The Hunt Review

Tough stuff----Mads Mikkelsen as a man accused of statutory rape by a little girl in The Hunt
                           The Hunt is the most well made and yet most difficult to sit through film this side of Salo or Irreversible. You sit there frustrated about the situation at hand and yet I can't honestly see people walking out or not saying this is an incredibly well made and performed film. It's very difficult to review this film without making it seem like something you may not want to see. However, I will directly inform you that this is a great film.

                           The film stars Mads Mikkelsen as Lucas...a lonely school teacher whose life is slowly getting worse and worse. His life hits rock bottom when Klara (Annika Wedderkopp)...a student of his tells another schoolteacher that Lucas raped her. The whole town soon finds out and Lucas is completely alienated.

                            The toughest thing about watching this film hands down is that the film only shows Lucas's nice side. By doing this....we the audience HAVE to believe that no such thing took place. In fact...throughout the film...Lucas is abnormally calm about what's happening to him. Also...as people who believe that no rape took place, the audience will get increasingly mad at Klara as she lets this whole thing spiral out of control despite her many chances to stop it. Lastly---the film is very difficult to watch because the whole town turns into monsters themselves. Whether Lucas raped her or not....the town is being awful to him.

                             However, the film is great in many aspects. Mikkelsen, as always, brings a less is more approach that seems to always work for him. However, it is especially suitable for this role. He manages to give Lucas more life and sympathy than anyone else could. Also...Wedderkopp in her first role is fantastic. Even if we hate Klara for what she's doing...this actress is going far. Writers Tobias Lindholm and Thomas Vinterberg give the audience tons of dynamite dialogue and a must see ending that is worth the price of admission alone. Also...Vinterberg, serving as director provides the film with many cool visual tricks that actually help elevate the story.

                              The Hunt is an indescribably tough film to sit through. However, if you're willing to muscle through it...you'll find a very rewarding experience lying ahead. Mikkelsen is particularly excellent but the whole cast and crew should be proud of what they did. This is truly a film that shouldn't be missed.
(4 and 1/2 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated R for sexual content including a graphic image, violence and language)

Girl Most Likely Review

To bore?-----Darren Criss as a potential love interest to a failed, once promising playwright (Kristen Wiig) in Girl Most Likely
                                          Girl Most Likely is the most predictable, ridiculous and dumb film I have seen in years. I wouldn't even have minded making this statement had the film not been full of typical, stale sitcom scenarios. This is a film that features very appealing actors doing very unappealing things. It is obnoxious, insulting and beyond cliche. When film professors teach their class how not to make a comedy or a drama...they should show their students Girl Most Likely. The dramatic moments ring completely false and there is one (1) funny moment throughout its overlong 100 minutes.

                                           The film stars Kristen Wiig as Imogene...a once promising playwright whose boyfriend (Brian Petsos) dumps her. In an attempt to win him back...she overdoses on sleeping pills and ends up back in the care of her sleazy mother, Zelda (Annette Bening.) When Imogene arrives back to Zelda's home in Ocean City, New Jersey....she discovers that her mom has a new boyfriend named George (Matt Dillon) and a mysterious man named Lee (Darren Criss) is living in her room. She also attempts to reunite with her brother, Ralph (Christopher Fitzgerald)...an eccentric but smart inventor.

                                             I really like all the actors involved in this film. I love directors Shari Springer Berman and Robert Pulcini's incredible debut, American Splendor. However, here...no one feels like a real person. They all just feel like cardboard cut outs of sitcom characters. This can be put on writer Michelle Morgan whose only other work is the shockingly funny slice of life comedy Middle Of Nowhere. Here...it seems as if Morgan was just picking random cliches out of a hat. The stuff involving George is supposed to be funny but falls completely flat. Then again...so does the rest of the film. The character of Ralph is meant to tug at the heartstrings but just ends up being irritating. Imogene is supposed to be a sympathetic character but is just obnoxious. Zelda is supposed to be someone to root for after a while but is always trashy in the audience's eyes. The only character I liked was Lee. Granted...he didn't feel like a real person, either. However, Criss brings a likability to the role that I can't imagine anyone else bringing to Lee. I'd love to see Criss in a far better film sometime. Better yet...I'll say that this whole film should have been about him.

                                                 The film's jokes aren't funny in their set up to begin with. They all feel like they should be on Everybody Loves Raymond or Roseanne and not on a film that you pay 10 dollars to go see. However, the jokes are made worse by the fact that none of them really have a punchline. They are all told until eventually they die out from being so unfunny. Example...there is a montage scene of Ralph trying to fit in the fast paced world of New York City. He does this by walking around both in and with a metal turtle shell that he made. This is not a funny idea to begin with. I mean...anything can be funny but this doesn't have much potential to start with.  This is made worse by the fact that there's really no joke here. He walks around in and with the shell until the directors realize that the audience is getting bored and then it stops. This is a summary of every attempted joke in the film.

                                                   To put it gently....Girl Most Likely is not merely a bad film but an intolerable one. I honestly can't see anyone in their right mind enjoying this garbage. Every second is flat and the film is really depressing for a comedy. Yet...at the end of this film...writer Morgan tries to cover up the depressing tone with a conveniently out of left field upbeat ending. A message to Ms. Morgan---your film didn't work in the first place so don't expect audiences to be happy with a happy ending.
(1 and 1/2 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated PG-13 for sexual content and language)

                                               

Fruitvale Station Review

The saddest story ever told----Michael B Jordan and Melonie Diaz as Oscar and his girlfriend, Sophina in Fruitvale Station

                                   Fruitvale Station is the most gripping film anyone is likely to see in 2013 or for years to come. It's a film that is incredibly difficult to watch but also expertly performed and totally rewarding in its own right. There's an intensity throughout the film where no one really knows what's going to happen next even if they know the story. That intensity should keep everyone at every showing of this film glued to their seats. It's a powerhouse film from first time writer-director Ryan Coogler. 

