Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2 Review

Vamped out-Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart return as Edward and Bella in Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2
                     I am so indescribably happy. As a film critic and a guy who goes to every movie out there....I am excitedly reporting that I will never have to see another Twilight film again. These two hour soap operas disguised as vampire films have wasted hours upon hours of my life but it is no more. As well---I am glad to report that Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2 is not the worst you can do watching a movie. This year---we have had Savages, Rock Of Ages and the god awful remake of Total Recall to name a few so this film will actually not be making my top ten worst list.

                     Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart return as Edward and Bella...still married and still horrible actors. Taylor Lautner is continuing to have no real emotion on his face as Jacob and now they all must fight together to go up against the evil Volturi led by the insane Aro (Michael Sheen.) Sheen's performance is actually pretty good. Sure...he's completely over the top and ridiculous but he's obviously having fun doing this role and he gives it his all. The always reliable Lee Pace plays a Nomad named Garrett and is thoroughly intriguing in his role.

                    This film does not gives us anything particularly great. In fact...I grew weary long before it was over. However...there is a cool final action sequence and the film is not as dreadfully one note as the previous films have been. It's never too unbearable and it does give us some decent scenes between Edward and Bella as long as other characters. In fact...I admittedly kind of liked how they wrapped up the Twilight saga. It was a good way to give the audience a "see ya" without going too sappy or boring.

                 I can not say anything really works here but it does provide more entertainment value than all the previous films combined.  Sure---I'm still happy this series is over and I can't recommend this film at all but it did have a few individual things I enjoyed and that's enough for me.
(2 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated PG-13 for sequences of violence including disturbing images, some sensuality and partial nudity)

                         

Top 10 Films Of 2012

                                        I published my top 10 favorite films of 2012 to Facebook leaving two in particular out. That I will get to later. I have compiled this list to spread the wealth of all the great films that have come out this year. This is a list of 10 films that I think people should have seen this year if possible. With the exception of a few (including my favorite)....there was no excuse for people to seem most of these films that I consider to all be quality film making.
(10) Argo This is one of the two that I left out. I am sure many people are going to have this higher on their list. I thought although it lost its footing a couple of times....it was a movie lover's movie and a great piece of film making. Ben Affleck proves yet again that he is a quality director as well as a fantastic actor. This is a great film but not worthy of any spot but 10.

(9) Easy Money A truly great underground thriller....this film shows the rough and tough world of criminal rings. The film is extremely difficult to watch in many parts but that is the point. It shows what it's like to be a criminal and that is the whole point. Another underground crime thriller----Headhunters almost topped this list but I felt as if I could only choose one crime film.

(8) 21 Jump Street  While this film is not an Oscar caliber film like many on my list...it is fantastic for what it is...a comedy. It provides laughs galore and builds on a potentially dumb plot. It is also the funniest film I saw all year and therefore makes my top 10 list.

(7) Flight Denzel Washington and Don Cheadle once again both prove to be great actors who never pick a bad role in this phenomenal drama. With the most suspenseful scene I have witnessed all year...this is a thrilling film that gets you gripping onto your seat right from the get go.

(6) Cabin In The Woods The other one that I left out which I could have gotten in had I thought for a couple seconds more...this is the most inventive film I saw all year. It is a clever mix of horror and comedy that works as both a hilarious parody of all the cliches in horror films nowadays and a creepy horror film in and of itself. With a great cast and excellent direction...this is one film that should not have been missed by anyone.

(5) Lincoln Daniel Day Lewis may get yet another Oscar win for playing Abraham Lincoln in this flawless biography and you know what...I'm okay with that. The excellent supporting cast including Tommy Lee Jones, Sally Field and the flawless James Spader and the amazing direction by Steven Spielberg help this to be the fantastic film it is.

(4) The Perks Of Being A Wallflower Anyone who is in high school or has been through high school can relate to this film. This film is the best high school comedy this side of John Hughes. The acting is outstanding and the script is quick and witty. It may not be the funniest high school comedy this year (21 Jump Street takes that honor) but that's only because it's the most touching and tender and therefore the best one.

