There is a certain mental limit ones' mind can take. It is high for some and low for others. Upon watching the futuristic drama Branded....I reached my mental limit. The film is a confusing, boring, slow moving and weird (in the worst way possible) mess. It also features unappealing characters and a completely unsophisticated narrative. Let me rephrase myself-this narrative feels as if a two year old took a crayon and just started drawing stuff and writers/directors Jamie Bradshaw and Aleksandr Dulerayn used what he drew as their script.
Let's start with the acting. I expected Jeffrey Tambor as the villain to ham it up but what is Max Von Sydow doing sleepwalking through his role? Also...Ed Stoppard as the protagonist (so to speak) and Leelee Sobieski as his love interest are both bland and yet give off a negative vibe. They are both such mean, boring people that you know they are meant for each other. However...they are not meant for a movie. The slow pace is also a huge problem. I do not mind slow paced films (I love Into The Wild) but the film has to have some substance to be acceptably slow. When you have a film such as this that is just dumb ideas being thrown at the screen-there is no need to make your film feel art house-like with its pace. Then there is the weirdness of the film. The film is weird but not in a good way. If this is what being a druggie looks like...I want no part of it. The film is strange in its ugliness as well as its script which takes aim at big companies. As someone who supports the little companies-this seemed like the perfect film. However...they take the aim in too many odd directions to get anywhere close to proving a point.
The film is also incredibly boring. It is an unendurable piece of garbage that takes no chances. It had such potential to be an interesting attack on companies such as McDonalds, Target and Walmart yet it somehow gets caught up in its own cockiness. As well..the film is confusing. If you can legitimately tell me what actually happened in this film and how it led to the lazy conclusion...you will have my respect as a film buff for life. The film veers off into scenes that have nothing to do with the supposed plot.
Branded is the worst film of the year so far. It is also probably the worst film of the past five years. There are no redeeming qualities to it. It reminded me of a drunk woman at a party...it wants to screw everyone but when that doesn't work...it just sits there in its own filth making everyone else miserable and uncomfortable.
(0 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated R for language and some sexual content)
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