                                    In the film...Michael B Jordan plays Oscar Grant...an ex-convict who is trying to get his life together and work hard for his family. His girlfriend, Sophina (Melonie Diaz) and his mother, Wanda (Octavia Spencer) are still weary of his future. His daughter, Tatiana (Ariana Neal) loves him with all her heart. No one can blame Tatiana for not being weary, either. For one...she's too young to fully get his situation. Even more to the point...Oscar is incredibly caring to Tatiana and tries to be the best father he can be. The film takes place on New Years Eve 2008 and some on New Years Day 2009. There is one scene in the film that flashes back to 2007 that is so expertly performed and heart breaking that I practically burst into tears. Anyway...the film builds up to the devastating shooting  by police officers of Oscar at a subway stop. If this weren't based on a true story...this would still be one of the saddest films that I have ever seen.

                                       Jordan is amazing here. He makes Oscar into such a sympathetic character while also showing just how flawed of a person he is. He manages to show every emotion he needs to without everyone going overboard. This can't all be said to be because of Jordan, however. Writer-Director Coogler assures that Oscar never be let off the hook for all his flaws even though he's obviously a pretty decent guy. Diaz is fantastic here as she show just how much Sophina desires for Oscar to get his life together. We all know Spencer is a terrific actress and this film is no anomaly. She shows all the care that Wanda has for Oscar while simultaneously displaying the skepticism only a mother's love could bring. Neal is also phenomenal here as the smart daughter who's still too young to understand Oscar's struggles and loves him no matter what.

                                        The film is expertly written by Coogler---giving the script an intense vibe especially since anyone who knows the story knows what's coming and is therefore terrified to see what is to come. The direction is also fantastic. The look of the film is so authentic that you feel as if you're smack dab in the middle of these people's lives. The film is also all the more sad due to the fact that Coogler shows that nothing Oscar did on the day leading up to the shooting was particularly out of the ordinary. 

                                           I've always believed that it takes a big man to admit that he cried and dammit---I'd be lying if I said I wasn't bawling as I walked out of the theater for Fruitvale Station. I honestly can't complain about the film at all except to say that it is incredibly tough to watch. I'm just hoping that despite this being a summer release---when the Academy Awards roll around...the Academy won't forget this truly remarkable film.

(5 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated R for some violence, language throughout and some drug use)

Only God Forgives Review

Silence!----Ryan Gosling as a cold blooded and silent killer out for revenge in Only God Forgives 

                               Only God Forgives might be the worst film made by a group of talented people that I have ever seen. The film is so painfully hard to watch that I was tempted to walk out. However, I stuck through until the end and I think I temporarily died while doing so. Let me put it this way----think of the most boring and hardest to watch film you can see. Now---think of something that's 1000X more boring and 100000X harder to watch. You just thought of Only God Forgives. This is not merely a bad film but an excruciating one. This is the kind of film that is made for nobody. I can't honestly imagine anyone enjoying any second of this disaster.

                              The film stars Ryan Gosling as Julian...a drug pusher whose brother---a pedophile and complete sociopath is killed after beating up a teenage prostitute. It is then that his mother, Crystal (Kristin Scott Thomas) tells Julian to avenge his brother's death. Also...there is a lot of stuff about incest. It's not even implied, either. It is directly stated that both of Crystal's children had carnal relationships with her.

                               The film is written and directed by Nicolas Winding Refn...the guy who previously directed Gosling in the good but overrated Drive and did the amazing Bronson as well as the superior Pusher trilogy. Here...he proves that even great directors have bad days. I didn't love Drive liked I loved the other four films I've seen of his (I amazingly have yet to see Valhalla Rising) but at least that was cool. This film is just disgusting. It was so disgusting in fact that I literally had to take a shower the second I got home from seeing it. However, I wouldn't have minded the ickiness of it all had it been contextual but it's not.  Every scene is just another random scene without context for something brutal to happen. In fact..there are really no two scenes that actually fit together.

                               The performances (if you can even call them that) are awful. Gosling barely utters a word and still manages to make Julian the dumbest character in film history while Thomas is phoning it in like never before. It's not like these aren't two great actors, either. Both Gosling and Thomas have been fantastic in far better films. Here, however, they're obviously just bored. The direction by Refn is awful...lending unnecessary shots of gratuitous torture which---once again---would have been fine had it been contextual. Refn's script is also quite lame...giving the actors nothing to work with except to stare down long hallways and get killed. 

                                 I feel like I can't end this review, however, without talking about a torture scene that takes place in a karaoke bar. If you still want to see this film after having read this review...I will just say it involves the removing of two essential body parts. This scene is Only God Forgives in a nutshell...a film that is disgusting and impossible to watch without context and a pretentious film that thinks it's much cooler than it is.

(0 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated R for strong bloody violence including grisly images, sexual content and language)

                

The Conjuring Review

Things that go bump in the basement----Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga as demonologists Ed and Lorraine Warren in The Conjuring

                                           Here's a perfect example of potential that goes down the drain. The Conjuring could have and should have been an exceptionally creepy horror film. The problem is that, despite some excellent acting and an adequately creepy first half an hour...it gets bogged down in its own boring genericness. It's the kind of film that even knows it's cliche and tries to cover that up by presenting the typical idea at hand somewhat differently. Unfortunately, director James Wan and writers Chad and Carey Hayes don't do a good job of covering this up...at all. 

