The Best Movies Of 2016!!!!

Here they are---the best films of 2016. These are the films that reminded me why I love going to the theater so much. For such a terrible year in so many ways, these films provided a great escape for me. Before I get into the meat of the list, here are a few honorable mentions----White Girl, Almost Christmas, Don't Think Twice, Sing Street, Arrival, Deadpool, Nocturnal Animals, American Honey, The Edge Of Seventeen and Best Worst Thing That Ever Could Have Happened.

(10) Midnight Special

An inventive, original science fiction drama that harkens back to the 1970's, Midnight Special is a blast from start to finish. It also has amazing performances all around and is directed with such flair by Jeff Nichols that you can't help but ask how he did it all.

(9) Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping

The funniest film I saw all year and quite possibly one of the funniest films I have seen period, Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping may feel like a series of "Saturday Night Live" sketches quickly glued together but it had me laughing out loud from start to finish. When 99.8% of the jokes in your film land, you know you've accomplished something.

(8) Moonlight

A powerful, immersive drama with a great storytelling structure, Moonlight hit me so emotionally that I just had to walk around for a bit thinking about it after I saw it. For a guy who sees 300+ films a year, that's an achievement worth bragging about.

(7) Born To Be Blue

Unlike its fellow jazz musician biopic, Miles Ahead, which was a total mess despite good intention, Born To Be Blue is an amazing, damn near perfect film about Chet Baker. Ethan Hawke gives a performance that is sure to be studied in acting classes for decades to come as Baker and the whole film is hypnotic as hell.

(6) Take Me To The River

Sadly under seen, Take Me To The River is not a fun film to watch. However, it is a powerful drama about how even your own family may be harboring dark secrets and what could happen if those secrets come out. I dare anyone to watch this film and not be gripped from start to finish.

(5) Manchester By The Sea

Speaking of emotional and powerful films about family, Manchester By The Sea is a drama about dealing with the loss of a beloved family member that works so well, it's impossible to imagine the film being made any better. If all is right with the world, Casey Affleck will win the Best Actor Oscar for his understated performance as Lee, a man who is completely stricken with grief while newcomer Lucas Hedges will at least get nominated for his equally strong performance as the nephew Lee must take care of.

(4) Other People 

Featuring incredible performances from Jesse Plemons and Molly Shannon, Other People is a riveting, devastating drama about a son and mother dealing with the hand they've been dealt. Written by "Saturday Night Live" writer Chris Kelly, the film also manages to find levity in the best of places. 

(3) In A Valley Of Violence

One of two incredibly badass films from this year (see #2 on my list for the other,) In A Valley Of Violence doesn't do anything new with its western premise but it lays the groundwork and builds around said groundwork so perfect, I dare call the film an amazing achievement. Director Ti West has always been one of my favorites and this film cements him as maybe the most natural at making cool, slick entertainment (sorry, Quentin Tarantino.)

(2) Hell Or High Water

The other incredibly badass film this year, Hell Or High Water features three performances that could all be nominated for Oscars. Jeff Bridges, Chris Pine and Ben Foster create three of the best characters from 2016 and the film as a whole is an unpredictable, incredibly entertaining, brilliantly old fashioned rollercoaster ride.

(1) Everybody Wants Some!!

Richard Linklater once again shows why he's the king of indie comedies. Featuring a cast of relative newcomers (Ryan Guzman from The Boy Next Door, Blake Jenner from Glee and Wyatt Russell from 22 Jump Street are the best known of the cast,) this is one awesome film. Linklater sets this comedy at the beginning of the 1980's as a baseball player (Blake Jenner) moves into college and pals around with his teammates. The film is mostly just teammates having conversations but oh how engrossing they are. Pitcher Willoughby (Russell) talks about chord progressions in song for 15 minutes and it may very well be the most engaging scene from the past five years. Everybody Wants Some!! opened in limited release around me. After catching a showing of it I had to travel an hour to see, I was quite literally itching to see it again once it expanded. If that isn't high praise, I don't know what is. 

Trash Fire Review

Tragedy redux------Adrian Grenier and Angela Trimbur as a couple going through a very weird crisis in Trash Fire
                      Richard Bates Jr's Trash Fire is just about the most screwed up romantic comedy you will ever see a film constantly subverting the expectations you have. From the first scene, which starts with Owen (Adrian Grenier) venting to his therapist and then ends with, well, see for yourself, you know this is no When Harry Met Sally or The Ugly Truth. This is a dark, disturbing film about people who are even more dark and disturbing. Somehow, though, Bates Jr is such a talented writer-director that he gets you to root for these miserably drawn characters.

                        The film (which Bates Jr has stated is only somewhat autobiographical,) follows Owen and girlfriend Isabel (Angela Trimbur,) who have had a very on again-off again relationship over the years but always manage to work it out. Owen's therapist (Sally Kirkland) isn't exactly helpful at trying to get them to solve their problems and things get weird when Owen reveals why he's been so detached all these years. All I'll say is that it involves his sister (AnnaLynne McCord) and grandmother (Fionulla Flanagan.) This is the kind of film that is much better not knowing what happens next because like I said, it is constantly going in directions you would never guess.

                            Grenier is amazing as Owen, taking a completely unlikable prick and turning him into someone you can't take your eyes off of. In the hands of a lesser actor, Owen would have had the audience running out of the theater. With Grenier, Owen is someone worth investing in and following. Trimbur provides a good foil to Owen through Isabel. She's likable only by standing next to Owen. Isabel is not any sort of a good person but you feel bad for her because she's stuck with such a dopey, cruel boyfriend.

                               As the sister and grandmother, McCord and Flanagan do an excellent job at doing what they need to. They take the way their characters are written and bring even more life to them, imbuing them with a sense of purpose and meaning that couldn't have been easy to find, seeing as these characters aren't exactly written as bright sunny people, either. Kirkland also provides some brief, but well earned comic relief.

                                Bates Jr has already proven himself to be a one of a kind filmmaker with Excision and Suburban Gothic and proves it again  here. This is an extremely stylish film but its style never sacrifices the substance. We are invested in these characters, believing who they are and wanting to see where their journeys take them. However, Bates Jr also shoots and writes the film with such flair that anyone the least bit interested in filmmaking will have a blast trying to pick out each subtle shot, shift in tone, character decision, ETC. Just like Quentin Tarantino before him, Bates Jr ends up laying out all the pieces for you by the end and it's fun to dissect how these things that you saw prior to the end were part of a bigger whole.

                                   Trash Fire may not be for everyone and it certainly will leave even the most uneasily shocked viewer with a sense of "what did I watch" but Bates Jr has written and directed a stylish, subversive, extremely well done horror film that should appeal to those looking for something a lot different.
(4 and 1/2 out of 5 Stars, The film is Rated R for some disturbing violence/behavior, strong sexuality, nudity and language.)

Masterminds Review

World's dumbest criminals?-----Kristen Wiig and Zach Galifinakis as security guards who decide to rob their company in Masterminds
                             If you enjoy the idea of Kate McKinnon farting on Zach Galifinakis or of Galifinakis pooping himself in a pool that then turns completely brown, you may enjoy Masterminds more than I. For me, I found it the sort of dumb comedy that think it's a whole lot smarter and funnier than it actually is. In fact, I found it sort of horrible. Not once did I laugh, not once did I find anything interesting and many times did I cringe at the sheer idea of this cast having to deliver the material this film provides them. Then again, the film is directed by Jared Hess, a man who has specialized in making films (Don Verdeen, Gentlemen Broncos, Nacho Libre) that seem specifically designed to annoy me over the years. This latest effort from him may be the final nail in the coffin but it's not for a lack of the cast trying. Throw writers Chris Bowman and Hubbel Palmer, director and story writer for the unbearable Sundance-y Humble Pie to take down what could have been a pretty funny script from the extremely talented Emily Spivey and you got yourself one huge, steaming mess of a so-called comedy.