(3) End Of Watch Like a more realistic episode of "Cops"...this is a funny, touching, thrilling and altogether fantastic film that tugs at your heartstrings while you are on the edge of your seat. How this film was not seen by everyone on Earth is beyond me. With all the crap that has been coming out in wide release..it is nothing short of a miracle that films like this still get wide release.

(2) Silver Linings Playbook There is no other way to put this...this film is so close to the number one spot I can't stand it. However---there was one film that was just slightly better this year. If you have been reading my reviews consistently and/or have talked to me about film...you know what that is. With instantly palpable chemistry from Jennifer Lawrence and Bradley Cooper and touching supporting performances from Chris Tucker, Jacki Weaver and Robert De Niro....the film never gets too mushy or into too much romantic comedy territory and for these reasons is an amazing piece of film making.
(1) Killer Joe As previously mentioned...anyone who has talked to me about film and/or has read my reviews constantly knows how much I love this film. With a stunning performance from the previously unreliable Matthew McConaughey and amazing supporting performances from Emile Hirsch, Juno Temple, Thomas Haden Church and Gina Gershon and a witty and daring script by Tracy Letts as well as fantastic direction by the almost always reliable William Friedkin...words can not do justice to how much I love this film. I might as well stop typing because I will not get my point across as to how great this film is. I will end this by saying that this film is now available on DVD and Blu Ray and you should see it right away. In fact...don't Netflix it because despite how brutal it is (which is what makes it so great)...you will want to watch it again and again.

The Guilt Trip Review

Mother and child reunion-Seth Rogen and Barbara Streisand go on a cross country road trip together in The Guilt Trip
                         The Guilt Trip is that rare film in which the trailer has nothing on the film itself. Upon watching the trailer for this---I thought "this looks dreadful." Upon watching the film itself---all I can say is that it's one of the funnier, more likable comedies I have seen this year. Sure---it's no Silver Linings Playbook but The Guilt Trip just plain works.

                      In the film---Seth Rogen plays Andrew Brewster who just invented a new product and is desperately trying to get companies to buy it. On his way to more interviews---he visits his mother, Joyce (Barbara Streisand) and decides to take her on a cross country road trip for more than one reason.

                      The chemistry between these two is instantly palpable. They are obviously having fun with one another and play well off one another. When Joyce says something completely inappropriate---Andrew is right there with a very funny response. Rogen has always been one of my favorite comic talents while Streisand has never been one of my favorites. I'll admit---she's talented but I've never loved her in a film. That is until now. While Rogen is very, very funny here---Streisand plays what could have been a cliche character and does wonders. She is in equal parts sweet and funny and reminds every member of the audience just what she is capable of.

                      This is also one of those feel good films where if you don't get the message of the film you are either (a) completely dumb or (b) completely cynical. The film is very sweet but not in a syrupy or over-the-top way. Rather---it makes us feel for the characters at hand and gives us people to root for.

                       In the midst of Oscar season...it's nice to just sit down and watch a funny comedy. While it may not be a fantastic film....The Guilt Trip certainly fits that bill. It works on almost all levels a comedy should work and makes the audience think twice about their relationships with their mothers.
(3 and 1/2 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated PG-13 for language and some risque material)

Django Unchained Review

Kill fill-Christoph Waltz and Jamie Foxx are a couple of bounty hunter in Quentin Tarantino's Django Unchained
                    Django Unchained is a film for the film fan in all of us. It is a great film with movie references galore. It's like that one friend who was obsessed with movies and always made tons of film references and you had fun hearing him list off a reference to every film ever made. The film can not be described as an action film because that would be cutting it short. It's more like a piece of art that could only come from the mind of a genius. In fact---it did come from the mind of a genius. Quentin Tarantino---the master of all things violent and fantastic has proved yet again that he is quite possibly the smartest man working in Hollywood today. He wrote and directed this masterpiece and by these standards---you can see why he keeps making movies.

               In the film---Christoph Waltz plays Dr. King Schultz...a bounty hunter who hires a slave named Django (Jamie Foxx) to help him with his bounty hunting business. He does this because Django's wife (Kerry Washington) has been held as a slave by Calvin Candle (Leonardo DiCaprio,) and his assistant Stephen (Samuel L Jackson.)