                                           The film stars the always reliable Ron Livingston and Lili Taylor as Roger and Carolyn Perron---a couple living with their children in the 1970s. When their children begin to see things...Carolyn suspects something is actually up while Roger thinks they're just hallucinating. On a limb....they decide to call demonologists Ed and Lorraine Warren (the also always reliable Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga.) These particular demonologists are the kind that try to completely debunk your belief. There's even a scene in the film in which they tell another couple that the creepy noises they're hearing are because of the pipes. However, they can't debunk the fact that something freaky is going on in the Perron's house.

                                             Like I said...the first half an hour of the film is adequately creepy. This is the set up before the plot actually starts to gain its footing. It is creepy because you don't know when the plot is actually going to come in full force. However, once the plot kicks in...I knew every scare that was coming and exactly how the scare was going to be set up. Rather than giving audiences the same old jump scares...why not try something a bit more inventive? The film also features way too many conversations about what's going on rather than telling us what's actually going on. Soon enough it just becomes tiresome and drawn out. Speaking of drawn out...the film is way too long. At 110 minutes...there were easily 20 minutes that could have been shaved off. Also...I hate to sound cynical but I feel as if the "based on a true story" stamp was just a way to sell tickets. I'm very in tune with the fact that both the Warrens and Perrons were real people but did ALL of this really happen? I don't think so. Lastly----there was too much an arc with Ed and Lorraine about how Ed doesn't want Lorraine to go through the same thing she experienced at one of their last exorcisms with the Perrons. That arch just got annoying. I don't go to a horror film for a story about a skeptical husband looking out for his wife---I go to be terrified which I rarely was. 

                                                There are a few things that almost saved the film for me. The acting is phenomenal. Livingston and Taylor make interesting and likable people to root for and go all in when need be. Wilson is simultaneously suave and suspenseful as a man who might have something else beside investigating the Perron's house up his sleeve. As well...Farmiga brings just the right amount of cool and creepy to her role. Also...despite being like any other horror film...one of the ways that they tried to cover up that fact was actually pretty cool. The method in question was making it feeling quaint. I liked that it felt more like Laslo Benedek's The Night Visitor or Robert Altman's Images rather than Sinister or Texas Chainsaw. 

                                                  These things, however still could not quite save the film for me. It's definitely the best of the three films that opened this weekend but that's not saying much. The script is still too lazy and generic for its own good. Perhaps next time...Wan and The Hayes Brothers will try for something a bit more out there.

(2 and 1/2 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated R for sequences of disturbing violence and terror)

                                   

                      

Pacific Rim Review

Man's labyrinth----Idris Elba as the boss to a man (Charlie Hunnan) who fights monsters in Pacific Rim

                            Pacific Rim is one of those films that relies far too heavily on the awesome premise at hand. The difference between Pacific Rim and 99% of the other films that are like that is Pacific Rim delivers for the most part. The film is fun and intense even if after the fifth or so monsters vs. robots throw down...you get exhausted. We get it---this is cool stuff---no one has to keep reinforcing it because we know how cool it is already. For people who aren't into robots or monsters...this will be more of a nap for you. For the others who are into one or both of those things...you'll feel like a kid again. I can't say I loved the film but I can say I enjoyed about 70% of it.

                            The film stars Charlie Hunnan as Raleigh....a man who is working for Stacker (Idris Elba) to help stop the invasion of kaijus. He gets paired up with an unlikely partner named Mako (Rinko Kikuchi) seeing as you need two people to control the robots that fight off the kaijus. If you're wondering what kaijust are...they are giant, lizard like monsters who come from deep below the ocean. Meanwhile, Dr. Newton Geiszler (Charlie Day, in the most inspired casting choice of all time) tries to stop the kaijus himself. He goes so far as to meet up with a black market dealer, Hannibal Chau (Ron Perlman, another inspired casting choice) to buy a kaiju brain.

                           Hunnan is kind of bland in the lead role and his voiceover at the beginning that allows the wheels to be set in motion has no energy. However, for what he has to do...he gets the job done. Elba is great as the strict boss and Kikuchi does some fine work as an unlikely fighter. Day, however, steals the show. He's so wacky as a scientist that it's funny and yet kind of believable. He provides some much needed comic relief. His stuff with Perlman is great as is all his solo stuff. I salute the casting director for going with such an odd choice. 

                            The robots vs. monsters brawls are pretty incredible albeit exhausting. I saw this in a huge IMAX theater and I can tell you right now that if you don't see it in IMAX...you're simply not getting the full picture. Of course...having seen it in IMAX...I also had to see it in 3D. The 3D isn't Wrath Of The Titans bad but it does become a bit much on the eyes. Like I said...the film does get a bit redundant after the fifth or so throw down but it still manages to mostly work.

                             I can't say that I loved Pacific Rim. It does have its fair share of problems (a bland lead, odd pacing, ETC.) However, as directed by the master himself Guillermo del Toro...it is shockingly good sometimes and never appallingly bad. I would say try to find a fairly inexpensive IMAX theater to get the full experience and not have to spend that much money on a not great film.