                                 What's even more is the fact that this true life story could have made an interesting thriller or drama or...comedy but Hess, Bowman, Palmer and Spivey do absolutely nothing with it. The story follows David Ghantt (Galifinakis,) a vehicle driver and security personnel for Loomis-Fargo who lusts after his equally strange co-worker Kelly (Kristen Wiig) while being tortured by Jandice (McKinnon,) his creepy fiancee. When Kelly proposes to David that they rob Loomis-Fargo, an idea she comes up with courtesy of master thief Stephen (Owen Wilson, who's way too nice to convincingly play any sort of master criminal,) David immediately jumps on the chance and ends up having to flee to Mexico in one of those comedy disguises that makes you wonder who thought it was funny. If that's not bad enough, he has to change disguises again (ha, ha.)

                                      However, things get way too complicated and Stephen hires a hitman (Jason Sudekis, the one half-way decent part of the film) to take down David. This results in one of the most unpleasant films I have seen all year, one that gets the displeasure of hating its characters even more than another thoroughly unpleasant 2016 comedy, The Bronze. This movie asks the audience to root for David and Kelly while absolutely taking anything potentially likable about them and throwing it out the window. This makes the film not only a sad and offensive attempt at manipulating its audience but also a complete cop-out when it tries to pull one last desperate attempt at the end. Spoiler alert! This is when it shows what has happened to the real life people and tries to go "see...they're good, smart people" after having just gone "ha, ha, ha...look at how stupid these people are." Say what you will about something like Pain and Gain but at least it was consistent in its meanness. Masterminds is uneven in what it wants us to think, which just makes it uncomfortable to sit through.

                                             If I took the likes of Galifinakis, Wiig, Wilson, McKinnon, Leslie Jones, Jon Daly (Jones and Daly play two FBI agents hot on David's trail,) Sudekis, Ken Marino and Mary Elizabeth Ellis, I could have made a significantly funnier film than Masterminds. It's hard to imagine someone screwing up this bad with such an incredible cast but leave it to Hess. He's been taking great casts and wasting them in these awful comedies for years now. It seems appropriate that a lot of these people are or were on Saturday Night Live and Spivey is a longtime SNL writer (she left last year after 14 years there) because all this film feels like is a really bad sketch stretched to an unbearable length.
(1/2 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated PG-13 for crude and sexual humor, some language and violence.)

Other People Review

Life as we know it-----Jesse Plemons as a struggling comedian who must come home to his dying mother (Molly Shannon) in Other People
                                   Chris Kelly's Other People is a brilliant film---a meditative comedy-drama that reminds everyone in the audience of why we go to the movies. This is what every film about a young man who must go home and deal with his dying family member should be. At times it's  a hoot before making you bawl your eyes out in an equally effective manner. This is helped by the fact that leads Jesse Plemons and Molly Shannon, as well as the wonderful supporting cast know how to anchor Kelly's terrific script. There is a realness to the whole production that makes this film all the more effective and relatable.

                                       The film stars Jesse Plemons as David, a struggling comedian who has recently broken up with his long time boyfriend Paul (Zach Woods) and has now found out that his mother, Joanne (Molly Shannon) has terminal cancer. He goes back home to his small town, where old family issues reignite and he pals around with Gabe (John Early, a total scene stealer,) an old high school friend. Among family problems are his caring father (Bradley Whitford,) who still has trouble accepting his son's life decision and his sisters (Madisen Beaty and Maude Apatow,) who resent David for leaving them to a certain degree.

                                          Plemons is terrific, especially considering that his character is a fairly emotionless person, so he has to imbue this guy with sympathy and heart without ever outright doing anything, save for a scene or two where his emotions get the best of him. As for Shannon, she must get an Oscar nomination this year. As someone who has never been her biggest fan, I can say she is absolutely brilliant here. Her role is as tough as Plemons' since her character wants absolutely no sympathy from anyone. She is fine with her disease because she is happy with the life she has lived thus far. Shannon has to make a sympathetic character out of one who doesn't want anyone's sympathy, a difficult task if there ever was one. One scene where she has to go back to her old school to pass on her teaching skills to her co-workers is especially powerful and is Shannon's ultimate Oscar clip moment. These two performances elevate what is already excellent writing and direction from Kelly, the head writer on "Saturday Night Live," which mysteriously got excellent for the last few years and now I can identify one of the reasons why.

                                          Kelly himself has stated this is a very personal story and it shows here. Every scene is grounded in complete realism. Even the wacky grandparents (June Squibb and Paul Dooley) feel like real people that exist somewhere in the world. Also, look out for the brilliant use of a song that I personally love.

                                          Comedy-dramas about a young guy who has to go back to his small town to face tragedy are a dime a dozen (Garden State, This Is Where I Leave You, etc) but Other People completely elevates this material, making it a film that everyone absolutely must see. Whether or not you have experienced this type of situation before, this film will be completely relatable while you are watching it and will only go up in your mind as you think about it.
(5 out of 5 Stars, The film is Not Rated.)

Mr. Church Review

The pot calling the kettle bad---Eddie Murphy as a cook who forms a relationship with a family friend (Britt Robertson) in Mr. Church
                         Eddie Murphy spent four years out of the spotlight, not making a single film in that time. Why he read Susan McMartin's mopey, dumb, overly explanatory and downright offensive script to Mr. Church and decided it was the thing worth coming back to acting for is one of many completely incomprehensible mysteries surrounding this film. Perhaps Murphy knew it would allow him to shine when nothing else does, which the film indeed accomplishes. Besides Murphy's incredibly deep and lovely performance and a decent one from Britt Robertson, this is a drama that pretends to be syrupy sweet when it is just mean at its core. This is not helped by the fact that writer McMartin and director Bruce Beresford (a talented director who did this film much better when it was called Driving Miss Daisy) seem to think that the audience needs every little thing explained to them. Before I jump into the plot summary, I feel the need to  explain just how much this film explains in plain detail.

                            At one point, Charlotte (Robertson,) now pregnant (from whom we never find out nor do we care) gets hit by a skateboarder. Fearing that she and the baby may not make it, town drunk Larson (Christian Madsen,) clearly holding a big bottle of whiskey and a thing of pills, drives her to the hospital despite the fact that he has had his license taken away for drunkenly killing a child with his car. Later, he's getting married (which is explained as it is shown) and Larson tells Charlotte "If you didn't get hit by that car, I was going to end it for good by shoving whiskey and pills down my throat." I don't actually know if that's the verbatim quote,  but it's at least extremely similar. Why this needs to be explained is completely confounding. We clearly saw that he had a lot of whiskey and pills in his hand. Do McMartin and Beresford assume any audience member is stupid enough to go "Oh, he must be in a lot of pain and headed to a dinner party, hence the whiskey and pills." This is but one of many examples in which this film is shockingly offensive. It's also offensive to its own characters, but more on that later.