               The performances are the key to the film. Although Waltz and Foxx are two of my favorite working actors today and are great in the film---DiCaprio and Jackson give the two best performances. DiCaprio is obviously having a blast and that gives the audience a reason to do the same and Jackson gives his best performance in years. In fact...Jackson definitely deserves an  Oscar nomination for his brilliant performance here. The film is more fun in its comic violence than this year's The Man With The Iron Fists and there is a very funny scene involving none other than bags. The film is also the most visually awesome film you are likely to see this year. The fact that the film looks exactly like an old spaghetti western doesn't even begin to describe the ways this film looks cool. Also---the way it takes its ludicrous plot completely seriously is much of the fun.

             Although the film could have been shortened by 15 minutes (it is, after all, 165 minutes)....Django Unchained lives up to the hype. It is funny, smart, cool, thrilling, fun and need I go on? I've seen many great films this year and this one adds to the reason why I need to think for a long time about what's going to be in my top 10.
(5 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated R for strong graphic violence throughout, a vicious fight, language and some nudity)
                 

Rust And Bone Review

He's got a leg up on her-Matthias Schoenaerts as a man who falls for a double amputee in Rust And Bone
                Well---it's the end of the year and that means I am making my best and worst list. Good thing I saw the new Belgian film Rust And Bone before making the latter. This is a disgusting little film that in equal parts mocks the handicapped and women. It is a truly despicable piece of work with the most unlikable male lead I have seen this side of Hannibal Lecter. Nothing works about this film and when I say nothing I mean nothing. It is garbage. It reeks. It makes sitting through every other film I have seen this year seem like a cakewalk.

               The film stars Marion Cotillard as Stephanie---a killer whale trainer who suffers a terrible accident and becomes a double amputee. She then meets Ali (Matthias Schoenaerts)---a completely misogynistic jerk who sleeps with multiple women and asks for sex from Stephanie not only after she has lost her legs but when they barely know each other. This starts a relationship in which we are supposed to believe that Stephanie sees even the slightest bit of charm in this guy,  He is the lowest common denominator form of scum and never gives the audience any reason to root for him. He's even awful to his very young son.

               The film never reaches past the point of "oh---there's a woman with no legs--you *the audience* should all stare in disgust." This would be insulting enough as is but then the audience is supposed to believe that an attractive woman like Stephanie would never get any guy except for this jerk after she has lost her legs. Perhaps the film may not have been so grossly offensive had it not been for the fact that Jacques Audiard had directed it. He has done three previously beautiful films---A Prophet, The Beat My Heart Skipped and Read My Lips. Now---he presents us with this ugly piece of trash that gives the audience no one to root for and nothing to be engaged in.

                 Upon watching Rust And Bone---I felt like I was watching that one rare car crash that I can look away at but I am forced to sit and watch. It is nothing more than a mockery of people---especially females and the way they live their lives. Why must these films be green lit? Well---I know many are going to enjoy this film as an art house picture. That may be a reason. However---those people also probably don't mind making fun of people with disabilities or an awful script or terrible acting or a completely unrealistic film or you know---being in pain.
(0 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated R for strong sexual content, brief graphic nudity, some violence and language)

This Is 40 Review

Wouldn't it be nice if we were younger?-Leslie Mann and Paul Rudd as an "aging" couple in Judd Apatow's This Is 40
                            Knocked Up may be the best comedy-drama I have seen in the past 10 years. It was such a perfect mix of the two genres that I can't see how anyone didn't like it. Now---there's This Is 40---being advertised as the "sort of sequel" to Knocked Up. However---while Knocked Up thrived on its own inventiveness and charm---This Is 40 falls flat under the weight of its own recycled ideas and plot. In fact---even the final scenes of This Is 40 feel exactly like the final scenes of Knocked Up. It's not even that I want to compare the two (although director Judd Apatow does ask for this comparison to occur)----it's that This Is 40 is a bad movie on its own terms.

                          The film follows Debbie (Leslie Mann) and Pete (Paul Rudd.) You know---they were the other hilarious couple in Knocked Up. As the film starts---Debbie finds out Pete has had to take a Viagra to have sex with her and Debbie is turning 40. Pete's 40th birthday is also quick approaching and they try to relive their glory days while raising their two very different daughters (Maude and Iris Apatow.)