(3 and 1/2 out of 5 Stars...The film is rated PG-13 for intense sequences of sci-fi action and violence throughout, and brief language) 

Red 2 Review

One film, two film, red film, bad film-----Bruce Willis and Catherine Zeta Jones as an agent out of retirement and his old flame in Red 2

                                       It actually makes sense that a film about retired CIA agents would get old really fast. It also makes sense considering that this is a sequel. Between Red 2 and Grown Ups 2...I honestly can't decide which of the last two opening weekends had a more unnecessary sequel. While Red 2 is not half as bad as the latter....it's still one of the laziest, most tedious films I will ever have to sit through. Bruce Willis got a lot of hate for coasting in A Good Day To Die Hard. I, however, will be surprised if he doesn't get more hate for coasting in Red 2. It's not even that Willis is coasting. It gets to the point where I was willing to bet money that writers Jon and Erich Hoeber and director Dean Parisot just found Willis sleepwalking in the middle of the night and worked the whole production around what he said and did. Yet.....it's not even that Red 2 is a particularly bad film. More so...it's that it's a really, really, really boring one. 

                                       The film "stars" Willis as Frank Moses....a retired CIA agent who is brought back in by one of his old partners...the undeniably cuckoo Marvin (John Malkovich.) Frank's wife, Sarah (Mary Louise Parker) wants to be brought in on the action while Frank just wants to avoid it. The plot then involves some kind of bomb involving a scientist (Anthony Hopkins), old partner of Frank and Marvin's Victoria (Helen Mirren), an evil military specialist (Neal McDonough) and a killer for hire (Byung Hun-Lee.)

                                       This is an impressive array of people they brought in. Mirren, Malkovich, Parker, McDonough, Hopkins, Hun-Lee and Willis have all been great in better films. However, here...they seem to be just going through the motions until that paycheck comes along. The writing is egregious and the direction is pretty bad itself. Every joke falls flat and the action scenes are filmed in such a cartoony manner...it's hard to enjoy them.

                                        Look...I'm well aware that this is based on a graphic novel and that it SHOULD be cartoony. However, when you have great actors phoning it in and a plot that is dumb but not even enjoyably so...that's where I cross the line. Also...Hun-Lee---great action star that he is---partially ruins the fun of the first film. The fun of the first film was the fact that it showed old people kicking butt first and asking questions later. Now...Hun-Lee comes in and it completely contradicts that whole joke. Even the bad guy in the first one was an old guy (Richard Dreyfuss precisely.) I'm not saying Red 2 is an unmitigated disaster...I'm just saying there's better things to do with your time and money this weekend.

(2 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated PG-13 for pervasive action and violence including frenetic gunplay, and for some language and drug material)

RIPD Review

    Dead on the floor---Ryan Reynolds, Mary Louise Parker and Jeff Bridges as cops in the afterlife in RIPD 

                                 When I first saw the trailer for RIPD....I admittedly thought it looked pretty awesome. Sure...I could tell it was going to be a Men In Black rip off but the thought of a veteran actor like Jeff Bridges being paired with the very charismatic Ryan Reynolds seemed to make me excited. After having seen the film itself....all I can say is I was dead wrong. This is a shockingly bad film. It's not just bad, though....it's incredible lazy. There is nothing here that a toddler couldn't have written with some crayons and construction paper. It's not like we needed this but it could have at least been entertaining. It fails in every aspect possible. The jokes fall flat, the action is weird and hurst the eyes and the chemistry between Reynolds and Bridges is non-existent. It is a mistake that should have never happened.

                                   In the film.....Reynolds plays Nick...a 15 year cop from Boston whose partner, Hayes (Kevin Bacon) kills him during a shootout. It is then that Nick is transported to the Rest In Peace Department. He is greeted by a proctor (Mary Louise Parker) who assigns him to work with Roy (Bridges.) Roy shows Nick the ropes of catching monsters who disguise themselves as humans and hide out on Earth.

                                   Let's start with the writing by Phil Hay and Matt Manfredi. These are the two men who also wrote the Clash Of The Titans remake and Aenoflux. Naturally....if I knew these men were the writers of the film...I may have backed off entirely. Yet...their first time writing was on the excellent romantic drama Crazy/Beautiful back in 2001. Perhaps it's because they weren't trying their hand at an action film that their first film was so good.

                                    Now...the direction by Robert Schwentke has to be discussed. Schwentke did the first Red film as well a Flight Plan. Obviously this man knows how to direct a decent action film. He's actually the contrary of Hay and Manfredi because when he tried to do a romantic drama (The Time Traveler's Wife to be exact)....it didn't work at all. I want to say that Schwentke's direction isn't even bad here and that the lazy writing just makes everything seem bad. However, that would be giving the film too much credit and letting Schwentke off the hook too easily.

                                    Also...I generally like Reynolds and Bridges as actors. Bridges is obviously far superior to Reynolds but I think Reynolds and Bridges both have an excellent charisma to them. However, they don't work well together here. It's not their fault, though. They haven't worked together before and the script doesn't allow for them to get to know each other. Therefore....the chemistry is non-existent between them because they're obviously not used to being around one another. 

                                     The monsters also all look fake. There's no life to them. It's your standard CGI and it gives the film a very inauthentic feeling. There's nothing in RIPD that works in fact. I chuckled at the sight of where they hide their organization the first time I saw it. However, they don't show it again until towards the end and by that point...I really didn't care anymore. Bacon is hamming it up and brings nothing new to the table and the whole film is redundant and shallow. I'm sorry if this review was a bit of a rant but I really want to enforce that RIPD is truly a film that should be missed by all.

(0 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated PG-13 for violence, sci-fi fantasy action, some sensuality, and language including sex references)

        .