                                 The film follows Henry Church (Murphy,) who starts a relationship with young Charlotte (Natalie Coughlin,) who at first despises the cook and shows this by behaving ways in which no child her age could possibly behave. But Charlotte ends up liking him, even borrowing books from his "library" and gaining a love for classic literature that, once again, no child her age would possibly gain. Charlotte grows up to be a college student headed to study in Boston. She manages to watch her mother (Natasha McElhone) survive her disease for much longer than the doctors estimated, goes to prom with Owen (Xavier Samuel,) who she explains is both handsome and sweet, qualities that we could have found out without being told them and getting pregnant out of wedlock. Setting all of this in 1970's-80's Los Angeles when it feels like it takes place in the 1920's-30's also makes no sense and proves to be a total distraction.

                                        However, Mr. Church is obviously hiding things about his life, a mystery that becomes much less effective immediately because he accurately points out to Charlotte that she's being invasive and doesn't need to know about his private life. This is true, and we wish that the film knew that well enough to find more interesting routes to take. Alas, we get Charlotte finding out that Mr. Church goes to Jelly's, a nightclub that "has a history." We are told this by Charlotte but never get any answer to that mystery. It would have been a whole lot more interesting to see Church inside the club, but apparently giving the sole black character in the film any voice was too much to ask from a white screenwriter and director. We also get Charlotte's brief, extremely awkward and completely pointless visit with Poppy (Lucy Fry,) who has grown up to be a gold digging snob. This scene literally goes nowhere, save for a speech by Charlotte about how much Mr. Church has helped but that's one of many speeches exactly like this in the film, so this particular one has absolutely zero impact. Then again, so does the entire film. Absolutely nothing about this story sparks any interest or tension or emotion or anything.

                                           Murphy and Robertson are extremely talented performers. I genuinely believe I would have walked out of this film early if it weren't for them. They do everything in their power to sell this wretched material. However, even Spencer Tracy and Katherine Hepburn couldn't have sold this material. It's simultaneously bland and offensive, offering completely dated racial stereotypes and world views and giving the audience absolutely nothing to think about while watching it. Mr. Church is a film that should have never existed, not the least of which because its views on race wouldn't have even flown in the days of DW Griffith.
(1/2 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated PG-13 for thematic elements.)

Don't Think Twice Review

On the spot---Gillian Jacobs and Keegan Michael Key as a couple going through a crisis in Don't Think Twice
                   Don't Think Twice may rank among the best films about the art of show business that I have ever seen. It's a damn accurate portrayal about what it's like to choose where you want to go and who you want to be, especially when you're not the only one being affected by that choice. The film is written and directed by the incredibly talented Mike Birbiglia, who is also one of the stars. His previous film, Sleepwalk With Me, an autobiographical account of his life based on his book, was lovely and incredible and one of my favorite films of 2012. Here, he strikes gold again, bringing together an amazing cast of comedians whose chemistry is palpable from the very first second. Before we even see the improv group that the film revolves around, we feel how much they care for another from the opening narration in which each one of them takes turns explaining the art of improv.

                      The group consists of Miles (Birbiglia,) Allison (Kate Micucci,) Lindsay (Tami Sagher,) Bill (Chris Gethard,) and couple Jack (Keegan-Michael Key) and Samantha (Gillian Jacobs.) These are people with work a minute jobs by day who come into their own at night when they perform as The Commune, a group of improv comedians who all share the spotlight. However, Jack gets an offer from a popular television show which ends up dragging the group down and tests his relationship with Samantha, who declined to audition for television out of fear.

                          Looking at the main actors in the film, anyone who knows anything about comedy can instantly recognize this is the ultimate group of current comedic heavyweights. Birbiglia, Micucci, Sagher, Gethard, Key and Jacobs are all wonderful comedians and watching them share the screen together is a dream come true. One of the big strengths of the film, however, is how their chemistry not only creates a lot of laughs but is also very touching. When the group goes through a tough time, you feel it just as much as they do. Birbiglia has done a great job of creating the sense that you are actually part of this group rather than an outside observer. When this group sits down in a bar and drinks together, you feel like you are sitting right in the middle of that booth. This is also due to the fact that the cast is so likable and charismatic and brimming with energy that you feel completely invested in every characters' struggles. When Miles is happy, you feel happy as well. When Bill is sad, you feel equally sad. When Lindsay is disappointed, by god do you feel disappointed right along with her. This may also be due to the fact that, as observed by Birbiglia himself (as said by Key initially,) the idea of Jack potentially betraying his group of comedy friends is very much what Key is going through now. Being one of the biggest stars on the planet, Key may have to start doing a lot of projects without his long time comedy partner, the equally funny and talented Jordan Peele.

                          The film also gets every aspect of show business right. I'm not deep in the show business world but I know how the machine works and Birbiglia nails what it's like. The ideas of deception, sticking together, falling apart and not knowing which route to take are very much huge aspects of show business. There's no phony sentimentality in these scenes..this stuff comes straight from the heart.

                           At only 90 minutes (including end credits,) Birbiglia has now made two films where my only complaint is one I rarely have---I wanted them to be longer. I wanted to spend hours and hours with these characters. Don't Think Twice is in equal measure funny, touching, honest, heartbreaking, clever, beautiful and totally realistic. Birbiglia is a master class of writer/director/actor and I can't wait to see what his next project is.
(5 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated R for language and some drug use.)
                           

A Long Road Ahead: The Story Of Films Based On Real Events

                  So far, 2016 has been a pretty good year for film. Heck, when I was asked to pick my three favorites so far, I had to wrestle with about 15 options. Looking at the list of the films I have disliked (sometimes even hated), however, there was a theme I started to notice. Among these titles are I Saw The Light, Miles Ahead, Genius, Race, Elvis & Nixon, The Finest Hours, Papa Hemingway In Cuba and The Man Who Knew Infinity. Notice a similarity? Well, judging by the title of this post, you probably didn't need to.  These are all films that take very interesting real life events and people and reduce them to a big pile of blandness. If you had told me last year that films about Ernest Hemingway, Thomas Wolfe, Miles Davis, Hank Williams,   Srinivasa Ramanujan, Jesse Owens, the largest rescue mission in US Coast Guard history and the fateful meeting between rock icon Elvis Presley and president Richard Nixon were all going to be deadly dull, I would have laughed you out of the room. There are but two outliers in this unfortunate category---Pele: Birth Of A Legend, a charming retelling of the life of perhaps the greatest soccer player ever and Born To Be Blue, an awesome encapsulation of everything that Chet Baker was with a career best performance from Ethan Hawke.

                      But why do these two work so well while all the others fall flat? Perhaps it's just a matter of personal taste. A lot of people didn't like Pele and complained the lead was too bland. I, on the other hand, found the film engaging and sweet and found the lead really captured who Pele as a person is. Perhaps one explanation is the familiarity I have with the subjects. I studied the Elvis-Nixon meeting obsessively when I was younger, I educated myself totally on Owens, I have been a Hank Williams fanatic since time immemorial. However, I knew only the smallest outline of Baker's life and while I do enjoy the story of Pele, I have never gone beyond the basics on that uplifting tale.

                           However, this method isn't foolproof, either. I know very little about the US Coast Guard rescue mission but I found The Finest Hours to be workmanlike at best. However, it does seem like it should be more interesting to watch a story play out when you don't know the outcome. Yet, I get reminded of my favorite Roger Ebert quote. To judge the quality of a film, he always said "It's not what it's about, it's how it's about it."

                              It's also hard to say it's the style in which the film is made. Pele was a straight forward biopic that did everything right while Born To Be Blue took a completely unconventional approach that worked brilliantly. However, Miles Ahead tried to do something different and failed miserably while The Man Who Knew Infinity had such a straight forward style that it bordered on parody.

