Eddie Murphy spent four years out of the spotlight, not making a single film in that time. Why he read Susan McMartin's mopey, dumb, overly explanatory and downright offensive script to Mr. Church and decided it was the thing worth coming back to acting for is one of many completely incomprehensible mysteries surrounding this film. Perhaps Murphy knew it would allow him to shine when nothing else does, which the film indeed accomplishes. Besides Murphy's incredibly deep and lovely performance and a decent one from Britt Robertson, this is a drama that pretends to be syrupy sweet when it is just mean at its core. This is not helped by the fact that writer McMartin and director Bruce Beresford (a talented director who did this film much better when it was called Driving Miss Daisy) seem to think that the audience needs every little thing explained to them. Before I jump into the plot summary, I feel the need to explain just how much this film explains in plain detail.
At one point, Charlotte (Robertson,) now pregnant (from whom we never find out nor do we care) gets hit by a skateboarder. Fearing that she and the baby may not make it, town drunk Larson (Christian Madsen,) clearly holding a big bottle of whiskey and a thing of pills, drives her to the hospital despite the fact that he has had his license taken away for drunkenly killing a child with his car. Later, he's getting married (which is explained as it is shown) and Larson tells Charlotte "If you didn't get hit by that car, I was going to end it for good by shoving whiskey and pills down my throat." I don't actually know if that's the verbatim quote, but it's at least extremely similar. Why this needs to be explained is completely confounding. We clearly saw that he had a lot of whiskey and pills in his hand. Do McMartin and Beresford assume any audience member is stupid enough to go "Oh, he must be in a lot of pain and headed to a dinner party, hence the whiskey and pills." This is but one of many examples in which this film is shockingly offensive. It's also offensive to its own characters, but more on that later.
The film follows Henry Church (Murphy,) who starts a relationship with young Charlotte (Natalie Coughlin,) who at first despises the cook and shows this by behaving ways in which no child her age could possibly behave. But Charlotte ends up liking him, even borrowing books from his "library" and gaining a love for classic literature that, once again, no child her age would possibly gain. Charlotte grows up to be a college student headed to study in Boston. She manages to watch her mother (Natasha McElhone) survive her disease for much longer than the doctors estimated, goes to prom with Owen (Xavier Samuel,) who she explains is both handsome and sweet, qualities that we could have found out without being told them and getting pregnant out of wedlock. Setting all of this in 1970's-80's Los Angeles when it feels like it takes place in the 1920's-30's also makes no sense and proves to be a total distraction.
However, Mr. Church is obviously hiding things about his life, a mystery that becomes much less effective immediately because he accurately points out to Charlotte that she's being invasive and doesn't need to know about his private life. This is true, and we wish that the film knew that well enough to find more interesting routes to take. Alas, we get Charlotte finding out that Mr. Church goes to Jelly's, a nightclub that "has a history." We are told this by Charlotte but never get any answer to that mystery. It would have been a whole lot more interesting to see Church inside the club, but apparently giving the sole black character in the film any voice was too much to ask from a white screenwriter and director. We also get Charlotte's brief, extremely awkward and completely pointless visit with Poppy (Lucy Fry,) who has grown up to be a gold digging snob. This scene literally goes nowhere, save for a speech by Charlotte about how much Mr. Church has helped but that's one of many speeches exactly like this in the film, so this particular one has absolutely zero impact. Then again, so does the entire film. Absolutely nothing about this story sparks any interest or tension or emotion or anything.
Murphy and Robertson are extremely talented performers. I genuinely believe I would have walked out of this film early if it weren't for them. They do everything in their power to sell this wretched material. However, even Spencer Tracy and Katherine Hepburn couldn't have sold this material. It's simultaneously bland and offensive, offering completely dated racial stereotypes and world views and giving the audience absolutely nothing to think about while watching it. Mr. Church is a film that should have never existed, not the least of which because its views on race wouldn't have even flown in the days of DW Griffith.
(1/2 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated PG-13 for thematic elements.)
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