White House Down Review

It's the bomb---Channing Tatum as a man who must save the president (Jamie Foxx) from an attack in White House Down

                                   Two months ago....the theaters at the cineplex were playing a Gerald Butler film called Olympus Has Fallen. For all of the hate that I give Butler (and I think deservedly so)...I really enjoyed that film. Now comes White House Down....a film that follows the same plot and still manages to be a bit better than its predecessor. The film stars Channing Tatum and Jamie Foxx...two men who have been moving up on my "they have a lot of charisma" list and is directed by Roland Emmerich who has been moving way down on my "he's a decent director" list. Granted...he's made some good films (The Patriot, Eight Legged Freaks, The Thirteenth Floor) but most of his work has been garbage (Trade, 10000 BC, 2012, Anonymous, The Day After Tomorrow.) Here...Emmerich reminds us that he can in fact be a good director. However, writer James Vanderbilt must also take a lot of credit in why this film is so entertaining. He's written action films that range from personal favorites of mine (The Rundown, The Amazing Spiderman, Zodiac) to ones that are very much guilty pleasures for me (Basic, The Losers.) White House Down would fall on the guilty pleasure side but it may just be the guiltiest pleasure of them all.

                                 In the film...Tatum plays Cale...a policeman who takes his politically obsessed daughter, Emily (Joey King) to The White House. He takes her there not only to prove he's a good father but to get an interview with Finnerty (Maggie Gyllenhaal) for a job to be one of President Sawyer (Jamie Foxx)'s bodyguards. When the interview falls through....Cale finds himself stuck inside The White House when a group of hackers and criminals take it over. Cale then has to fight them off and sees this as a possible way to earn the job.

                                  Tatum and Foxx work extremely well together here. Their banter is in turns very funny and intense and even during the funny bits...the film keeps you on the edge of your seat. The two main villains are Stenz (Jason Clarke) and Tyler (Jimmi Simpson.) Stenz is a thug who is assisting Tyler in getting his name cleared from The White House's most wanted list. Clarke and Simpson are perfect as the villains. Clarke plays a tough guy very well as many people saw in last year's Zero Dark Thirty and Simpson always never seems to play a true villain. Sure...he's creepy on "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia" and he's a convict on "Breakout Kings" but I don't think I've ever seen him in a truly villainous role. The closest I've come to that is him in Date Night. Anyway...Richard Jenkins and James Woods are quite good as fellow politicians and the film is very suspenseful although you know exactly what's going to happen.

                                  Anyone can compare this to Olympus Has Fallen as much as they want...I'm not stopping them. However, by doing so...they would be missing out on two very entertaining films and yes...I'm sticking to my guns that White House Down is one star better. There may be smarter films with more life lessons to come out this year but as far as plain dumb fun goes...you won't get a better film than White House Down.

(4 and 1/2 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated PG-13 for prolonged sequences of action and violence including intense gunfire and explosions, some language and a brief sexual image) 

Grown Ups 2 Review

Punch drunk hate---David Spade and Adam Sandler as reuniting buddies in Grown Ups 2

                                   I'll be the first to admit it----I enjoyed the first Grown Ups for what it is. Sure...it was a bad film but it was at least pleasant to sit through. Now....the much unneeded sequel is here and it's really bad. Sure...it's not the worst film of the year so far. It's not A Haunted House or Scary Movie 5 unbearable but it's a comedy that contains only two real laughs---both of which are from Taylor Lautner. If you still want to see this film after reading that...you are part of the destruction of humanity.

                                    The film has no real plot. It's just another excuse for Adam Sandler and his buddies to sit down and crack jokes that only they get. Like I said...at least the first one was pleasant. One of the main reasons I think that is because the chemistry between Sandler and his buddies was palpable. As much of a lazy effort or cash grab it was...you could see that everyone was having fun. Here...everyone except Sandler seems to be embarrassed and mad at themselves. I'm thinking that perhaps everyone owed Sandler a favor. 

                                     Within the first minute of the film....a deer urinates on two (2) people. Right then and there---I knew I made a mistake by spending my five dollars and 100 minutes sitting in the theater. I generally don't judge a film by the first minute. I like to give every film I see a fair chance to prove to me that it's at least slightly worth my time and money. However, when you open your film with a deer urinating on people whose mouths just hang open when the deer does so....you can't seriously expect me to not know what I'm in for.

                                       Unfunny cameos include untalented actors such as Shaquille "I'm a great basketball player but an awful actor" O'Neal, Nick Swarsdon and Jon Lovitz. However, very talented people such as Tim Meadows, Colin Quinn and Cheri Oteri show up for completely brain dead cameos. Also...there is a car wash scene involving male cheerleaders played by the likes of Andy Samberg, Will Forte, Bobby Moynihan and Taran Killam. Are every one of these people either so desperate for money or owing so much to Sandler or director Dennis Dugan that they had to appear in this film? It's sad because they don't even try to tell many jokes outside of the poop and fart range throughout the entire overlong 100 minutes. Why wouldn't they actually try something clever with such talented actors/comedians involved? I guess director Dugan and head writers Sandler and Fred Wolf don't have it in them anymore.

                                          I actually saw this film in a packed theater and the only laughter I ever heard was the two mild chuckles I got from Lautner. When you have Chris Rock....one of the top three funniest and smartest men in the world being out shined by Jacob from the Twilight films...you know you're in some serious trouble.

(1/2 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated PG-13 for crude and suggestive content, language and some male rear nudity) 

The Way Way Back Review

Certainly not watered down----Nat Faxon, Sam Rockwell, Liam James and Maya Rudolph as water park employees in The Way, Way Back

                                          The Way Way Back is a film that knocked me off my feet and then some. If there is a film that ends up surpassing this as my favorite of 2013...I would be amazed. Not only is this wonderfully written and directed by  the Oscar winning team of Nat Faxon and Jim Rash but it's incredibly well performed by its extremely gifted cast. Also,,,I would be lying if I didn't point out that this is one of those rare films that actually got me choked up. Add this to Brian's Song, The Great Escape and Into The Wild as a film that managed to make me cry. However, unlike those three...I cried at The Way Way Back because of how touching and uplifting it was...not because it was sad.