                                 Then there's the filmmakers who often drag the biopic down. Craig Gillespie directed The Finest Hours after directing a similarly bland true life story, Million Dollar Arm, which came out only a few years ago. He's set to direct a Tonya Harding biopic, which doesn't give me hope for that film. Who does the studio hire to direct a biopic of Jesse Owens, one of the greatest athletes of all time?  Why, the guy who directed Predator 2, Lost In Space and The Reaping, of course. Robert Budreau, writer-director of Born To Be Blue, was taking on his first feature length directing gig so he had something to prove and put his heart and soul into the film. Then there are veteran directors who make films about real life stories they love. A great example nowadays is Peter Berg, who directed the excellent Lone Survivor and whose new film, Deepwater Horizon, about a real life oil spill and the brave men who helped stop it, looks excellent. I also do think that a singular vision is essential for biopics. Born To Be Blue and Pele: Birth of A Legend are films that feel as if they are made by real people. The worst ones this year such as I Saw The Light and Genius, both of which  also rank among the most boring films I have ever seen, feel like films made by a committee of people sitting around a table, tired of talking to one another.

                                   I suppose the easy answer as to why there have been so many bad films from real life stories and biopics this year is that, just like any other genre of film, there are good ones and bad ones. However, I also think the problem lies with Hollywood. With so much criticism about the lack of original ideas in film, the film industry has seemed to solve that problem by telling stories about real life people. It's almost as if they threw a dart at random names in history books. If things start going on the way of Pele and Born To Be Blue, so be it. I'm just so sick of watching fascinating stories turned into shockingly boring films.

Somebody Up There Likes Me---15 Films With A 0% On Rotten Tomatoes I Actually Like

     Anyone who knows anything about the popular review site Rotten Tomatoes knows just how difficult it is to score a perfect 0% on there. Mostly every time, at least one critic steps in with a positive review, even if they're simply stating the film is not as bad as the reviews suggest. Hell, even Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 currently sits at a 5%. With the soon to be forgotten horror film The Darkness opening this weekend to a *currently* 0% rating, I thought this would be a good time to come to the rescue of 15 films with a 0% on Rotten Tomatoes that I embarrassingly (and sometimes not so embarrassingly) enjoy. Yes, I will be that one dissenting critic that some people despise. So without further ado, here we go.
(15) The Villain (1979)

 Although the 0% certainly suggests critics were not amused by this western parody starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Kirk Douglas and Ann Margaret, I find it to be a pretty damn funny skewering. Sure, it's no Blazing Saddles but it's incredibly amusing and, having come out before the latter, paved the way for one of the all-time greats. Perhaps it's my affection for weird parody (a theme that will run throughout this list) but I giggle myself silly whenever I put this one on. Plus, it never gets old seeing Schwarzenegger stuck in the middle of a western.
(14) Roller Boogie (1979)

Roller Boogie, based on a fad that understandably died out faster than you could say "I want roller skates, mom," is not exactly a well loved film. Hell, it has a 0% on Rotten Tomatoes. However, it is a very fun film. Admittedly, it may have scored that 0% because it's much more amusing nowadays to look back on this often unintentionally hilarious film and go "wait...THIS was all the rage for a little bit back in the day?" However, there's a goofy charm and good nature to Roller Boogie that I can't help but fall for. It's not what I would call a great film but there is something there that critics seemed to have missed.
(13) Zapped (1982)

Zapped is undoubtedly like a hundred other teen comedies that came out in the 1980's. Even by 1982, critics were probably so sick of them that this film got universally panned. However, this cliche comedy is also fairly charming and often shockingly funny. Starring Scott Baio and Willie Aames, this is the story of a teen who garners telekinesis and starts to utilize it in the way a teen in the 1982 totally would. This is by no means a classic but it does do exactly what a raunchy 1980's comedy should do..and does so very well. It has since earned a justifiable cult following.
(12) National Lampoon's Movie Madness (1982)

Here comes my affection for weird parodies again. Okay, fine, you got me..National Lampoon's Movie Madness isn't good, exactly. However, it does make me laugh, sometimes very hard and that's all I ask for in a comedy. With a series of sketches that parody Hollywood and the films they churn out yearly, this is a truly bizarre and forgotten comedy that has every right to be seen by anyone who shares my weird sense of humor.
(11) Rad (1986)

I don't care what anyone says at this point---Rad is a terrific little coming of age drama with all the awesomeness the 1980's had to offer. With the charming leads Bill Allen and Lori Loughin (pre-"Full House",) this is a film to be treasured and one that proves not every film has to be a brilliant work of art to be great. Rad now has an enormous fan base and there is no doubt in my mind that it is earned.
(10) Head Office (1986)

 With one of the weirdest structures of any comedy I have seen, Head Office also has its fair share of delights. Following a young graduate (Judge Reihnold) as he gets a job at a prestige company and keeps inexplicably getting promoted by the nutcases who run it, this is a damn funny film with an all star cast and a sense of humor so bizarre, you'll be as fascinated by it as you'll be laughing at it.
(9) Slaughter High (1986) 

What has since been recognized as a classic slasher still remains at 0%. Slaughter High is a crazy cool horror film about a put upon nerd who gets revenge on his nasty classmates after a prank goes terribly wrong. This isn't exactly deeply psychological horror but it does have a sense of whimsy and fun to it that make the gruesome kills all the more exciting.

(8) The Allnighter (1987)

Starring Susanna Hoffs, lead singer of rock group The Bangles and Joan Cusack, The Allnighter isn't exactly high art but it is a decent, fairly charming coming of age comedy that follows three teenage girls at a huge beach party right before their graduation. There's not exactly a whole lot going on but it manages to keep me entertained and caring all the way. 

(7) Hot To Trot (1988) 

Probably better known as "That talking horse comedy that everyone hates," I actually find Hot To Trot to be a not half bad weirdo film. Starring the incomparable Bobcat Goldthwait and the voice of the legendary John Candy, this film makes me laugh every time. Sure, it's mostly just a weird "Mr. Ed" ripoff but there's something undeniably amusing about it. Perhaps it's seeing (or rather, seeing and hearing) two great comedians together on the screen. Whatever it is (and don't blame nostalgia because the first time I watched this film was when  I was 17,) I think that 0% is completely unjustified.

(6) Repossessed (1990) 

Perhaps I should just have a meter for every time one of these films is a strange parody. With Leslie Nielsen in prime form, Repossessed is a very funny parody of The Exorcist that kids with the idea of the classic horror film in surprisingly clever ways. Sure, not every joke lands (not every one did in Airplane!, either) but there are enough gut busters to keep anyone amused for its 90 minute run time. Also, special mention to a sequence set in a gym that has me running out of breath from laughter every time.

(5) Once Upon A Crime (1991)

Directed by and with a brief cameo from the incredibly underrated Eugene Levy, Once Upon A Crime is an amusing throwback to the broad farces of yesteryear. With an all star cast including Jim Belushi, Richard Lewis, Sean Young, Cybill Shepherd, George Hamilton and John Candy (who, if I didn't mention before, I find to be easily one of the five funniest men who have ever lived,) this is a clever, fast paced comedy with laughs galore. Critics always say there's nothing worse than an unfunny comedy. However, I think if they give some of the films on this list another chance, they'll also realize that there's nothing better than a very funny comedy.

