many comedies but this feels particularly so. Even something like Bad Teacher that has the same problem sets up a plot and a conflict. In this film..we get no plot or conflict but rather a bunch of unfunny scenes involving poorly conceived jokes. I shouldn't be surprised because this was the case with the other two films.

                  Perhaps I am being too hard on these films..they are not made for someone of my age or movie going caliber. I am not a parent or a five year old kid. Those are the two audiences this film is made for. They are not made to be reviewed in a sophisticated manner as I am doing right now. I may be contradicting my whole review here but all I am saying is that the film has a very specific idea of demographic and that is who should be going to this film.
(1 and 1/2 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated PG for some rude humor)

The Bourne Legacy Review

            A bit of Damon, A ton of Renner....Rachel Weisz and Jeremy Renner star in The Bourne Legacy
                     The Bourne Legacy is not the worst film I have seen all year...not by a long shot. It is, however quite possibly the most boring film I have seen all year. It is the most boring type of film-a film that is all sound and no substance. There is nothing to sustain the film except for the fact that it is incredibly loud.

                     With Matt Damon not wanting to play the role of Jason Bourne...we get introduced to a new agent named Aaron Cross (Jeremy Renner) who has qualifications like no one else before him. Despite his best efforts..Renner, an extremely talented actor has a poorly written character and can not seem to get a good performance with this script. His character is written to be a humorless person but when there is an action film such as this one....the audience needs someone with at least a bit of a personality so they can root for him.  James Bond and Jason Bourne are prime examples of this kind of person.

                     The film does feature an incredibly thrilling shoot out at work scene involving Marta (Rachel Weisz) but even they take that too far. All the characters are poorly written, including Marta and those of actors Edward Norton, Scott Glenn, Albert Finney and Stacy Keach so I can not say any of these actors managed to impress me here. Also...many will argue with me after having seen the film but there is a scene towards the end of the film involving Renner and Weisz being chased down on a motorcycle. In my opinion..this has to be  the laziest scene of the film. There are also scenes at the beginning with Cross training in Alaska that are truly boring scenes.

                      When it comes down to it...there is no other way to put it. The Bourne Legacy is boring. When they set up for another whole movie at the end...I felt cheated and had no desire to come back and see that movie. All in all..you'd have more fun just watching Matt Damon kick butt in one of the older Bourne films.
(1 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated PG-13 for violence and action sequences)

Beasts Of The Southern Wild Review

 

    An imperfect world-a father and daughter in the bayou after a hurricane in Beasts Of The Southern Wild
                Have you ever watched a film and just thought "how did they mess up so badly?" Well...that was my reaction walking out of the drama Beasts Of The Southern Wild. It screws up in more ways than one. Not only is it boring, not only is it phony, not only does it feature unappealing characters, not only is it slowly paced...well..you get my point.

                 The film follows a little girl named Hushpuppy (Quvenzhane Wallis) whose father Wink (Dwight Henry) abuses her both mentally and physically. However...as the story needs to go...Hushpuppy wants to stand by her father through thick and thin. There is nothing appealing about Wink...he's just a mean person and we wonder why she would not consider running away. Thus begins the pile of cliches that could have been heartwarming if done right but rather flop and wiggle on the floor until about fifteen minutes in...they finally die out.

                The film also features phoniness in its storytelling and execution. It tries to have bragging rights about how nice the whole art house vibe of the film is but that would require actually having something good about it. Rather...the film is boring and very slow paced. I can not express in words how slow paced this film is. Even at 90 minutes...it feels like three hours.

                 Perhaps Beasts Of The Southern Wild does have some heart somewhere in it. I did not see it, however and the whole thing feels like a sham. It probably feels that way because it is.
(1/2 star out of 5 Stars, The film is rated PG-13 for thematic material including child imperilment, some disturbing images, language, and brief sensuality)

The Campaign Review

     A showdown for the ages-Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis throw down in the comedy The Campaign
                     I remember when I first saw Will Ferrell do his George Bush impression. I literally could not breath..I was cracking up so hard. This came as a surprise to me because I couldn't care less about Bush and furthermore..I couldn't care less about politics. The Campaign manages to find Ferrell in that same type of role and as funny as ever. The Campaign is that one movie that comes around every so often that manages to be both smart, biting satire and laugh out loud funny. It might be starting a trend since Cedar Rapids and 21 Jump Street both did this not so long ago. However...The Campaign has something more to say than either of those films.

                    The Campaign wants to point out all the ridiculousness of politics. For example...there is a scene that involves Marty Huggins (Zach Galifianakis) shooting Cam Brady (Ferrell). Soon after shooting him...he is ahead in the election. This is one of my favorite jokes in the film because that is really how unbelievably dumb politics are. I chose to gave away that scene because there are so many other laugh out loud and smart moments that mentioning one is nothing.

                     Ferrell and Galifianakis work well together. Marty has no experience in politics while Cam has plenty of experience but unlike Marty is a complete idiot. Also..Jason Sudekis and Dylan McDermott as Cam and Marty's campaign managers are hilarious. In fact..if there was one thing I was a little sketchy on about the film it was that McDermott was going to be a vacuum and not fit into the film at all. Oh boy did he prove me wrong...he is actually one of the best parts of the film. Also...look out for two awesome actors in pretty big roles as millionaire brothers.