                                            The film stars newcomer Liam James (who has a long, bright career ahead of him if these kinds of performances keep up) as Duncan. He wants to stay with his dad for the summer but ends up with his mom, Pam (Toni Collette) and her amazingly harsh boyfriend, Trent (Steve Carrell.) When I say Trent is harsh I don't simply mean harsh. Rather, I mean that he is a disgustingly cruel and unsympathetic character. Right off the bat...the film tells you "whatever you do---don't like this guy." Upon having to deal with Trent....Duncan sneaks off to a water park to be depressed for a few hours. There...Owen (Sam Rockwell)..the owner of the park introduces Duncan to the employees and enlists him to work at the park. Duncan accepts and soon charms employees such as wacky water slide watcher Roddy (Faxon) and fed up but accepting boss Caitlin (Maya Rudolph,) Soon....Duncan realizes that this water park might be just the change he needs and develops a romance with next door neighbor Susanna (AnnaSophia Robb.) 

                                               The writing is incredibly razor sharp and gives the whole film an authentic feel that is in turn extremely funny and very touching. James is phenomenal here as an awkward but sweet kid just trying to fit in. Collette gives Pam a very sympathetic side as we see what she is going through. Carrell plays a jerk that makes Michael Scott look like Clark Kent very well. Faxon and Rudolph have some nice moments. Robb is the perfect girl next door figure. Finally...Rockwell is phenomenal here. What can I say about him that hasn't already been said? This performance follows a long line of films such as Confessions Of A Dangerous Mind, Moon and Seven Psychopaths that prove just how amazing of an actor Rockwell is. 

                                                 Writers-directors Faxon and Rash also direct the film with style. This is their first directing job (although they won the writing Oscar for last year's The Descendants...the fantastic Alexander Payne directed it) and considering this fact...they are quite amazing. Actually, I think this film is 100 times better than The Descendants (which I also loved.) As far as Faxon and Rash's careers...they're only just beginning.

                                                  Although it is a summer release and those tend to get lost in Oscar season....if this film doesn't win at least a couple of awards...the academy is robbing a truly great film. Fantastically made and even more expertly performed....The Way Way Back should be a magical experience for even the most cynical, cold hearted souls.

(5 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated PG-13 for thematic elements, language, some sexual content and brief drug material) 

The Bling Ring Review

Celebrity hunting---Katie Chang, Emma Watson and Taissa Farmiga as part of a group of burglars in The Bling Ring
                           There's a scene early on in The Bling Ring that was reminiscent of last year's excellent The Perks Of Being A Wallflower. This scene involves Marc (Israel Broussard) lucking into a group of female friends after a rough day first of high school. He is called a loser and pushed around until Rebecca (Katie Chang) lets him into her group of cool, hot females. This alone would sum up the main problem of this film if it weren't for the fact that the film is based on a true story of how this exclusive group of friends started robbing the homes of many celebrities. Marc is supposed to be a loser for the first 10 minutes of the film and he is. However, once he joins the "cool" females---he's supposed to be considered cool. In actuality---neither the females nor Marc are cool. Anyone who watches this film and doesn't automatically think "what sad, pathetic, unlikable, completely dumb losers" about all five of the main characters was probably asleep during the film. This is not a movie so much as an excuse for five actors (only one of whom is actually well known) to try on clothes and for writer-director Sofia Coppola to watch. I will admit---I am in the minority of critics who thought Coppola's last production, Somewhere was one of the worst films of 2010. I'll also admit that I found The Bling Ring to be a bit better (it does at least spew out minimal social commentary) but not by much. Coppola's best work comes in the form of a brilliant drama called Lost In Translation which is, ironically, where she is in her career right now.

                              I've already explained the practically non-existent plot. I will say the little social commentary that is in the film is arguably about how idiotic celebrities are. They rob Paris Hilton's house eight times simply because Paris always leaves a key under the mat even when she is gone. Other than that---Coppola is not so much making a point as she is forcing nonsensical ideas down the audience's throats.

                               The acting is decent considering that the characters are so unendurable and none of the actors except Watson are well known. However, judging by this film---none of the four no names are going to get more work anytime soon. Watson---as much as I love her---gives the worst performances in the film. She is generally a great actress with a stunning face. Here---she doesn't look good and she makes the character of Nicki into a complete monster. It's one of the first times ever I wanted to flat out tell a woman to shut up.

                                The script is lazy and keeps doing the same thing. We get it---these kids are morons---now move on. There is a hint of potential in the script but it is unhinged by all of its flaws and how redundant it is. I mean---even the actors look bored although they really don't have to do anything except talk weird and try on clothes.

                                  The Bling Ring is completely pointless. It's not one of the worst films of the year as you do get to laugh at just how moronic these teens are at certain points. It is, however, a complete waste of time and money. If you are fascinated by the story and don't want to watch a news report on it---wait to watch this movie where it belongs---on basic cable at 2 AM.
(1 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated R for teen drug and alcohol use, and for language including brief sexual references)

Despicable Me 2 Review

So bad they're good---Gru (Steve Carrell) must assist Lucy (Kristen Wiig) on a mission to stop a villain in Despicable Me 2
                               With incredibly disappointing animated films such as Epic, Monsters University, Hotel Transylvania and The Croods having been released in the past year....I had a bad feeling that Despicable Me 2 was going to be bad. I am glad to report that I was very wrong. I actually really liked the first Despicable Me. It wasn't Pixar level or anything but it was a film that both children and their parents should have easily enjoyed. The sequel, while not as fresh and fun as the first one still manages to get its job done. Sure...this is not top of the line but even Pixar has a bad film out so it's definitely the safest bet for a film that both of them can enjoy.