(4) Live Wire (1992)

Live Wire is a direct-to-cable thriller starring pre-Bond Pierce Brosnan that has gotten a bad wrap over the years. I feel this is mainly due to the fact that most people (myself included) saw this film after they had the Bond films to compare it to. However, not unfairly comparing the two, this is a swift little thriller that gets the job done in spades. It's not exactly the classiest or greatest thing in the world but it's fun, efficient and nicely put together.

(3) The Silence Of The Hams (1994)

A parody film so bizarre, I'm surprised it didn't garner a few "Fresh" ratings from the sheer guts it took to make it, The Silence Of The Hams stars the hysterical Dom Deluise in one of his best roles. It's a film with some huge laughs and an undeniably fascinating tone that bounces between broad parody and weird experimental film. In an age when parodies are officially dead, you'd be wise to give this one a look, if you're lucky enough to find a copy.

(2) My 5 Wives (2000)

Starring Rodney Dangerfield, who's always good for a lot of laughs, My 5 Wives is a not half bad comedy that has been unfairly panned. Following a man who tries to scam his way into a deal via religion before realizing he must look after five widowed ladies, this is a very funny film worth seeing for Dangerfield's incredible reactions alone. Also check out The Godson and Back By Midnight if you get in the mood for more underrated Dangerfield comedies. He was one of the funniest men ever, after all.

(1) Fetching Cody (2005)

Starring Jay Baruchel as a young man who travels in time to save his dead girlfriend, Fetching Cody is a strange, worthwhile science-fiction film about the things people do for love. Baruchel gives a solid lead performance while the supporting cast also impresses. It may not be for people who can't handle something truly strange but it's well worth checking out if you like this type of film.

Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping Review

Hey now, you're a pop star---Andy Samberg as egotistical music icon Conner4Real in Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping
                 In 2007, The Lonely Island, a group of incredibly talented performers made up of Andy Samberg, Akiva Schaffer and Jorma Taccone, made Hot Rod, a shockingly funny comedy that tanked at the box office but found the fan base it deserves on home video and cable. Now comes their next film, Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping, a film that made me laugh so hard so often, I feared my jaw dropping off spontaneously multiple times during my screening.

                 This is a slam dunk of a mockumentary about Conner4Real (Samberg,) an arrogant, egotistical, maniacal pop star who leaves his band, The Style Boyz to pursue a solo career. He becomes successful, with former band mate Owen (Taccone) playing as his DJ and other former band mate Lawrence (Schaffer) out of the picture. Conner even has a manager (Tim Meadows) and many others who act as his confidence boosters. However, his newest album doesn't connect with audiences and through a series of shenanigans, he even becomes hated on a personal level by many people. With everything looking down, Conner needs to find a way to revive himself.

                     What really, really, really works here is Samberg. This is definitely his movie. I mean that not only in the fact that he completely owns this role but also in that if you are not sold on him yet, this is not the film to win you over. For people like myself who love Samberg's style of humor, this is something to behold. He injects Conner with such arrogance that it's refreshing when the pop star shows his kind side and his delivery of a man who must be loved by everyone is consistently pitch perfect. As written and performed, this is likely to become a beloved comedy character. There is also a lot of clever  and hilarious stabs at the music business, from the fact that awards shows are taken too seriously to the fact that a lot of musicians will forever grasp onto that one hit to out of touch musicians who write "message songs" about issues that have already been resolved. All of these bits are done in a way that not only makes you laugh but also brings up some good points.

                          The mockumentary style is also very cleverly used. It provides a realism that makes the satire all the more hilarious. The fact that Conner4Real is presented, with a straight face, as a real person makes him even more absurd and funny, mostly because you know musicians like this do exist. Also, cameos from real musicians discussing him as if he influenced them is often very funny (although some more than others.)

                           The film does have a few problems, however. Although a good amount of the real life cameos are clever and funny, there are just too many. Just like in Zoolander 2, some of them just fall flat. It's not funny to simply say "look, it's celebrity A and they're right near celebrity B." There has to be context with the celebrity's role, which this film does often enough that it's disappointing when it really doesn't work for others. Also, not every single joke in the film sticks. Just like Airplane!, this film throws so many jokes at you, you're likely to find something that doesn't work for you. For me, a scene with the usually hilarious Maya Rudolph fell completely flat from start to finish. But the fact that I can only really think of one small bit that didn't work for me shows just how much works here.

                              The jokes stick too much and with such precision that it's impossible not to highly, highly, highly recommend. There are a few jokes that had me literally falling out of my seat from laughter. For me, a scene with Bill Hader and a running gag involving wacko paparazzi are the prime examples of that. It may not be a flawless film but I'd be shocked if Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping doesn't end up being the funniest and most clever film of 2016. Now I just hope The Lonely Island doesn't wait another nine years to release their next film!
(4 and 1/2 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated R for some graphic nudity, language throughout, sexual content and drug use.)

Born To Be Blue Review

Musically declined----Ethan Hawke as Chet Baker, the trumpet player who led a fairly miserable life in Born To Be Blue
                              Often times, biopics about musicians just don't work. Even more often, the answer as to why is very clear---they're too paint by numbers. Now comes Born To Be Blue, an incredibly inventive take on the life and downfall of Chet Baker from writer-director Robert Budreau. It features smart, layered performances from Ethan Hawke and Carmen Ejogo but it's the way in which Budreau introduces all tactics of stylistic storytelling that really elevates this material.

                                 The film follows Hawke as Baker in a very specific time of his life---when he's planning to make his huge comeback by starring in a film about his life, only to fall in love with co-star Jane (Carmen Ejogo), have the production be cancelled on a dime and fall back into his drug filled ways. Meanwhile, black and white flashbacks and inserts are used to thoroughly put the audience in the position of Baker.

                                      Hawke and Ejogo have instant chemistry, showing this real life couple as they probably were, through thick and thin and not looking back with any large regrets. However, Budreau also helps them out by cleverly telling the story of their relationship in a somewhat scrambled fashion. He doesn't show thing A happening then thing B happening and so on and so forth. Rather, Budreau will show chunks of their ups, chunks of their downs and put them together such so that there's not exactly a pattern to it all. This makes the emphasis on both sides of the coin all the more powerful. As well, Budreau shows that he has clearly done his homework by filling the story of Baker himself with all sorts of personal viewpoints. He really puts the audience inside the mind of Baker. Whether every little thing he says about Baker is 100% accurate is up for question (there's a few moments that feel exaggerated for dramatic purposes, as they often are) but knowing a lot about this story prior to seeing the film, I can certainly say he does all he can to be as accurate as possible and doesn't betray the troubles he went through.

                                             A few pacing problems aside, the film magnificently delivers on everything you hope to have seen. By the end of the film, you will also be amazed by what Hawke and Ejogo have both done. They have completely transformed into these characters, giving complete dedication to everything about who Chet and Jane were. Even with the missing front tooth and slick backed hair, Hawke especially never lets his portrayal of Chet go into caricature mode. He IS this person the entire time he's performing. This is an original, completely satisfying biopic wonderfully made by Budreau and crew and wonderfully performed by Hawke, Ejogo and the supporting players around them. It's a must see for anyone who is fascinated by Chet Baker's story or just likes music in general.
(4 and 1/2 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated R for drug use, language, some sexuality and brief violence.)

