Friday, March 4, 2016

The Bronze Review

Dead last--Melissa Rauch as a former gymnastics third place winner who has to deal with a goofy assistant (Thomas Middleditch) and a rival (Sebastian Stan) in The Bronze
                        Melissa Rauch is one of the most genuinely talented and charismatic comedians working today. She's not afraid to go for it, which may actually be the thing that works against her the most in The Bronze, a film in which she not only stars but that she co-wrote with husband Winston. Right off the bat, Rauch creates a character who is so thoroughly unlikable that it's hard to get invested in her story. Unlike something like Bad Santa, say, there's no understanding of why this person is so horrible. Willie Stokes was a miserable sad sack which was what made him a complete jerk, which made you root for him to some degree. Rauch's character of Hope Ann Gregory, however, is just aggressive for aggressiveness sake. It's also not helped that every other character in the film is either a dip shit or just plain bland.

                           In the film, Rauch plays Hope Ann Gregory, a former Bronze medal gymnastics winner (oh ha, ha) who now lives with her mailman dad (Gary Cole) and spends her day stealing money from letters in his truck and getting free Sbarro at the mall. When she hears that her former coach has died and left her a $500,000 inheritance if she coaches future gold medalist Maggie (Haley Lu Richardson.) With the assistance of put upon Ben (Thomas Middleditch,) Hope soon finds herself fighting rival Lance (Sebastian Stan,) who will forever be upset that his gold medal is nothing compared to her bronze, which she won under near impossible circumstances.

                              The Bronze isn't entirely unfunny. Cole, Middleditch and especially Stan get a few chuckles in each of their roles. However, none of them feel like real people. They feel like props who are there to deliver attempts at comedy lines, which makes the audience often feel bad for laughing at them. Even when Ben eventually pushes Hope out of her grumpiness, it never feels the least bit authentic. There are other things that could have made Hope a more likable character. I doubt any one of them would work but this relationship felt like it should have been the last idea that was thrown around.

                                The other gaping problem with the film is its raunchiness. An extremely dirty comedy can be hilarious if done properly and with wit. However, the Rauches, both major talents, seemed to think that being increasingly dirty is a barrel of laughs. Unfortunately, dirty does not mean inherently funny. When Hope cusses up a storm simply because it's the way that character is, it was incredibly unpleasant to watch. I'm sad to report that the unpleasantness I speak of is not a one or even two off part of the film. In fact, this is a consistently difficult to get through film. Even the funniest scene (an extremely fantastical sex scene) is so out of nowhere and unnecessary that it bordered on uncomfortable.

                                  Rauch is an extremely funny woman and it speaks to her talents that The Bronze is even slightly watchable. I hope that she and her husband get another chance to write a film and that they write something much funnier than this. The Bronze had the potential to be something special but Hope is far too unlikable a character to carry a film, or even make a brief appearance in a film. It's not entirely unwatchable but it comes pretty damn close.
(1 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated R for strong sexual content, graphic nudity, language throughout and some drug use. )

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