                                  The film once again follows Gru (Steve Carrell.) Now raising the three girls from the first film and enjoying life as the boss of the Minions...he finds out there is yet another mission he must complete. He is told this after Lucy (Kristen Wiig) takes him to an underwater layer that is the home of the AVL or Anti Villain League. The AVL is run by Silas (Steve Coogan) who tells Gru that there is a bad guy who just stole an entire navy base. Now...Gru and Lucy must work together to find out who this bad guy is and what their motivation is.

                                    The voice work is pretty perfect. Carrell once again makes an excellent Gru...really laying on the accent this time which makes it even funnier. Wiig is very good at giving her character some spunk. Coogan has very funny dead pan delivery as the leader. Of course...everyone comes to these movies for the Minions and they pretty much deliver. I say pretty much because there is a story arc in the later half that prevents them from being in it as much. However, when they are on screen...they are very funny.

                                      Although the film's plot does make the plot twist pretty obvious....it's still engaging to wonder whether or  not Gru and Lucy actually have enough combined power to save the day. There's also a very nice chemistry between these two. They're partners who obviously have deeper feelings for one another and the film makes them work realistically.

                                       When all is said and done....this is actually a pretty solid film. Like I said....Despicable Me 2 isn't as refreshing as the first one nor does it have the pizzazz that had. However, I don't think the cast and crew were going for anything mind blowing. They just wanted to make yet another fun family film that both kids and their parents can enjoy and in that...they succeeded.
(3 and 1/2 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated PG for rude humor and mild action)

Kevin Hart: Let Me Explain Review

Not such a stand up job---Kevin Hart performs stand up for his fans in his newest theatrical special Kevin Hart: Let Me Explain
                                      I'll admit it...I am a Caucasian male who thinks Kevin Hart is one of the funniest men alive. However, that opinion may change after watching the desperately unfunny theatrical release of his newest stand up special entitled Kevin Hart: Let Me Explain. This is a forced, mostly unbearable production that has much lower quality than his cable specials do. Yet this somehow got released theatrically.  The first 20 minutes of the film aren't stand up but Hart going around showing how famous he is. This is one of the most self indulgent things I've seen in a film in the past few years. Hart is a very, very, very funny man but once we get to the stand up....it's not much better. Mostly---this stand up consists of Hart not realizing that if he makes weird noises and screams all his material that it's bad material nonetheless.

                                      In this film...he plays at Madison Square Garden. Being that he's one of the few comedians to ever play there....the film could have used a lot more emotional stuff involving how happy Hart is to be there. However, the audience gets four fairly funny jokes, one incredibly mean spirited and unnecessary joke and 20 minutes of self indulgent crap. The four jokes in question which involving the topics being late for work, a secret phrase a friend made, Hart getting caught lying about being in another country and a weird trip to a ranch are all even a bit too long. It seems as if Hart needed this to be a feature length film so it wouldn't go straight to cable. He figured the only way to do that was to extend the jokes as far as they can possibly extend without having people walk out of the theater.

                                      He simply has no good material to work with here. These four jokes take up about 15 minutes of an hour long stand up special. Then the audience gets to hear an incredibly mean-spirited, quasi-explosive rant in which Hart goes off on a fan he met in an airport. We, the audience, get where he's coming from on this joke but it's so cruel for Hart to even bring it up in the first place that when he says what he says about the fan...we don't laugh...we cringe. Speaking of cringing...every few minutes...the film shows us a shot of the audience cracking up. Why? That's the same as having a laugh track on a sitcom. I don't want to be told when to laugh...I want to laugh at what I think is funny.

                                      Also...Hart does this thing where he randomly has fire come up in his show. Was this supposed to be for comic effect? It's just stupid and adds nothing to the stand up. Oddly enough...Hart's last stand up theatrical special, Laugh At My Pain ran 90 minutes and everything in it added to the film. There was no randomly adding stuff on just to make it longer and damn was it funny. Now...Hart takes a step backwards and has his newest one last 75 minutes with way too much filler stuff. It's almost as if Hart NEEDED to have this out ASAP. I don't think he needed the money but something must be going on where he just had to force out a film to make some quick cash.

                                     This stand up special also features Hart doing something no comedian should ever do. In the middle of a joke about bums...Hart takes about five minutes to laugh at his own joke rather than tell the rest of it. This is almost like him saying "look at how funny I am...I can laugh at my own jokes." As with the rest of Kevin Hart: Let Me Explain....it wasn't funny or necessary...it was just plain dumb.
(1 and 1/2 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated R for pervasive language including sexual references)

The Lone Ranger Review

This is it, Kemosabe---Johnny Depp and Armie Hammer as a pair of mismatched crime fighters circa the old west in The Lone Ranger
                                          The Lone Ranger has a spectacular final 20 minutes and a good set up for the story and what is to come at the beginning. However, in the middle...The Lone Ranger is a train wreck. It's not just any train wreck, though...it's the most bizarre train wreck anyone is likely to ever see. I'm talking way beyond  Under The Rainbow or Ballistic: Ecks Vs. Sever status. In other words, the final 20 minutes are awesome, the first 5 minutes are good and everything else becomes more and more fascinating as it becomes weirder and weirder.