Take Me To The River Review

Family hazard--Logan Miller as a teenager in a sticky situation and Robin Weigert as his concerned mother in Take Me To The River
                     On a scale of first time writers/directors, Matt Sobel falls somewhere in the "they should be in MENSA" class of filmmakers. Right off the bat, he makes Take Me To The River, an incredibly assured, absolutely riveting drama that is much more than first meets the eye. While it may seem like very little happens here (especially by the standards of a traditional Hollywood film,) I dare anyone to watch this through anything but splayed fingers and increasingly sweaty palms. There is tension that builds with every passing moment and by the end, you just kind of have to sit there, amazed at what you just saw.

                       The story--Ryder (Logan Miller) is a well meaning teenager going to visit his enormous family in the south. He wants to finally come out as gay to them but his mother and father (Robin Weigert and Richard Schiff) assure him that may not be the best idea. One day, nine year old cousin Molly (Ursula Parker) insists Ryder come with her to play in a barn. Molly comes back screaming with blood on her pants. This leads Molly's father, Keith (Josh Hamilton) to insist that Ryder go nowhere near Molly and reveal some dark family secrets.

                          While the film may not be for everyone (Sobel seems to go out of his way to make each and every revelation be incredibly far from literal,) there is an underlying sense of dread with every reveal. This is not only due to Sobel's amazing writing and direction but also because every performance is pitch perfect. Miller is excellent as the scared young man hiding while Hamilton makes a perfect counterpart, giving Keith the kind of terrifying grit that makes you forget you're watching a performance. Parker is convincingly innocent as Molly but also provides her with a fantastic undercurrent of conniving that gives the character the edge she needs. Meanwhile, Weigert and Schiff are excellent as the parents who know Ryder did nothing wrong but can't do anything about the situation. Weigert, in particular, steals practically every scene she's in. For 99.9% of the film, I completely forgot I was watching a film and that most of these actors are people I'm familiar with.

                             Special shout outs need to go to production designer Maggie Ruder and costume designer Rebecca Luke. It's often because of what they do more than the performances or the writing/direction (not to take anything away from those, though) that this world feels so lived in. The furniture, the barns, the clothes that people wear, make this film feel 100%  authentic, which makes this situation being presented all the more tense. Cinematographer Thomas Scott Stanton is also fantastic, giving even a shot of a field of grass a creepy atmosphere that makes the skin crawl in the best way possible.

                               I must also point out that the last 35 or so minutes of this film are the most wonderfully uncomfortable I've been in a theater in a long time. Although there is tension through the entire film, the last third is what really makes this story an inventive and masterful one that builds to an incredibly satisfying and very original conclusion.


                                 I doubt there will be many films better this year than Take Me To The River. It is essentially tied for first place on my favorite films of 2016 list as of now. This is a masterpiece of filmmaking that reminded me of why the smaller films are often the ones that most get under the skin. It's not for everyone but if you want to cringe and love it, then see this ASAP!
(5 out of 5 Stars, The film is Not Rated.)

I Saw The Light Review

Broken record--Tom Hiddleston as influential country musician Hank Williams in I Saw The Light
                    I have long held the belief that a biopic is only as great as its lead. If the lead performance in a biopic fails, so falls the rest of the film. Here is a biopic whose lead performer deserves some kind of medal for overcoming the pile of garbage that has been laid out before him. Tom Hiddleston is amazing in I Saw The Light, a film chronicling the life of the undeniable king of country music, Hank Williams. The film, directed and written by Marc Abraham (whose previous film, Flash Of Genius, is a surprisingly fascinating look at the man who invented the windshield wiper), cannot even come close to equaling Hiddleston. This is a dry, dull, lackluster, stilted, incredibly cheap production that only manages to get more frustrating as it moves along. By the last half an hour, I was questioning whether or not the film was even going to have an ending.

                   The film attempts to chronicle the rise and fall of Williams, from the days in which he first started to make it big to his alcoholism to his marriage to Audrey (Elizabeth Olsen,) the wife who insists that she be part of his persona even as their marriage falls apart. All of these elements could potentially make an interesting biopic and Williams is a towering industry figure. However, Abraham makes all of this feel so disjointed, especially when the usually reliable Bradley Whitford shows up as Hank's friend and way into the record industry, Fred Rose. Rose's relationship with Williams could be an interesting one to explore but here, he's used as the exposition guy. Most of the time, Rose is shot in a documentary-style format in which he explains things that the film should have been showing.

                     Olsen is actually quite good as Audrey, but that character is so unpleasant and her marriage to Hank so uninteresting that when I started to realize it was going to take up 75% of the film, I felt the urge to check how much more of the film there was left. There's something to explore in the show business wife who ultimately just ends up using Hank to get in with the in crowd but Abraham backs down every time potential rears its head.

                    The only times the film really comes alive is when Hiddleston performs as Williams. It's astonishing to see how Hiddleston manages to sound almost identical to Williams, a man with whom distinction and extreme energy was just part of singing. Dedicated as he is, however, Hiddleston cannot save this film. There is so much fascinating stuff to explore about Williams. There is a story here that has yet to be told properly. A few years ago, The Last Ride did an equally disappointing job at telling the Hank Williams story. Perhaps Williams's story needs a filmmaker who is more meticulous. Abraham throws everything to the wall with very, very little sticking. Director Harry Thomason and writers Howie Klausner and Dub Cornett didn't exactly bat a thousand for The Last Ride, either. As a film, I Saw The Light succeeds only in being a cure for insomnia. As a way for an incredible actor to truly show off his chops, Hiddleston's performance is as good of an example as you can get. I just hope by praising Hiddleston and nothing else, I didn't make him so lonesome that he could cry.
(1/2 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated R for some language and brief sexuality/nudity)

Kill Your Friends Review

Spinning heads----Nicolas Hoult as Stelfox, an insane but persuasive recruiter for a record label in Kill Your Friends
                       Director Owen Harris and writer John Niven must have studied American Psycho, The Wolf Of Wall Street and even Vampire's Kiss among others until they knew these films like the back of their own hands. Their new film, Kill Your Friends (based on the novel by Niven) is another film about an insane businessman who manages to win over both his higher ups and the audience by being so utterly charming in his looniness. While this film may not reach the great heights of something like American Psycho or The Wolf Of Wall Street, it does manage to be a thoroughly satisfying dark comedy with a lot of tricks up its sleeve, not the least of which is Nicolas Hoult, an actor who I am more fond of when he plays the bastard rather than the hero, although he does admittedly juggle both here.

                       In the film, Hoult plays Stelfox, a man who spends his days listening to music from aspiring artists and recruiting a select few of them for the record company he works for. The very beginning narration features Stelfox talking about how only a few of these wanna be musicians will actually get anywhere in the industry and the rest are destined to be forgotten about. Stelfox will do anything to get ahead in the business, even if that includes....well, see the film for yourself.

                       On a daily basis, Stelfox seems to look around the meetings the record company has with disdain. Each and every coworker of his has something completely wrong with them. This could include Nikki (Ella Smith) being way too obese or Waters (James Corden) consistently being drugged up. A lot of what makes Stelfox charming despite his horribleness is his ability to be so completely unaware of his own many shortcomings yet zoom in on everyone else's. In this way, he reminded me a bit of a darker, more disturbing version of Steve Carrell's Michael Scott. Both are men so thoroughly oblivious about themselves that they become more likable for it.

