Parker Review

Dull is his name, killing is his game---Jason Statham and Jennifer Lopez are on the run from some psychos in Parker
                          Parker may be the worst film Jason Statham has ever appeared in. It's certainly the most boring. The film is directed by Taylor Hackford, an excellent director who just doesn't know what action scenes are supposed to look like. This is his first action film and you can see why he's never attempted one before. The violence is either too over the top or with too little happening. There is never that middle ground that I want when I go to see a Statham film. It's one thing to be comic in your violence...it's another thing to be just plain gross. Despite honest efforts from Statham, Nick Nolte and Michael Chiklis...the film fails on all levels.

                         In the film...Statham plays Parker who gets thrown out of a car and shot by his fellow robbers. These robbers are led by Chiklis and feature talents such as "The Wire"'s Wendell Pierce and the prolific actor Clifton Collins JR. Nolte plays a friend of Parker's who informs him that they'll come and find him since he didn't actually die when they shot him. Jennifer Lopez is awful as a real estate agent who helps Parker. Patti LuPone is unwatchable as Lopez's wacky mother. The whole film really doesn't need explaining because Statham films aren't met to have plots. That is, however, exactly the problem with this particular film of his.

                         I'm not one of those people who need action in their films. However, when I go to see a film of Statham's you better believe I want some good action. This film is mostly build up of Statham attempting to act (because let's face it---he's charming but he can't act for his life) mixed with a few really bad action scenes at the end. At 2 hours, the film runs out of steam long before the final credits roll. In fact...I had to check my watch because I was so bored and was terrified to realize I was only 45 minutes in. Yes...it's that kind of movie.

                        With no real reason for existing except to make money...Parker is a major disappointment even by January standards. Sure...just like everyone reading this I didn't expect anything good to come out of an action film released in January. Still...give me something that isn't so painful.
(1/2 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated R for strong violence, language throughout and brief sexual content/nudity)