                                           The film stars Armie Hammer as John Reid...a law enforcer in the old west who is on a train one day and realizes that escaped convict Butch Cavendish (William Fichtner) is on the same train. Cavendish has taken Tonto (Johnny Depp) hostage and Reid comes bursting in. Unfortunately, he looks like a fool by letting both Butch and Tonto escape. Then..through events I will not say because I actually do recommending you see this film due to how fascinatingly bad it is...John and Tonto become a team. They then set out for justice by taking down Butch and his crew.

                                            The film is directed by Gore Verbinski who is exactly like Tim Burton. This is because as with Burton, Verbinski did some solid films (Mousehunt, The Mexican, The Ring, The Weather Man) early on in his career and now relies too heavily on Depp to accept the lead in his next film. I don't really see why either of these directors rely on Depp so much. Maybe it's to the directors's faults but Depp has mostly been playing the same character for the past decade. Barnabus Collins, Jack Sparrow, Mad Hatter, Willy Wonka,Tonto and even Frank Tulepo have all been excuses for Depp to have a lot of make up on and act wacky.

                                             Barring Depp's repeat performance....all the performances are fascinatingly bad in this. Hammer seems to be trying his best to put on a southern accent but ends up sounding like a mix of Elmer Fudd and James Van Der Beek in Varsity Blues. Fichtner doesn't even try to be menacing and it shows. Usually a great (and may I add incredibly underrated) actor who can pull of creepy very well...he completely phones it in here and his villainous manners come off as more hilarious than weird or eerie. Tom Wilkinson...another great actor plays a man who has a big part in building The Transcontinental Railroad and he comes off as just plain weird in this making the film very uncomfortable whenever he's on screen. Barry Pepper shows up as a fellow villain and his character wasn't needed at all although Pepper is so over the top it is fun to watch him. Lastly...Helena Bonham Carter is the most unattractive eye candy in film history. She is so strange looking that it's no wondering her character was introduced and then thrown off the screen for an hour and a half.

                                             As with everyone else...the film's length did bother me. At 2 and 1/2 hours...the film does get tedious fairly easily. The film could easily had been cut down by at least 45 minutes. The setting and look of the film is admittedly cool although about 2 hours of the film would have been helped by a lot more action and story development. However, those last 20 minutes are quite cool. Still....The Lone Ranger tries so hard to give off an authentic feeling and tell a realistic story that it quickly becomes a train wreck. However, I'd be lying if I said it wasn't an utterly fascinating train wreck that everyone should go see at least once.
(2 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated PG-13 for sequences of intense action and violence, and some suggestive material)
                 

A Glimpse Inside The Mind Of Charles Swan III Review

Bi-losing---Charlie Sheen and Bill Murray as a man whose life is in ruins and his agent in A Glimpse Inside The Mind Of Charles Swan III
                                                It's appropriate that Charlie Sheen's newest film has a long title like A Glimpse Inside The Mind Of Charles Swan III because the 80 minutes you may spend watching this film will feel like an eternity. If you have not seen this film yet and are reading this review---keep on reading so I can tell you just how much of a train wreck it is. This is not so much a film as it is a lot of smart people attempting to set the record for most brain dead idea ever. It keeps trying to shove down the audience's throats how smart and daring it is. Eventually---that aspect becomes like that kid in high school who talked about how many parties he went to until you realized he only talked about such because in actuality he went to no parties. In other words---if the film weren't so dumb and playing it so safe it wouldn't have to keep trying to show you how smart and daring it is. It would just let itself play out naturally. After having watched all of the dreadful, cringe inducing 80 minutes...I am having a hard time writing this review due to how many brain cells I lost in the process of viewing this garbage. If you are able to sit through this entire film without checking your watch at least five times...you are truly a strong person.

                                               The film follows Charles Swan III (Charlie Sheen)...a graphic designer who has it all---wealth, fame, women, friends, respect...anything you can name. That is until his girlfriend Ivana (Katheryn Winnick) breaks up with him and leaves his life in a downward spiral. It is then that he tries to find out where he went wrong with the help of his best friend, Kirby (Jason Schwartzman) and his agent, Saul (Bill Murray.) Other talented people involved in the making of this awful production include Patricia Arquette, Stephen Dorff, Aubrey Plaza, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Dermont Mulroney and, of course, writer-director Roman Coppola.

                                                It would be very easy to write the film off as boring except that would be letting it off too easy. A film that causes such a migraine as this one does can't be boring. If you sit there, dreading every minute of what is to come...it's not boring. It is, however, embarrassing for everyone involved. Charlie Sheen is not so much acting as playing himself. All the rest of the actors are there because (A) they want the money and know they don't have to work for it after having read the script and/or (B) they owe Coppola a favor. In other words...no one even tries to make this film any good.

                                                I don't think I'll know exactly what went wrong in this production. I can just wrap it up as being quite possibly the worst film I have ever seen. Actors and directors generally can only make three films at the very most a year. After all---it is an incredibly long process. So for such smart people to make such a pile of garbage is just cringe inducing to sit through. They should have thought of the bigger picture. If they needed the money---they could have made a good film that would obviously take a bit longer to make than this junk. That way---they wouldn't run the risk of committing career suicide. If they owed a favor to Coppola---be in his next film---not this one. There were ways to get out of such an embarrassing project. Unfortunately---I think I am giving the people involved in said project too much credit for being smart if they didn't realize that fact.

                                                 I was tempted to stop watching the film altogether but then I thought with all the talent both in front of and behind the camera...something redeeming must be coming if not just in the final few minutes. Alas----nothing came...just the screams of a man who has witnessed the most audaciously awful film he has ever seen.
(0 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated R for language and some nudity)