Total Recall Review

      Putting a gun to the audience's head-Colin Farrell is abruptly taken out of his life in Total Recall
                    Total Recall is much like being kicked in the groin numerous times. Wait...that might be more fun. Yes...Total Recall is THAT bad. And yes..not even Savages or John Carter compares to sitting through the experience of this dreadful, sickening piece of garbage. There is nothing good here...there is only loud, boring action scenes and an incredible amount of talent wasted. When you have good actors like Colin Farrell, Bryan Cranston, John Cho, Kate Beckinsale, Bill Nighy and Bokeem Woodbine just being plain bad...you know you have a problem.

                    I would bother you with the plot of Total Recall but almost everyone knows it which is why it was so unnecessary to even remake it. Farrell takes over Schwarzenegger's place and fails miserably while Jessica Biel and Kate Beckinsale provide eye candy and not a single thing more. The film is incredibly loud but the audience may not be able to stay awake because of how boring it is. Also...it's surprisingly trashy. This should be no surprise considering it's directed by Len Wiseman who previously did Underworld and Underworld Evolution along with Live Free Or Die Hard (which I will admit is pretty entertaining unlike his other films.)

                   The film is trashy for all the wrong reasons. You can't root for anyone in the film because they are all such smutty people and when something potentially exciting presents itself...it fails to provide anything that is actually exciting. The film thinks just because it is loud and violent and looks expensive that it is fun. Well...that is the farthest thing from the truth I have ever heard.

                   The screenplay is done by Kurt Wimmer and Mark Bomback. Wimmer's previous screenplay was Street Kings while Bomback's was Race To Witch Mountain. Obviously...these are not talented people who were put in charge of the dialogue, set up, ETC. Unlike with Savages...there is no talent behind the scenes of this film. The actors are good and yet they screw up because of the behind the scenes people.

                    Perhaps I should be lighter on this than on Savages but when you make a film that was completely unnecessary and makes Savages look like Casablanca by comparison...you know you have screwed up beg time.
(0 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated PG-13 for intense sequences of sci-fi violence and action, some sexual content, brief nudity and language)