Scary Movie 5 continues to prove that the parody is truly a dead art form. This year... film goers and critics were forced to endure A Haunted House...a dreadful, laugh-free Paranormal Activity parody. Now comes Scary Movie 5 which does what I deemed impossible and actually makes A Haunted House look like 21 Jump Street by comparison. This is a true crime to cinema...an atrocity for all who are watching and a shameful act for all who were involved. This is not a movie...this is a nightmare.
In the latest installment of the once very funny franchise (it stopped being funny when the fourth came along)...films such as Mama, Paranormal Activity and Evil Dead get spoofed. However, beside Mama....the two main films getting spoofed are Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes and Black Swan. I wouldn't have minded that they were spoofing non-horror films from a few years ago if it were just funny. But it's not. This is the type of film where you even feel bad for Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen simply because they agreed to be in this film.
There is not one laugh in the entire film. In fact...the only thing I can say I was able to tolerate about the film was an Inception parody. However, this was tolerable only due to the fact that the Leonardo DiCaprio impersonator looked and sounded EXACTLY like DiCaprio himself. Other than that...even that was unendurable. The film is wrong on so many levels. The main thing it gets wrong is that if you do or say something multiple times...it's no longer funny. This is not to say that anything anyone did or said in this film was funny. Rather, it's just to say that even if something was funny...they would have ruined it by telling the same joke way too many times anyway. The lead actors in the form of Simon Rex and Ashley Tisdale as a married couple manage to be simultaneously boring and obnoxious as do the rest of the cast. It is unfortunate that the supporting cast is awful as well because it does feature some very funny people such as Darrell Hammond, Katt Williams and Terry Crews. Also...the film (not including the egregiously extended end credits) is only 70 minutes. Why would anyone pay $10 for a movie that if it were a few minutes shorter would not even be considered feature length? Furthermore...why would anyone pay anything for a film this bad?
I am not going to go on about this film. I am giving it way more of an analysis than it will ever deserve. Simply put....Scary Movie 5 is a crime against humanity. There will most likely be people walking if not running out of the theater before the unnecessarily long end credits roll.
(0 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated PG-13 for crude and sexual content throughout, language, some drug material, partial nudity, comic violence and gore)
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