                           I think if I were a bit older and could relate to these situations I may enjoy this a bit more. As I was watching the film...a man leaned over to his wive multiple times and asked "look familiar?" At the end of the film..they both found the film thoroughly enjoyable. However---I am not this couple. I am still in my younger years and have yet to get married or have kids. Is it such a crime that I wanted to laugh? I only really laughed once. This laugh comes from Chris O'Dowd as Ronnie---Pete's coworker at their record label. Let's just say Ronnie describes a neon sign and why it was not a smart investment. Melissa McCarthy---a comic force is in a couple of scenes that could have been funny but end up being just plain uncomfortable. Albert Brooks and John Lithgow play Pete and Debbie's dads and they have never seemed more desperate to get a laugh from the audience or a good performance from themselves. Also---Jason Segel and Robert Smigel---two of the funniest men working today bring nothing to the table as Debbie's personal trainer and Pete's friend and biking buddy.

                          Like I said---the film may have worked better had I been able to relate to these scenarios. There is nothing here that a 40 or even 30 year old will not like. However---This Is 40 was a desperate attempt to bring back the excellent chemistry that Mann and Rudd had in Knocked Up. The film is too long and with---as previously mentioned---only one real laugh. I will say that people under 30 should not see it because it will feel more like a cautionary video like the ones you see in driving school than a film to them. All the people over 30--you may enjoy it but it also may hit way too close to home for you.
(2 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated R for sexual content, crude humor, pervasive language and some drug material)

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey Review

Dwarf and dwarfer-Bilbo Baggins (Martin Freeman) must help a group of dwarfs in The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
                            From the visually stunning 2005 remake of King Kong to the underrated gems Dead Alive and Meet The Feebles---Peter Jackson has proven himself a great director. Now he takes on the world of JRR Tolkien's The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey. We have been hearing about it for quite a while and fan boys and general audiences alike have been getting pumped up for it. In fact---on the weekend when Skyfall opened and The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2 was going to open the next week...The Hobbit reigned supreme in Fandango sales. Now---is it worth all the hype and excitement? No---not at all.

                           The film is an incredibly long endurance test that moves like molasses and is Jackson's first film that manages to be neither visually stunning nor exciting. The film follows Bilbo Baggins (Martin Freeman)---a hobbit who must help a group of dwarfs get back their stolen mountain home. Freeman is decent here but I feel as if this character could have used a more intense personality and less of one that feels as if it came out of a Friedberg-Seltzer parody film. The whole film is like this in fact. It manages to both look and feel both like it's trying to impress the audience too much and yet it also feels as if it's making fun of the very ideas it's presenting.

                             The whole beginning scene with Ian Holm and Elijah Wood also falls flat. It feels like a scene that was added in just so a few more actors could get a decent paycheck. The whole film actually feels like an excuse for people to get paychecks. I say this because they are screwing people into paying for the next films---one of two sequels in the works. Why are they making audiences sit through another one? Well----without giving too much away,.,,the ending is not so much an ending as a to be continued sign. The ending does not wrap up the movie and actually makes what the audience just watched confusing to them. Therefore---the audience must watch the next film to answer all their questions.

                              The film is way too long. At two and a half hours (not even including the endless credits)---there are simply too many scenes in which nothing happens. People walk, people talk but the audience is not excited in the least. There is not a single scene in fact that feels authentic or exciting. Also---the appearance of a mysterious creature named Gollum is annoyingly pretentious.

                               Where did Jackson go wrong? Perhaps he was too confident in himself. Perhaps he thought maybe he didn't even need to try. Perhaps there is simply no reason to make a live action film version of The Hobbit. I think the latter is correct. There was no possible way I can think of to make the dwarfs look even slightly normal in live action and the general story line isn't fit to a two and a half hour movie. Even if you're a fanboy---there is no reason you need to see The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey in anywhere but the comfort of your own home.
(1 out of 5 Stars, The film is rated PG-13 for extended sequences of intense fantasy action violence and frightening images)