                     The Campaign works on all levels. It is funny, smart, has much to say and is even a bit touching. It never peters out and it shows us the world of politics as we never thought to see it. It may not be Anchorman but it's pretty damn close.
(4 and 1/2 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated R for crude sexual content, language and brief nudity)

Total Recall Review

      Putting a gun to the audience's head-Colin Farrell is abruptly taken out of his life in Total Recall
                    Total Recall is much like being kicked in the groin numerous times. Wait...that might be more fun. Yes...Total Recall is THAT bad. And yes..not even Savages or John Carter compares to sitting through the experience of this dreadful, sickening piece of garbage. There is nothing good here...there is only loud, boring action scenes and an incredible amount of talent wasted. When you have good actors like Colin Farrell, Bryan Cranston, John Cho, Kate Beckinsale, Bill Nighy and Bokeem Woodbine just being plain bad...you know you have a problem.

                    I would bother you with the plot of Total Recall but almost everyone knows it which is why it was so unnecessary to even remake it. Farrell takes over Schwarzenegger's place and fails miserably while Jessica Biel and Kate Beckinsale provide eye candy and not a single thing more. The film is incredibly loud but the audience may not be able to stay awake because of how boring it is. Also...it's surprisingly trashy. This should be no surprise considering it's directed by Len Wiseman who previously did Underworld and Underworld Evolution along with Live Free Or Die Hard (which I will admit is pretty entertaining unlike his other films.)

                   The film is trashy for all the wrong reasons. You can't root for anyone in the film because they are all such smutty people and when something potentially exciting presents itself...it fails to provide anything that is actually exciting. The film thinks just because it is loud and violent and looks expensive that it is fun. Well...that is the farthest thing from the truth I have ever heard.

                   The screenplay is done by Kurt Wimmer and Mark Bomback. Wimmer's previous screenplay was Street Kings while Bomback's was Race To Witch Mountain. Obviously...these are not talented people who were put in charge of the dialogue, set up, ETC. Unlike with Savages...there is no talent behind the scenes of this film. The actors are good and yet they screw up because of the behind the scenes people.

                    Perhaps I should be lighter on this than on Savages but when you make a film that was completely unnecessary and makes Savages look like Casablanca by comparison...you know you have screwed up beg time.
(0 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated PG-13 for intense sequences of sci-fi violence and action, some sexual content, brief nudity and language)

To Rome With Love Review

       Rome-ing Around- Ellen Page and Jesse Eisenberg star in one of the 4 stories in To Rome With Love
                      Woody Allen is about as hit and miss as a filmmaker can be in my perspective. He is right up there with Norman Jewison and Oliver Stone in directors that can really stun me or really amaze me or just be kind of in the middle. In the case of To Rome With Love-Allen is off track. After an impressive streak of the greats Midnight In Paris and Vicky Cristina Barcelona and the very fun (but just good) You Will Meet A Tall Dark Stranger...Allen has somehow fell on his face making what could be the most mediocre film of the year. In order to fully explain just how mediocre this film is..I will have to divide this review into four paragraphs-each one being about one of the stories.

                      One of the stories follows Jack (Jesse Eisenberg)-a nerdy guy who is going out with Sally (Greta Gerwig). When Sally's friend Monica (Ellen Page) shows up in town-Jack instantly falls for her while being pressured by John (Alec Baldwin) not to fall for her. This is by far the worst story. This is due to the fact that Jack acts as if Monica is some angel sent to him from Heaven. However..the audience is annoyed by Monica and therefore can not get involved in the story. Also...we never know if Jack is just imagining John or if he is really there. This causes for too many confusing moments in which the audience is never sure whether Jack is sane or not and can never root for him because of this.

                     The next story follows Antonio (Allesandro Tiberi) who loses his ravishing wife-Milly (Alessandra Mastronardi) and then finds another love in Anna (Penelope Cruz)-a hooker who has mistakenly been sent to him. Milly falls for a "sex symbol" actor named Luca Salta (Antonio Albanese). The funny part of this story is that Luca is not a handsome man and he is portrayed as a very, very ideal sex symbol. The lame part of this is that no hooker would ever look like Cruz...ever. Overall..this is a story that has been done to death and (mostly) fails miserably.

                       Another story follows Giancarlo (Fabio Armiliato) who meets his son's fiance's father Jerry (Woody Allen). Jerry believes that Giancarlo is an excellent singer but he can only sing in the shower because he's not in front of people so Jerry-oh, you will have more fun at the surprise that is to come. Allen is hilarious here and the visual gags (hint, hint) that comes from the plot are drop dead funny. This is by far the best of the stories.

                        The last story involves Leopoldo (Roberto Benigni)-a normal man who becomes an overnight celebrity and doesn't know why. People interview him asking him what he had for breakfast and covering his shaving. Although this story does feel dated..it makes up for it by being extremely funny and endearing while making a point about how society has always been.

                        Overall...To Rome With Love is just mediocre. There's no other way of putting it. Some stuff works, some stuff does not. Go see it with low expectations....you'll like it more that way.
(2 and 1/2 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated R for some sexual references)