                         The film then follows Stelfox as he tries to push his way to the top and take an aspiring young producer, Darren (Craig Roberts) under his wing. The film goes to some extremely dark places but it never feels like it's going there just for the sake of being dark. Stelfox is a legitimately messed up man and the situations he finds himself in are entirely of his own doing. It always feels as if these are the scenarios that someone like this would end up in. Harris and Niven do a great job of portraying the fact that no greater force is causing these situations, just the completely ridiculous psyche of Stelfox. Even when some situations don't work (a scene involving Rosanna Arquette as a prospective client comes to mind,) the film feels authentic. You totally believe that this man could make it far in an industry that's a complete dog eat dog world. The film also does a great job with tone. At points, it becomes so disturbing and weird that calling it a dark comedy may not even be accurate but then a fairly funny scene is waiting right there to be enjoyed a bit later. These tones are balanced fairly well considering how easily both could have screwed the other one up.

                              I can't say Kill Your Friends is by any means great. It does wrap up in a bit too tidy of a manner for this type of film and as I have mentioned, there are some scenes that just do not work. However, an excellent performance from Hoult and an extremely strong supporting cast make this film a thoroughly enjoyable dark comedy well worth seeing.
(3 and 1/2 out of 5 Stars, The film is Not Rated.)

The Bronze Review

Dead last--Melissa Rauch as a former gymnastics third place winner who has to deal with a goofy assistant (Thomas Middleditch) and a rival (Sebastian Stan) in The Bronze
                        Melissa Rauch is one of the most genuinely talented and charismatic comedians working today. She's not afraid to go for it, which may actually be the thing that works against her the most in The Bronze, a film in which she not only stars but that she co-wrote with husband Winston. Right off the bat, Rauch creates a character who is so thoroughly unlikable that it's hard to get invested in her story. Unlike something like Bad Santa, say, there's no understanding of why this person is so horrible. Willie Stokes was a miserable sad sack which was what made him a complete jerk, which made you root for him to some degree. Rauch's character of Hope Ann Gregory, however, is just aggressive for aggressiveness sake. It's also not helped that every other character in the film is either a dip shit or just plain bland.

                           In the film, Rauch plays Hope Ann Gregory, a former Bronze medal gymnastics winner (oh ha, ha) who now lives with her mailman dad (Gary Cole) and spends her day stealing money from letters in his truck and getting free Sbarro at the mall. When she hears that her former coach has died and left her a $500,000 inheritance if she coaches future gold medalist Maggie (Haley Lu Richardson.) With the assistance of put upon Ben (Thomas Middleditch,) Hope soon finds herself fighting rival Lance (Sebastian Stan,) who will forever be upset that his gold medal is nothing compared to her bronze, which she won under near impossible circumstances.

                              The Bronze isn't entirely unfunny. Cole, Middleditch and especially Stan get a few chuckles in each of their roles. However, none of them feel like real people. They feel like props who are there to deliver attempts at comedy lines, which makes the audience often feel bad for laughing at them. Even when Ben eventually pushes Hope out of her grumpiness, it never feels the least bit authentic. There are other things that could have made Hope a more likable character. I doubt any one of them would work but this relationship felt like it should have been the last idea that was thrown around.

                                The other gaping problem with the film is its raunchiness. An extremely dirty comedy can be hilarious if done properly and with wit. However, the Rauches, both major talents, seemed to think that being increasingly dirty is a barrel of laughs. Unfortunately, dirty does not mean inherently funny. When Hope cusses up a storm simply because it's the way that character is, it was incredibly unpleasant to watch. I'm sad to report that the unpleasantness I speak of is not a one or even two off part of the film. In fact, this is a consistently difficult to get through film. Even the funniest scene (an extremely fantastical sex scene) is so out of nowhere and unnecessary that it bordered on uncomfortable.

                                  Rauch is an extremely funny woman and it speaks to her talents that The Bronze is even slightly watchable. I hope that she and her husband get another chance to write a film and that they write something much funnier than this. The Bronze had the potential to be something special but Hope is far too unlikable a character to carry a film, or even make a brief appearance in a film. It's not entirely unwatchable but it comes pretty damn close.
(1 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated R for strong sexual content, graphic nudity, language throughout and some drug use. )

Oscars So Wh...Wait, No They're Not!!!

                 For the last two years, the Oscars have had only white nominees for acting. This has led to a controversy about how the voters are less inclined to vote for minority groups when it comes time. But are they really or is the finger being pointed the wrong way? It seems as though this lack of diversity issue only comes about when black actors don't get nominated for an Oscar. Hell, the three people truly speaking out against this topic are Will Smith, Jada Pinkett Smith and Spike Lee. Is there a connection to the fact that Mr. Smith did not get nominated for his performance in Concussion? A good performance, to be sure, but not Oscar worthy. Is there another connection to the fact that Lee's film, Chi-Raq was left out at the Oscars? It was a well intentioned film that should be respected but certainly not up there in the big leagues. The answer to this is a resounding "of course." This year, host Chris Rock and nominee Mark Ruffalo both have decided not to boycott the Oscars. Clearly this has something to do with the fact that Ruffalo is nominated and Rock was not  in anything set to get him a nomination in 2015. What I'm saying is that the Oscars are not a racist program but before I definitively state that, I'd like to look at the history of the Oscars to show why this is.

                The Oscars, presented by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, an organization run by a black woman, mind you, has been around since 1928. It has changed somewhat over the years but all in all, has still kept the same tune. For example, although it used to be that the Oscars straight up awarded a nominee for their body of work that year rather than a singular performance, the Academy does still do that to some degree. I'm not just talking about the honorary awards (this year, by the way, they are giving it to Spike Lee, a black man.) Rather, Jack Palance may not have won for City Slickers if it had not been for his entire field of work. The most drastic change in the Oscars over the years is their ability to honor all different types of people. Can anyone honestly say that an African American or Hispanic would have been nominated in 1930? Of course not! Nowadays, the best get honored, no matter what the color of their skin. If the Academy voters were truly racist, why have there been wins such as Forest Whitaker, Octavia Spencer, Lupita Nyong'o, Morgan Freeman, Denzel Washington, Monique, Jennifer Hudson, Jamie Foxx and Halle Berry and nominations for Gabourey Sidibe, Viola Davis, Don Cheadle, Terrence Howard, Will Smith, Ruby Dee, Taraji P Henson, Barkhad Abdi, Eddie Murphy, Djimon Honsou, Quvenzhane Wallis and Queen Latifah since 2000 alone? If the Oscars were truly racist, they'd make sure none of these nominations or wins existed.

                   This brings me to a point I'd like to express in some length. Over the weekend, I debated someone I didn't even know (they commented on a mutual friend's post) on Facebook about this subject. First, they pointed out that Idris Elba was a huge snub for Supporting Actor in Beasts Of No Nation, a film very few saw and a category with a few dozen people who could have been nominated. He also pointed out that Abraham Attah should have been nominated in the category of lead actor over Bryan Cranston's performance in Trumbo. Valid point. Cranston is a terrific actor but that performance wasn't very good. However, would more people not have replaced him with another child actor, Jacob Tremblay, an incredibly gifted performer, in Room, regardless of skin color? I mean Tremblay got a lot more talk across the world. If the argument is that they would have voted for Tremblay over Attah because of skin color then I guess most of the world is racist. Last year, David Oyelowo was admittedly a big snub for his brave and absorbing performance as Martin Luther King Jr. in Selma but the 2015 Oscars featured a couple dozen possibilities for a Best Leading Actor nomination. Oyelowo was one of many snubs that year. Ava DeVurnay, a black woman, also didn't earn a Best Director nomination for Selma but once again--stacked categories. My point is--this would be a much stronger argument if there was a performance from a minority to point out from the last two years and go--"now they gave the best performance in that category hands down."

                      The weakness of this argument also shows when this person on Facebook brought in the idea that Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu was a "token Hispanic" nomination for this year's Oscars for his direction of The Revenant. The Facebook Arguer (as I will call him from now on) said that Emmanuel Lubezki did all the work as cinematographer and Inarritu is getting none of the credit for what made that film so great. However, upon doing just a minute worth of research, I found a pile of reviews that did nothing but praise Inarritu for his direction and co-writing on the film. It's as if people who argue this topic just say what they want to hear. When I tried to point out that not enough people saw Beasts Of No Nation to really have built up its awards contention, The Facebook Arguer replied with "No one saw 45 Years and yet (Charlotte) Rampling got nominated." Okay, but 45 Years has only been in New York and LA up until the day you were arguing that while Beasts Of No Nation has been available on Netflix for months. The Facebook Arguer then declared himself the victor of the argument and even had a buddy of his back him up. What's up with people I don't know wanting to argue with me about this? It's almost like what I'm saying about this subject is so valid that it intimidates them. If these are the representatives of this debate, it's no wonder no one's taking this seriously.

                       Lastly, the boycotting of the Oscars by Will and Jada and Lee sounds much more meaningful than it is. It's not like the Academy is sitting there going "three of the thousands of celebrities who show up to this are boycotting it and may make a few of the millions of regular viewers not watch..what ever are we going to do?" In actuality, no one cares. Sure, Will and Jada and Lee have made the Academy work to diversify their voters and Rock's monologue is now going to be a speech about this topic but let's face it--it's just so they can stop hearing people whine like little children. In actuality, it's a free country, you're grown adults and no one cares what you do. Will and Jada and Lee are the equivalent of a four year old who acts up by pointing out to their mother how much they're misbehaving. To complete this article, I'd like to give you a tweet from actor David Krumholtz--"That moment when somehow, inexplicably, Hollywood isn't nearly liberal enough. #OscarsSoWhite is ridiculous and racist in itself." Indeed, Mr. Krumholtz. Now keep trying to get the Academy to throw a few token minorities into the mix, regardless of whether or not they were the best, Will, Jada and Spike.

Ten Worst Films Of 2015!!!!

Here they are, the most dreadful films of 2015. The ones that made me regret throwing my money down and sucked the life right out of me. Before I get into this list, I would like to point out that some horrible films I saw in 2015 were fascinatingly bad and therefore made me at least enjoy them a little in my own perverse way. Therefore, dreadful but interestingly bad films such as Aloha, Rock The Kasbah,  Fantastic Four, Pan and Mortdecai will not be making my list. Before I get to the list, some dishonorable mentions are in order. I regret to inform everyone that films such as Hot Pursuit, Jupiter Ascending, Seventh Son, Scouts Guide To The Zombie Apocalypse, The Maze Runner: Scorch Trials, In The Heart Of The Sea, Everest and the immensely disappointing The Good Dinosaur could not quite make the list. So here are the ones that did manage to make it on this list of disasters...
(10) Allegiant

I didn't like Divergent but I went into Allegiant with an open mind. What I got was an exercise in tedium that confirmed for me that I couldn't care less about the last installment. This is as bad an example of the problem with Young Adult adaptations as there ever will be. This is especially disappointing because there is talent in front of and behind the camera. 

(9) The Gallows 

I almost feel bad for putting this film on the list because apparently the two writer-directors (who seem like nice guys) got screwed over by the studios. This is believable since the premise had potential and a nonsensical last minute twist at least showed a hint of effort. However, the film is every stupid horror cliche you could think of involving four of the most unlikable characters put together in  a film. Unfortunately, the character who is most unbearable is the one with the camera so he doesn't just immediately scram.

(8) Paul Blart Mall Cop 2

I don't hate Kevin James like a lot of people do. In fact, I sort of enjoy the guy. He's earnest and has the ability to be extremely funny. That's why I went into Paul Blart Mall Cop 2 with a glimmer of hope. Unfortunately, I walked out of that theater with my soul crushed and a realization that Happy Madison Productions has turned James into a jerk. Seriously, for someone so likable, he sure portrays Blart as a nasty guy in this film. The first film was actually alright because James was likable and you were rooting for him. Here, you just wish he and the film would both go away.

(7) The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2

Talk about a cash grab! Although Jennifer Lawrence's other film of 2015, Joy, was pretty terrible, it at least had a few (and I mean a very few) moments of something good. With not a single exciting moment and a plot that lazily throws everything at the wall with nothing sticking, The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2 is not merely dull but shameless.

(6) Fifty Shades Of Grey

This was based on "Twilight" fan fiction that was written by a woman who has shown in interviews she probably doesn't know how to read on her Blackberry. Need I say more? Fifty Shades Of Grey was a truly deadening experience that made me yearn for the days of Twilight. 

(5) Unfinished Business 

Unfinished Business did the unthinkable in 2015. It took incredible talent such as Vince Vaughn, Tom Wilkinson, Dave Franco, Sienna Miller, Nick Frost, June Diane Raphael and James Marsden and made them all boring a-holes. A comedy with not a single laugh, this film felt like torture from beginning to end. It was a barely 90 minute comedy that felt like days. The only silver lining is it flopped which means audiences at least know what to skip sometimes. 

(4) Irrational Man 

Irrational Man was Woody Allen's confirmation that he may be smart to retire while people still remember his classics. While a lot of his recent ones have been no great shakes, this was the first time I was actually angry at an Allen film. With not a plot to speak of, this was one truly awful film that never came close to deciding whether it should be a comedy, drama, murder mystery or anything.

(3) American Ultra

This was the film that was more famous for its screenwriter, Max Landis crying like a baby over the fact that the film flopped and acting like audiences were bad people for being smart enough to skip out on this stinker than for being released. American Ultra was a horrible film (if you even want to call it that) the likes of which I had never seen before. Landis acted like it was such an original idea when it was actually just a total rip off of the TV show Chuck, a far superior property. No worries, though, because Landis proved that he was lying when he acted like he cared about original ideas in movies by writing another film that may show up further down this list.

(2) No Escape 

Just like Brooklyn was a film that very old fashioned, so was No Escape. However, unlike Brooklyn, it was for all the wrong reasons. The fact that a film this offensively racist could get made in 2015 is absolutely shocking. I like Owen Wilson and Lake Bell a lot and I think John Erick and Drew Dowdle have potential as young filmmakers. However, this was an incredibly unpleasant sit from start to finish and one that I only wish I could take back.

And hands down the worst film of 2015 is....

(1) Victor Frankenstein

What an unholy mess this was! After American Ultra flopped, Landis went on Twitter and acted like he cared about the lack of original ideas in Hollywood. What's the next screenplay under his belt? Victor Frankenstein, a completely unoriginal abomination of a film that makes me cringe to even think about. Of course, Landis even attacked The Revenant and Leonardo DiCaprio and Tom Hardy personally on the day this film's embargo was lifted. I have a feeling he realized what a stupid film he had written and wanted to get attention for something else. When the first line of your film is Igor (Daniel Radcliffe) admitting how unoriginal the film is, you have a problem. This was an experience where I felt like I was going to die every second. The only good thing to come out of this film was a second major flop written by Landis in 2015. Soon enough, not even riding on daddy's coattails will keep little Max in Hollywood. Congratulations, Max Landis, you can't write an even somewhat competent screenplay if your life depended on it and the only reason you are allowed to make the studios lose all this money is because you have a dad who made some decent films a long time ago.

There they are, the worst films of 2015. Let's hope 2016 features a lot less films like these and another huge flop penned by Max Landis to end his career.